Tonight is the night: I'm going to do the waxing/shaping of Jungle Julia's bush. She said that she's gonna have to get really fucked up to do it, but she wants me to go through with it, no matter how much she protests at the last minute. And keep in mind that this was 100% her idea. As far as everyone's suggestions on the shape go, I was thinking of making an ace of spades; I'll do what I can. This is about the level of hair density I'll be dealing with, just with longer strands: Spoiler This isn't her pussy, just a close approximation. Unrelated, but at the same time, always topical: Spoiler For the record, this came up in an image search of "ace of spades pussy bush."
Have you ever waxed anything before? Because Jesus in a pear tree, I wouldn't let someone learn on my cooter.
It's funny you mention that, Angel. Yes, I have waxed before: About 13 years ago, I waxed The Ice Cream Cake Girl's pussy (once again, her idea), and before we did her, as a show of good faith, I waxed my own taint. Yeah, that's right. It wasn't as bad I thought it would be, but these days I just stick to shaving it. Tonight, we're going to try a strip on my leg first, to make sure that I've still got it.
I'm over here trying to decide what knitting projects to bring with me to Tennessee this week and you're trying to decide how to style pubic hair. Suddenly I feel like a really boring person, and I'm okay with that.
Steering the conversation away from pubes for just a minute, why the fuck do kids like bubbles so much? I hate bubbles. The bubble soap is sticky and if my kids get any on them at all they wipe it on me. The only good thing that has come out of this afternoon of bubble blowing is that they've managed to dump out half of the bubble liquid. Praise Odin, less bubbles for next time!
It's genetically built in. We spend 9 months in the womb, inside an amniotic sac that acts as a cocoon in which we live. So kids' fascination with bubbles is a instinctive call back to that familiarity and safety. I have no idea if any of that is true, I just made it up. But it sounds correct? I also made up another fact for my wife and our cab driver over the weekend when I was fucked up off my ass. She asked why so many theaters are called "Paramount." I told her it's because production companies used to own the theaters they distributed their movies to before an anti-trust case busted it all up. Paramount was and is a major studio so when they sold off the properties, they kept the name. Again, no idea if any of it is true.
For those wondering, I have decided on two sock projects, a baby dress for a pregnant friend, and a shawl. That should keep me busy for the four days I'll be gone. I know nobody was actually wondering.
Honestly, I would love to take up knitting, but I'm afraid that knitting + cats would send me into old lady frumpville. Maybe someday, but not today. Also in my defense, I spent the majority of the last week buzzed. And skinny. I've never seen so many dumpy tourists.
Like you can't drink and knit at the same time. Pshaw, that's what socks are for. For real, this knitting retreat is 100 knitters gathering together to talk the shit and drink the booze. Plus it's right on a lake in TN so it's really pretty there, and there are canoes. All the meals are provided so I don't have to cook or take care of anyone for four solid days. Forget Christmas, this is my favorite time of the year.
My wife tried to wax herself once. She pulled it halfway and freaked out like a little kid afraid of taking off a bandaid. She ran into the bedroom naked, with this strip of paper kinda half dangling there and was freaking out. I laughed, said "good luck with that" and turned up the volume on the tv to make her even more mad. She ended up having to cut it off with scissors and go to a professional waxed to make it all look even. She still gets mad when I joke about it. Apparently it's embarrassing when I tell the story around her family.
Do you know the people at this knitting retreat, or is it just randoms? Im so glad my hobbies are things like craft beer, golf and skiing. It makes it much easier to tell people what I'm doing on vacation without getting weird looks.
My mom and sister are into basket weaving. Seriously into basket weaving. Some of them are works of art, made with porcupine quills and pine needles. Every year they go to huge 4 day retreats with their basket guild to learn new stuff and drink. More power to them.
I'll be driving down with a friend from college, it's about 8 and a half hours from her place which is about 90 minutes from mine. This is our second year so we know some of the people who were there last year too. I "know" some of the people from online as well, though that doesn't really count. There's a pretty big social media site for knitters and crocheters and though I cringe to say the phrase "knitting community" there's a pretty big one on instagram as well.
I've always wanted to learn to knit. And sew for that matter. I got a badass sewing machine from my grandmother in law who's giving crap away before she dies and I'm afraid I'm gonna sew my fingers together with it. Hell I drove a fence staple sideways through one finger today. Little skin got pinched mid hammer swing. On second thought maybe I shouldn't learn to sew....