Man I spent many a shift in the hospital doing nothing more than trying to protect the grand kids against this sort of display from their grandfather who had a stroke/had Alzheimer's/had a head injury. It's like they revert back to the toddlers glee in their quest I be naked.
They sure do. What was really creepy was seeing my Grandmother flirt with blood relatives. Alzheimer's is the fucking worst. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
My grandpa was sitting in his armchair in some shorts going on about the USS Missouri and the symbolism it had. Meanwhile, I was treated to a front row seat to what I deduced was a scrotum, at lead to hope it was a scrotum. Do you guys trim your pubes before a physical? I have one tomorrow and i figured if I'm gonna have another dude all up in my fruit-n-yorgurt parfait, I might as well look presentable.
Why do you want to look presentable to a male doctor? If its a female doc, I would consider it because theres always a slight chance it could get real. Very slight. I mean, what if you can't cover your copay?
I want to take a pause on the scrotal talk and say that roaches are worse than anything, and this includes spiders and centipedes (the common debate around here). Continue on.
The first memory I have of seeing a vagina was walking in on my great grandmother taking a piss when I was 5-6 years old. The bathroom in my grandpa's house were skeleton key locks and she didn't lock it. Either she is a stand wiper or I just startled her but the image of her standing deer in the headlights glaze in her eyes and her wrinkly old labia out for all the Earth to see was burned into my mind. It was like that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, it was, the worst, possible moment to open the door. This is also the only clear memory I have of her while she was alive. We'd go to her house and I remember exploring it but I don't remember any other interactions with her. The only other big memory I have of her was when her ashes arrived from the funeral home* and my dad was on the phone with my grandpa and joked about how grandma never felt lighter. *Nothing like sending relatives in the mail.
Because I'm a not a monster. Nor am I gay, but a good looking penis ain't nothin to be shy about. What if he judges it? Then again he is a Chinese man after all, so I'm sure he'd be impressed with anything larger than a baby carrot.
I don't care if it's a spider, centipede or roach, I don't want it near my scrotum. And Juice, why were you looking anywhere near the vicinity of Grampa's junk?
I know when I'm geriatric I'll hide my god damn shame. I've seen too many slinky balled old men changing in the locker room to know that shit is not appropriate in a decent civilized society. Maybe I'll sound prudish like that poster (gamecocks?) that railed against hookers a while back but there has to be SOME sort of decency in this world. Covering your old cock'n'balls when the ravages of time have turned them into sin is my limit.
Fuck that. Being old is the perfect excuse to say fuck you and wave your dick at passing cars. The rest of society thinks "he's old, senile, and has paid his dues" so they give you a free pass. USE THAT FREE PASS.
Just to be clear, at what age is one sufficiently "old" to wave their wang at cars? And does the same also apply to old ladies? Because I definitely don't want to see old labia on the streets. Or in the sheets.
Chronological age is relative. If you're wrinkly enough and bitch about the weather every other day, I'd say you're old enough. As for the granny folk, waving your floppy labia at passing cars requires a certain level of flexibility and dexterity that probably left them in the dust years ago. Waving your floppy titties at passing cars is just as acceptable. I still can't believe I haven't been named in the FMK thread yet.
Okay, what better forum to go to then the idiot board as an anonymous question asker. I'm a dude who found out through a drunk loud mouth acquaintance to both parties that my best friends girlfriend is going to break up with him. I have to tell him, correct? The thing is she likes to complain, a lot, so I don't even know if shes 100% serious and I don't want to be the reason for a break up. Here comes the bigger underlying problem. They are 22 and 24 years of age respectively, been together for around three years give or take. They live together Have a dog together And are on the same phone bill. I've always been a bro before ho kind of guy and always will be, but this is probably the one of the worst things I've gotten myself into because this break up would fuck him mentally and financially. Oh, I should add he is a pretty big douche to her and probably had it coming, but I can't help feel like I have to be a good friend
Unless you're a 12 year old girl, keep your fucking mouth shut. It's none of your business. If she's going to dump him, he can probably already sense something's amiss unless he's got his head so far up his ass he can smell his own liver.
If she's going to tell him, why butt in? Let her take care of business. Because if you're wrong, you know how shitty that would be? And if you're right...well, still none-ya.