A classic dilemma: Should I poop at work and get paid for it, or should I wait until I get home where I can enjoy the comfort of my own bathroom? They never taught us this stuff in college.
Aw yeah. No doubt. You gots to poop at work. The best thing about my job is that we have single-toilet bathrooms. People can poop in peace without shame.
One of the proudest moments of my life was making my shop-boss in Kotzebue run, cussing and dry-heaving, out of the communal shitters at lunch time. He glared at me the rest of the day, as though I'd raped his nasal passages with my moose sausage and caribou burger craps. He got revenge, though, by making me clean the tank farm for the millionth-seeming time. You haven't lived until you've cleaned up seagull and raven shit, feathers and leavings of bones, scraps of rotting hide, rotten fish skeletons and neighborhood garbage trapped in a mosquito-breeding pit of a chocolate-brown mud hole that's been coagulating like an infected wound under the Arctic summer Sun.
Google Image Search. Which, I had to use to get that picture. All the results were not as delightful as I was hoping. All I wanted was a "cougar" in a leopard outfit, which, in retrospect, is what I should have typed the first time. When I was renting my office space, the first one the guy showed me had a hall bathroom that I'd share with other tenants. I looked at him and said, "just to save you some effort, that's a deal breaker." Got my own exclusive toilet now.
I went to Costco today to buy some bottles of booze and went through the most extensive carding process of my life. I am 37 and was asked for my ID which he inspected. He then put it under I think a blacklight followed by running it through the card checking machine four times. Finally I was allowed to buy booze. I look young for my age but Jesus Christ man.
Zero Tolerance my friend. I'm 52, 53 in a month. My hair is pretty much gray now, I've smoked cigarettes for almost 40 years and have all the tell-tale wrinkles. Some minimum wage cashiers think this is a clever ruse of mine to appear over 18 when I buy cigarettes and card me. It annoys the fuck out of me, but at the same time I know their boss who never has to ask an old man to prove he's an old man made the rule.
One of the things I love about my job is that the floor has 4 restrooms - a mens, a ladies, and two handicaps. I get carded extremely rarely, and that doesn't bother me. I value time over vanity.
Are you merging topics, or do you get carded to use the restroom? Why are ghosts always drunk? Spoiler: Ha ha Because of all the boos.
http://www.news957.com/2015/09/29/n...-in-b-c-home-after-stealing-truck-in-ontario/ In a nutshell, guy loses his job on the east coast so he heads west. Steals a truck on the way, drives to the west coast, finds a nice ranch where the owners aren't home, breaks in, has a shower, feeds the cats, thaws some meat, builds a fire and is relaxing while writing in his journal about what a lovely day he's having when the homeowners come home and catch him. Even Canadian B&E is kind.
Actually, it's probably their POS software is set up that it won't ring restricted items unless you provide an ID. Usually what happens is they set these protocols up, but give managers override capabilities, and then some 80 year old comes along and is checked out by a regular cashier, and blows a gasket when asked for an id. I see it at least once a day.
After reading that story, it actually ends pretty sad. The only thing that could make it hilarious is if they contacted his company and they were prepared to give him a raise.
This morning at work, a morbidly obese woman got stuck in the revolving door. If that doesn't cause a person to reevaluate how they're living their life, I don't know what will. On second thought, they'll probably just file an ADA complaint.
Woman misses a wedding, so the newlyweds send her a bill to cover the meal she and her husband didn't eat.. God, this is so special. So delicate, so rare. It's their day. They deserve it. My wedding will involve a justice of the peace, a couple kegs, and a shitload of frozen corndogs.