I almost feel too tired to drink. Almost Man, you would have to pay me to get a 16 year old drunk for the first time. If she is anywhere near as annoying as I was at that age, that is.
I just had pain chills, just reading that. That's an 11 year old dare, and it sucks. Watch the fucking Mentos and Diet Coke videos. Then put it in your mouth (that's what she said).
I feel like gender differences are playing a role in how we perceive these situations. for what it's worth, when my 16 year old sister got smashed at a family christmas dinner, she was far less annoying than she was sober. At least when you're lying down on a bed with the spins, you're not fucking talking.
Just thought of the perfect thing for her to drink. Goldschlager. Tastes like fucking candy and it has shavings of gold in it. Great for a 16 year old. Just don't let her do what I did and drink 10 shots in about 45 minutes. Can't even smell the stuff now without almost puking.
Good call it reminds me of a pretty good shot I had called Black Gold. Half Goldschlager and Half Jager good shit with a little burn.
We call those things liquid cocaine. I do not know anyone who decided to drink liquid cocaine for a night and ended up in anything other than terrible condition.
The version now is evil, when I last drank it it was pure hell, I think 115 proof. Now it is like 85 proof. Goldschlager can fuck you up so fast cause it is so easy to drink. Not for me anymore though. The last time I tried a shot of it a few years ago I immediatly spit it out or I would of puked. I was sober.
Shwa-bam. Pre-2008 Sparks. After three of these, she'll eat a folding chair and shit a baking pan. Depending on the kind of person she is, these will either be her entrance to or exit from the long road to a sober living home. When I see them in bodegas, I buy as many as I can carry.
The mini-me and I just read through all your suggestions. Thank you. We will drunkenly report back later. Keep them coming though.
My first time was off champagne, at 16. You could make her a mimosa that would taste pretty good. But I say buy a case of Capri Suns and pour some malibu rum into it. My fiance downs those like candy, and your cousin should be no different, especially since it's her first time. Or just go buy a strawberry hill Boones Farm. Whatever. Also good for her first time: - coke + vanilla extract + rum - rum + sprite - vodka + tonic + lemon - whiskey/burbon + cherry shnapps - blended margarita, heavy on the Triple Sec - butterscotch schnapps + bailey's - everclear + anything (if she doesn't like the taste of alcohol yet)
Red Bull and Vodka. Beer. Captain and Coke. Get her used to what everyone drinks, so she won't be furshnickered when she goes to parties at people's houses whose parents aren't home (it's gonna happen, get used to it).
What's that you want, ladies? Pure class? How about 11% carbonated "wine" loaded with caffeine that tastes like a bag of old nickels? Buck fiddy a can down here. I know how you dames like a nice wine. Plus it's in a can! Wine! In a can! As for myself I've got some prescription strength cough serp that I intend to mix with a honey/lemon/brandy cough remedy. I'm going ass fuck this cold to death in front of its mother. Will update when mission is aborted in lieu of writhing pantless in the yard.
I'd just like to point out how enthusiastically we all jumped into a conversation about the best way to get a 16-year-old girl hammered. See what happens when we work together? We move mountains.
What are the rules for drinking with a concussion? It's been 8 days so far, I think I might be in the clear.
My mom just walked into my room and heard the wonderful Sam Adams lyric "so how's my dick taste?" She then informed me I was not on vacation from my morals. Thanks mom. If only she knew our plans for the evening.