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A Drunk Thread Service Announcement- 9/23/11

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Sep 23, 2011.

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  1. mya

    mya
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    I guess I am a person of passion. I cant' be restricted like that!
     
  2. Nom Chompsky

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    Wait, did you get this from a teacher? Because I remember one of my English teachers definitely had this rule.
     
  3. Gravitas

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    I think I picked it up from one of my creative writing professor's. But I'm not sure which one. And I don't think any of my teachers ever taught anywhere east of the Mississippi.
     
  4. Nom Chompsky

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    I love hearing about the little idiosyncraseis people pick up from teachers. I remember my first year of college math, people kept looking at me funny because I would read 6! (i.e., 6 factorial) as "6 bang" because that's how my teacher did it. Apparently I was the only one, and that wasn't a real thing at all.
     
  5. Gravitas

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    Look at what I have done...

    But as someone said above. No situation has ever occurred where more than one was needed.

    I could get propositioned by Allison Brie, Anne Hathaway, and Rachel McAdams for a four-way and I would only use one in the immediate message I would send to my friends:

    I need viagra. NOW, GODDAMNIT!

    Is that the hot teacher you made inappropriate comments towards? If so she was sending some mixed fucking signals man.
     
  6. Nom Chompsky

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    I was friends with Anne Hathaway's brother for a few months. He's kinda a douche.
     
  7. mya

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    Well, now you know who should be first on your contact list.
     
  8. Rush-O-Matic

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    Holy fuck. I've been away from the computer. (Auburn, game and what not all day yesterday; yard work and what not today.) WTF? This many pages -- on a non-holiday weekend AND hardly any nudity. Seriously, WTF? It took me so long to catch up, I think Nom changed his avatar twice.

    So, anyway. Good times.
     
  9. Nom Chompsky

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    Oh man, this was a round old southern man. Who I made inappropriate comments towards, but they weren't sexual in nature.
     
  10. Gravitas

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    I feel like hearing "Hey, bro, bro, bro...seriously bro, I'm a little drunk, but I just want to say I would totally fuck your sister" all the time would turn anyone into a douche.

    I have to ask though: does the joker-esque smile run in the family?
     
  11. Nom Chompsky

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    Well, he doesn't wear lipstick, so it's not nearly as bad. But he does have a fairly wide smile.

    He actually wasn't as bad the friend through whom I knew him. This girl invited me to hang out with her at Sarah Lawrence for the night, and it was hands down one of the most surreally annoying experiences i've ever had in my life. She was super hung up on Tom Hathaway, so her leaving "for five minutes to talk to him" turned into me spending five hours with her cokehead friend at a variety of stupid hipster parties (one of which I got recognized at by someone I didn't recognize, which was weird).

    It got so bored that I wound up meeting up with this girl I knew from craigslist to pass the time. I only knew this craigslist girl because she was a crazy exhibitionist and wanted somebody to send naked pictures to.

    Fucking Sarah Lawrence.
     
  12. McSmallstuff

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    They gave us drinks,
    to drink.
    We drunk 'em!
     
  13. Gravitas

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    No, no, no. I refuse to believe that Sarah Lawrence is nothing but hot, smart, bi-curious girls in a perpetual pillow-fight.
     
  14. Nom Chompsky

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    I'd say they're more cute and self-styled intellectual than hot and smart. And more moody whining than pillow-fights.

    They're definitely bi-curious though. And the ratio of "girls who fuck guys" to "guys who fuck girls" is really high, so if you have any social skills at all, it's not hard to get laid.
     
  15. Kubla Kahn

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    Fame fuckers are super annoying, though if I were famous. I'd fuck em'.
     
  16. Kampf Trinker

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    Late Sunday night is always such a depressing time. I really don't want to work tomorrow. And what am I going to do at work? Make a database for 1000s of parts of which 80% I have no idea what the fuck the name is, and probably 30% I don't even know what the hell they are for. It's going to be such a mess, and I know my boss is going to start bitching by the end of the week that it's taking too long.

    Does anyone know a job I can get that will allow me to retire at 27 that isn't drug dealing?
     
  17. Gravitas

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    I knew I picked the wrong college. Hell, I read an article about sex at Sarah Lawrence (that may have been the title), but it said that even male cafeteria workers are (or at one time) were getting laid.
     
  18. Rob4Broncos

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    You can oversell yourself to a company and cash in on a huge bonus. If you play your cards right, you won't blow it all on cough syrup and TGI Friday's.

    That worked wonders for JaMarcus Russell.
     
  19. Nom Chompsky

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    You could be a whore, but either way you're still gonna wind up fishing condoms out of your ass in airport bathrooms.
     
  20. Kampf Trinker

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    Hmmm... I'll give it a shot, but I don't know if I'm pretty enough to be the high end stuff that rakes in 5k a night. I have a big dick though, which would be enough for you. Wait, let's change topics.

    I'm kind of disappointed in Dogfish after watching beer wars. I tried three varieties and they all taste like one of those beers where the maker said 'If some hops is good then a huge shit ton of hops must be great!' I expected better from the beer company that was trying to stick it to the man.
     
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