Happy birthday sweetheart and honey buns! It's chocolate, as it should be. Any other cake is an insult.
I got home from school at 6pm. I ate the biggest bacon cheeseburger of life and passed out. Just woke up a few minutes ago. Now what am I supposed to do?
It's one spank for every year of your life, right? That's what my aunt used to tell me. You know, the nun....
This is bad bad bad. I am wide awake, der-unk, and bored. I am thinking about cooking. I think that's how my neighbor died. Well, I learned from his mistake, no deep frying!
Some of the best food I've ever pulled off has been cooked when I was trashed. A few times it has been so bad that I didn't even remember making it, which is a pain in the ass because then I can't remember what I put in it.
Yuuuuuuuuuuuup. It's the holew loss of inhibitions thing. I will put a shitton of butter and oil and salt and whatt eh fuck ever in it. Because who the fuck cares? = awesome. yummmmmy
Regarding the post I made in the foodie thread about my list of food places in the city, Ms. audreymonroe had the gusto to send me "(.)(.) in a pm and told me it was her birthday to try to get me to send her the list. I, of course, quickly made a word document containing nothing but goatse and sent it to her. Just got this e-mail back: "Listen. Sir. I just saw this email, excitedly told my two friends about it as I opened the attachment, and as they gathered 'round the picture loaded and that was the worst thing ever. Thanks a lot. Worst birthday ever."