8/5/2016 WDT NSFW

Hey, a trip to the store without kids is a fucking holiday. Our grocery store has those little tiny carts that my two year old thinks are demolition derby carts. It's a nightmare.

 

A cart full of beer and a course full of sun, can't beat it. Back to school starts Monday, ugh. Why can't summer be 12 months long?

 

I think a holiday for parents of young kids or any kids is a night of silence and heavy drinking, maybe wondering where things went so wrong, possibly wondering why their spouse is such a jerk.

I think the worst thing I've ever heard was on TV, some mom told her teenage daughter she wasn't worth sacrificing her body for.

 

My brother-in-law just accidentally texted me a close up picture of a plant that I'm pretty damn sure is a marijuana plant.

If he's growing he probably should double check who he's sending pictures of his plants to.

 

Nett, get this: he was in the cab on his way to London to blow up the Galleria (City Plaza) downtown RIGHT FUCKING HERE when they nabbed him. He blew his detonator up in the cab, injured the cab driver and the police wasted him still in the car.

God DAMN. My own fucking backyard.

 

I wonder if Trump would consider also building a wall along the Canadian border.

 

I feel like I should preface this by saying that I really do love my best friend and also that my hormones are raging but she's pissing me off. See, there's a reason I buy concert tickets when they go on sale. The reason being that the day before (that would be today), I'm not waiting to hear back from someone who can "get us tickets". Now normally, yes, he's a great connection and I know he tried (and is still) and that they would be really phenomenal seats but this waiting until the last minute shit means, in this case, that we most likely aren't going. At this point, we could buy lawn seats but no, I'd rather not go. So let's try for Saturday in Charlotte* you say? Oh, you're going to call your brother who is CO-OWNER OF A COMPANY THAT ONLY DOES EVENT TICKETS? Why haven't you called him before now?

Does this kind of thing happen to anyone else?

*It's the Dixie Chicks and don't you dare fucking judge me for that.

 

A good night consists of beer, bacon, and bingo. Put all three together and you have a great night. With all going wrong in the world, you have to appreciate the good when you can...

 

Ever watch Shark Tank? A couple years (seasons) ago they had Cousins Maine Lobsters on, a food truck looking to expand. Well, they're fucking delicious.

Lobster Tator Tots:

 

You had me at the first two . . . . .look, I'm not one to disparage Bingo, but surely there is something else that can complete the triumvirate. Boobs? Baseball? Bear meat? Bourbon?

 

Don't dog on bingo, man. How else is he going to pick up elderly women?

My cocktail of the night is Between the Sheets. No egg white in this one so I guess I'll have to get my protein elsewhere.

 

Okay y'all, I was browsing the permanent threads for something unrelated and I realized that the TiBer thread, the boobie thread, the booty thread, AND the bikini thread are all on the second page over there. Seriously? Have we become a bunch of prudes?

Maybe its' the booze talking but I feel like we should remedy that this weekend. It will take teamwork and perseverance but I believe in us!

I am guaranteed to regret this post tomorrow.

 

REALLY, ABNERETTA? FUCKING REALLY?*

Hey, show of hands: Who has posted in one of those threads in the last few months? (Raises hand)

I've been saying for a long time that if the TiBettes don't feel like they're up to posting in the boobie or booty threads, then the bikini thread is always wide open. Hell, it doesn't even have to be a bikini, it can be a short/hiked-up skirt, or a low-cut/pulled-down top.

*I don't mean to seem like I'm picking on you, but this is something that lots of people (not just Rush) have been saying for a long time. You're a doll for contributing what you have.

 

I hit up the Cousins truck every few weeks here in Nashville. It makes me wish I could just pack up all my stuff and move to Maine.
It's not the best lobster roll I've ever had, but it is the best lobster meat I've had in Nashville.

 

In all seriousness, don't post anything if you might regret it, anyone. Post because it's fun, or it makes you feel sexy to show off a bit, or because it makes you feel good to have your Internet weirdo family stroke your ego a bit through rep. I joke around a lot, but I don't want to coerce anybody into doing something that makes them feel ashamed later.