Great we go from budding authors cut down by the inventors of beer to a girl who can't even read. I just don't understand this world anymore.
Speaking of the holocaust, I'm in the proto-stages of planning a trip to Germany this summer (woooo, free flights to geilenkirchen) and am hoping to visit Dachau. And then go back to Munich and become intimately acquainted with the beer halls. Spoiler If you look at that picture long enough, you'll see three mugs of beer. How's that for a segue.
OK. I'm done. There is no way on God's green Earth a 13 year old girl wrote that shit. She might have wrote the basic text, but it's been embellished beyond believability. Well worth the time if you haven't read it though.
I feel the sudden urge to go shoot something. I mean to blow the bloody fucking shit out of something. Thank God I live in the country and bunnies do sort of resemble Hitler with big fucking ears. Now if only I can get close enough to one to draw a mustache on its face before sending it to bunny heaven in a spray of blood, guts and fuzz.
Nice bluff, lady. We both know you can't help yourself around rockin' tits and a nice can. Edit: HA! Fucking knew it. We should play poker.
Serves you right! Now you'll know better not to constantly ask. Be grateful I didn't post a shot of my lazy eye or my pannis.
Raise your hand if you have a bird sitting on your lap. *toytoy raises his hand* My little boy missed his dad. Now if I could just convince him to quit biting me. That shit hurts even though he hasn't drawn blood. Yet. It's only a matter of time.
I used to have a parrot. That fucker was too smart. At night he'd pick the lock on his cage, scale my blanket while I slept and bite my toes. To shit he'd back his ass entirely out of the cage and spray it all over the wall/floor so none got inside his crib. Then he ate the cypress wood door frame. Yeah, he had that beak salt rock whatever the fuck it was. He enjoyed the $10 a foot wood better. In closing: fuck birds, hooray beer.
Heh. Percy is a smart bird. He shits when I tell him to. I took him to a vet once and she wanted a stool sample. She looked at me and said "I guess we'll just have to wait until he goes." I had him step on my hand and told him "You go poop." He complied and shit on her paper towel.. The vet looked at me wide eyed and asked "How in the hell did you teach him to do that?" I told her I got tired of him shitting on my shoulder and taught him to crap on demand. To this day he will hold it in until I hold him over the toilet or put him back in his house.
That's a shame. I was hoping you built a giant perch so you could teach him through mimicry. Speaking of projectile fluids: <a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spermatorrhea" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spermatorrhea</a> "Spermatorrhea is a condition of excessive, involuntary ejaculation." It'd be like New Year's party favors everyday... and then I jizzed in my pants.
Just for reference, here's a picture of me and Percy eyeballing one another suspiciously that my baby cousin took. She didn't catch my good side. Anyways, I don't know which one of us is older...I''ve had Percy about 15 years and that equals what? About 100 years in human terms? He's been all over the country with me including a long 4 day road trip from Idaho to Mississippi. It would've been much shorter, but he kept raising a horrible din when it got dark and I'd have to stop and get us a hotel room to pacify his noisy ass.
Indiana? If anyone has some leads for bartending gigs, I'd appreciate it. Just made a drink out of cough syrup, brandy, lemon juice, honey, and seltzer water. I'm going to throw some mint in the next one and make a codeine mojito.