I'm leaving town for a weekend-long baby shower/girls sleepover. Pray for me that I don't cunt punch someone after about the third "awww that's so precious/adorable/cute!!!!!!!" I love these ladies; I hate showers.
Alternate definitions of awkward I've discovered: being constipated for six days, taking an equine dose of a stimulant laxative, and having that laxative take effect during dinner. No, that wasn't me.
In the last five years I've been on around 300 flights, and not once have I pooped on an air plane. It just seems scary.
I don't fly anywhere near that much but I have been on 20 or so flights in my adult life and I have never pissed on a flight, shitting is out of the question. I am 6'7 so once I wedge myself into that seat its over.
See I use the in flight bathroom because none of you shitpussies on the flight will go near the door. Im not sure if Ive ever taken a dump though, not something I'd be against but I take one large dump in the morning so it's usually once every 24 hours so I miss in flight bowel movements.
Shitting on an airplane is a no go. I avoid the bathroom at all costs. However, I piss a lot so that's pretty hard to do. I would have to be very near to shitting my pants in order to take a dump on an airplane. For some reason, airplane bathrooms seem much dirtier than the average public bathroom and gross me the fuck out.
Did you tell the preacher to fuck off? I'd leave the wedding if someone asked me to walk a dog down the isle.
Probably the underlying fear that dudes are pissing all over the seats when the slightest turbulence hits.
Apparently it's now a "thing" to have guys attend baby/wedding showers. My wife got an invitation to one that was a couples' baby shower and I told her that they could kindly fuck right off if they thought I was going to go to that. Unlike most "men" these days, I still have my balls attached and the fish ain't gonna catch themselves.
My best friend and his wife had their first baby and invited my wife and I to the baby shower. So I went. Somehow, amazingly, I still have my testicles attached. It wasn't the most amazingly interesting experience I've ever had, but my wife appreciated me there, as did my best friend and his family and various mutual friends. So we hung out and chatted and then left as things wound down. Would I have preferred to do something else that afternoon, probably, but it was fine and made people I care about happy so it wasn't a huge deal. Not every outing is an all-in test of my masculinity and independence where I will lose my identity if I relax a bit and just go along. Though I would probably balk at spending a weekend like that and just do a temporary drop in as a compromise.
Actually pretty warm cause our heart isn't straining to circulate blood through our praying mantis-like limbs.
Fucking seriously! I'm 6'2", and hate planes to boot. I'm leaving for London next week, and am having panic attacks thinking about sticking what is apparently my midget frame in those seats? Fuck off. Taller than me? You've got to be fucking kidding me, charter a private flight or something. Jesus.
So let me ask you HR job recruiters a question. Having to sign up and create new profiles for every fucking company you want to apply for is a just a way to weed out people who can't stand fucking repetitive mundane task correct? Shit is tiring.
Thats what they want you to think. Before you know it you won't be able to hang out with the guys because she hates your friends. Remember independent George and relationship George? Thats not a theory, thats a fact.
Use a form-fill plugin for your browser. Two clicks to fill out all the repetitive profiles, and you can just hit up the last few things that aren't the same.
Hey pal, you don't know what "hard" is until you have to squat down in the shower to wash your hair. I have to do that, and I'm only 6' 0". Fucking short privilege... It's not easy being tall, but chicks dig it, so I'm not going for the height reduction surgery just yet.