I'm pretty sure the only one who'd be constrained in masturbation would have been ballsack. He had to pee sitting down. He probably had to jerk off sitting on a doily.
Movies that are pretty scary; The Descent and The Descent 2: Also, The Mist: Even though it's almost beautiful, all those weird other-dimensional creatures, they're none of them passive, but that motherfucker, and he's enormous.
I forgot about that. That's why y'all perma-banned him right? In unrelated news, I just broke my Marmite cherry (couldn't find vegemite in the store or on amazon prime -- because I wanted it now damnit!). It was -- shockingly -- a success. I had intended to use it only as an umami booster in things like sauces and broths, but figured I'd give it the college try on buttered toast.... holy fucking shit where have you been all my life!! That salty, tangy, almost meaty flavor just blasts you upfront, with the sweetness of the butter and the crunchiness of the toast. It's heaven. Then the yeast-y aftertaste, it tastes like what a Brit's teeth look like. Maybe the two are correlated. I don't know, nor do I care. I'm certain my wife will make me chug a half gallon of listerine before I get anywhere near her, but it will be worth it.
Descent is great, but The Mist is so horribly underrated. I've got a man crush on Frank Darabont. He should be the only one allowed near a Stephen King property anymore. Both prove horror flicks can still have things like drama, acting, cinematography. Put 28 Days Later on that list too. Danny Boyle and the guy who wrote The Beach novel. How cool is that? Not to mention it was intense as fuck; I could taste my nuts. Speaking of Stephen King, if you have 90 minutes, watch The Night Flier. It's not groundbreaking, but it's actually solid and fun without being goofy. HBO, who made it, should do more stuff like that. It's on youtube conveniently:
My new yoga friend is shamelessly hitting on me. I wear my wedding band to class. I feel awkward saying, "Hey my super married HUSBAND is cooking dinner for me. Gotta run!" Meanwhile this dude is texting me about my "beautiful energy". Blah. I gave him my number bc I wanted to stay in the Ashtanga loop. This is weird. If there's one place I thought I could go and never fear weird dudes that were actually heterosexual, it was yoga. Derp.
Another round of people posting that "As of this date, I do NOT give Facebook or its entities permission to use my photos, posts, information, blah blah" seems to have hit my newsfeed. How do people still think that does anything? How did anyone ever think that did anything?
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=775038002606636 In unrelated news, here's a roadrunner demonstrating its lack of shit-giving.
Dont feel awkward, that guy is deliberately crossing a line. A more blatant dismissal might be necessary.