I was tempted to text my friend last night at 11:30 just to make her laugh, but I was afraid her husband would see the text and then yell at her for telling me what he said. I know she would have found it funny though. So hard to resist.
Sitting at the hospital while the youngest has surgery. If I weren't so afraid of snoring I'd post up and take a damn nap. Dang.
Is this what passes as a wild and crazy night at your house? Between this and the "spontaneous" sex, I don't know how you handle it.
Two people in Kiev decided to bang on the railroad tracks while walking home from a party. I guess they didn't hear the train coming. She's dead, he had both his legs amputated. If that isn't a Darwin Award in the making, I don't know what is.
This was a thing when I went to Southern Illinois University. Massive campus, beautiful grass fields on either side of the train tracks most people need to walk over to get to the town with the bars. Kids would come back all the time, falling on the train tracks and staying there. ALL THAT GRASS people would fall on the tracks and stay there, or try to fool around on the tracks and the trains came at the sames over the weekend.
We've talked about this idiocy here before. It never ceases to amaze me that people can actually fail to detect the noise/vibrations/head-smashing ginormousness of an approaching train. A few years back, after yet another one of these storied appeared in the newspaper, I was up on my soapbox about the stupidity of it all when my mother looked at me and said "Your Uncle got hit by a train."
I don't get the thrill of banging on the tracks. I feel like they'd be incredibly bad on my back. I feel like that statement alone is how I know I'm old.
I realize this is going to open me up for Gravy and Freecorps to make more fun of me, but one time my husband and I were in the middle of having sex and he stops and kind of gasps and grabs his back. I just looked at him and asked if he was serious. He persevered though. Just think, this will all be you one day. And if I'm still around I will laugh and laugh. Because that will be all I have left in my life apparently.
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I think you're going to have to explain to Gravy how someone generally has sex so he has a point of reference.
Was this spontaneous? See what happens if you don't use Icy Hot and take an ibuprofen before activity?
Ive decided I need to get into the alcoholic beverage industry. One of my friends works at a wine shop and is trying to get a job in a wine distribution center. He's taken me to a couple of events and those people fucking know how to live. Honestly they are far from the snobby Sideways assholes you'd imagine, though there are a lot of European pointy shoed weirdos to go around. I have a feeling the liquor industry wouldn't be a bad gig. In a odd unrelated note one of his friends, in the industry, randomly called me Kublai Kahn when I asked for a lighter for a cigar I needed to light.
I used to always go with Best Friend to her dad's fancy pants house for Sunday Dinner Nights. There was excessive wine, tasty dinner, and everybody brought weird smelly cheese to try out. It was a fucking blast and I really miss it. Definitely not snobby, just straight up fun. PS: If you can get your paws on some mango cheddar, DO IT. Your taste buds with thank me later.
Darwin is having a busy week. I imagine he ushers into heaven the unfit that did not survive, shows them around, then pulls the trap door lever that sends them to hell where they land anus first on a giant stalagmite. Helicopter pilot killed when he CHASED HIS HAT INTO THE SPINNING ROTOR BLADES. I do not want to be the coroner that has to ladle that dude into several hefty bags. Now, who wants gazpacho?!
Bloomsburg is my Alma Mater, and unless things have changed significantly in the last several years, I am not the least bit surprised that happened there. We had one guy that thought it would be fun to climb some electrical tower drunk and got electrocuted. He ended up paralyzed from the waist down. But that fair is awesome.