I can't hit a baseball to save my life. Our oldest just recently decided he likes baseball so I'll go to the park with him and play, but there really isn't anything more embarrassing than having an 8 year old out hit you.
I parallel park like a woman. There, I said it. Far as I'm concerned, though, that shit is overrated unless you live in a big city where it's necessary. Where I live, not so much.
I have a lot of trouble with keys. It takes me a month, maybe two, before I get comfortable with a new lock. Until then, I just hope no one can see or hear me struggling with the door for a while before I finally get in or out. Recently, we changed the locks on the front door to the house, so I had to lock and unlock four locks every time I wanted to leave or get into my apartment. It would literally take me five minutes. (Ten minutes if you count the time it takes for me to find my keys in my bag, which has a black hole in it.)
Like everyone else, I'm terrible with names and faces. A couple of years ago I took my car in to the dealer to have some service done. A nice guy with a name tag that said "Bob" came up and started talking to me. Asked me all about my dad and grandmother. Usually I just go with it and pretend, but I was feeling saucy this day so I just said it. "I'm sorry, how do I know you?" Yeah... cousin Bob wasn't too impressed with me.
This is me exactly. I can't even chug water fast. If I do a shot, I have to pour it in my mouth, hold it a second and then swallow in one big gulp. It really makes taking a shot horrible. Also have been told just to "open your throat". No idea how to do that.
Add me into the group here who cannot remember names for the life of them. I'm great at remembering someone's face, and can still recognize someone after years of not seeing them but names are just something that doesn't register with me. -I'm absolutely terrible at math, counting, pretty much anything involving numbers. Math was pretty much the sole reason I almost didn't graduate HS on time. Difficulty with math/numbers also makes me a horrible card game person. -My handwriting is atrocious. -I have no mechanical/electrical knowledge at all. -I suck with directions. Thankfully GPS has been my savior. I usually have to get lost a few times when driving somewhere before I can learn how to get to a certain place.
Me too. The only shot I can do is a Buttery Nipple which really isn't a shot shot, it's candy in a shot glass. Every time I have tried a "real" shot, I gulp it down and within split seconds it comes right back up. I too don't get this whole "open your throat" shit and lets just say, I have some experience in other throatal activities with no issues what so ever. I'm a techno-boob. Really it's a wonder I manage to do what I do around here. I am terrible with a knife in the kitchen. If it's a sharp knife or, god forbid, a new one there will be blood. I am notorious for doing this at one particular friends place and have been banned to only one knife. It's the oldest and dullest knife they have.
I work in a sales position and I suck at doing role play, where a coworker pretends they're a possible buyer and I have to sell them. Get me on the phone or face to face with a real potential buyer and I can banter and shoot the shit and clinch the sale very naturally. But when I get in a scenario that's ingenuine and I'm being evaluated by my coworkers and superiors, I tense up and sound like a goon. I also suck at shuffling cards. EDIT: For those of you who are bad with names, try this tip. As soon as you shake hands with someone, repeat their name so that it fits the conversation, like so: -Hi, my name's Mike. -Mike? Nice to meet you, Mike.
I also can't chug a beer or remember names very well. I have a horrible time with left and right. If someone tells me to look at something on my left a good portion of the time I have to look at my hands to see which one makes the L or think about what hand I write with. It's really pathetic. The reason above is probably one of the reasons I have such a horrible sense of direction. I have to use a GPS to get almost anywhere the first 3-4 times before I have any hope of remembering it in the future. Without that GPS I would get lost all the time.
Think that shirt is too far gone for the dryer? Throw in a wet washcloth with it. That's shit's comin out crisp.
I can't hit a softball to save my ass. I can hit a baseball to the other end of the planet. I even smoked live pitching off a minor league pitcher a few years ago. But if the ball isn't moving at least 70mph and has a high arch, I whiff. My buddy asked me to play in a softball tourney a few years ago, thinking the quick, strong, ultra-athletic guy who played baseball most of his life would do fine. He was wrong. They would have been better off recruiting Bruce Villanche to play for them.
Doesn't the vast majority of people have trouble remembering people's names? Is it really that unique? Focus: I can't tie balloon knots. I've managed to get a few out of the hundreds I've tried, but it's always terrible and takes me forever. It was especially terrible when I was young and attempting to participate in water balloon fights. While everyone else was quickly building their arsenal, I was the loser spraying water all over myself as I tried to tie them.
I suck so hard at phone calls, regardless of who it is with. I get along great with people in person or in written form whether it's an old friend or someone I just met, but put them on the other end of the telephone and I turn autistic. I don't know what it is, but I can never get into the flow of a conversation on the phone. It seems like I'm always speaking out of turn. I'll think their thought is complete when it isn't which makes me interrupt them or I think they are about to say something when they aren't which leads to long awkward pauses. I don't know why it is so hard. Also, I am absolutely horrific with directions. I've lived in places for years and never managed to figure out how to get anywhere without directions or a GPS. The only place I did well in was NYC. For some reason, learning the subways took me no time at all and Manhattan is a cinch just because most of it is numbered.
Parallel parking. I suck at it. I can do it but it takes me ten minutes to straighten the damn thing out. I either end up on the curb or too far away. I usually have to do it two or three times to get it right.
Remembering people's birthdays. This may be a narcissistic personality trait, but I DO remember on multiple occasions absentmindedly calling people on their birthdays clueless that it was their birthday. Usually this is just with friends, as family members are easy to remember. Recommending books to people. No matter how good the book I'm reading is, every time I try to suggest it to someone, I end up basically saying "just take my word and read it". Getting gifts for people. I'm envious of those who can remember that so-and-so mentioned three months ago that they really wanted a neck pillow for traveling, etc. I find that the best gifts are beer and gift cards, both of which can be bought last minute. It screams "I put no thought into this" but they go perfect together.
If i had to pick something i am horrible with its contribution to a conversation, even if I know a lot about the topic. I guess I just can't format my thoughts into words too well. This really sucks, as I don't make new friends very easy, also, its the main contributing factor to me being single for the last 10 years. I can be a great audience but ask for my input and the depths of my response are about the same as a puddle, yup, nope, eh, whatever. I am also not very good with accepting rejection, I don't go all crazy stalker or anything though. I just kinda of shut down as a whole, its a very dark place i go to when things like asking a woman out doesn't go well. This and the above has all but stopped me from approaching women... I have a very Durbanite existence. Spoiler I know, I know Also since I may have gone a little off the intended path of this thread.... QWOP, fucking hate that game.
Oh man, this is another one I'm terrible at too. I can't even remember my own fathers birthday, and I always feel like a huge ass when I have to make that phone call a week later: "Hey, so uh...happy birthday, a week late. Sorry."
Other things I suck at: -Doing laundry. Whatever, thats what moms are for anyway. -Sleeping (I suffer from a crippling bout with insomnia) -Like Crown, I am also very awful at basketball. Honestly, I can barely dribble and would most likely get beat by Special Olympians or the guys who play in their wheelchairs.