I used to sleep on my stomach, then I got pregnant. Apparently I got used to sleeping on my side because now I can't ever get comfortable on my stomach. It's been almost three years since I had my son and I think I'm officially a side sleeper now.
I'm weird (if y'all can't already tell that by now). When it comes to most bodily fluids, puke mucus, shit, only let me see it if you want me to add to the mess by emptying the contents of my stomach. People say it's different when it's your own child; for me, it's not. His shit still smells like shit and looks like shit. One time my wife left me home with him and he liquid shit himself. I hosed him off in the yard. He had a blast. I fertilized the yard. She was mortified. But when it comes to blood, guts, gore, I'm just, meh don't care. Doesn't bother me in the least. Great example, my neurosurgeon told me he knew I was going to survive my brain surgery when, as he was explaining how they were going to drill into my skull to relieve the pressure then cut away bone and tissue to get to the tumor, I kept eating my cheeseburger only pausing to sign something or give consent when they needed it. Needless to say, I watched the entire birth of my child. Didn't bother me in the least. I thought it was cool, that the human skin could stretch (and occasionally tear) that much, that something that large could make it out alive from someone else. To me, there was no "miracle" in it, it was just a matter of watching a really cool part of nature and evolution at work. I could tell you what it looks like but I'd have to think about it. I got to cut the umbilical cord, which to me felt like the head part of a squid. That was cool. Apparently when my father watched his first daughter being born, he passed out from the gore, hit his head on the corner of a counter on the way down and had to be taken to the ER in order to get his skull stitched up. Pussy. Once my son was fine and taken out of the room I sat down to some enchiladas I had heated up in the microwave a few feet away from where her placenta was in a bucket.
Heh. Yesterday I saw a post on tumblr about the typical bleeding for a long time after you give birth and there were all these reblogs of people freaking the fuck out over it. Some were just appalled that women aren't commonly warned about this and others were so horrified they decided they didn't want to have kids. I laughed at all of it. Like, don't we bleed a week out of every month already? Of all the troublesome things that happen during pregnancy, birth, and that first month with a newborn, I guarantee that extra bleeding was not even in the top 10.
So the twin likely has cancer again and this time its leukemia. He'll probably go through chemo and a stem cell transplant. I am happy and freaked out to be donating bone marrow to him. He is my twin so there's no question no hesitation but yea....beer, solution to all lifes problem.s
You saw yourself being born? Trippy. Btw, don't judge me, I misread that, definitely stressed out right now.
My favorite are the people who thin that if you have a c-section that you don't go through all the same recovery. Other than my vagina not having to accommodate a baby passing through it I still had to deal with the exact same things plus taking care of the incision. In other news, I just bought the best project bag that has half naked men on it. I'll post a picture later when I get back to my cabin. I also just poured a gin and tonic into my giant Tervis tumbler I got in my goody bag. A girl I know from Maryland also brought me some 10 oz cans of Bud Light, it's gonna be a good night.
I would like to formally launch a campaign that shegirl is the worrrrsssst. Will there be a new WDT to wrap through the long weekend or not? Isn't this about the time she does the shut down / reopen thing? Because, with Sunday being National Go Topless Day, I feel like it's important we establish whether or not we're supposed to start commenting / celebrating that now or wait until the new one starts. I'm looking at you, winky devil boobs.
Yeah, what a bitch... how dare she take off on vacation and ask the other mods to do her work for her... it was very responsible of her... unlike us...