Yeah, but things like "I'm going to kill you" are most often said between friends as a joke. I'm going to accuse you of rape is a whole different ball game. A man accused of rape is a rapist in the court of public opinion. One of my best friends in college was accused of this. He ended up loosing his scholarship, getting kicked out of school, and a bunch of other bullshit was thrown his way from both the school, and a lot of jackasses that thought they knew the whole situation. This all happened before the trial even began. Hell my coach was even taking some heat because he was still letting my buddy work out with us, and be at matches as a part of the team. Cut to the trial. It comes out that this fucking whore, who had tried to sleep with most of the wrestling team, filed rape because her dad found out she slept with a black man. And if she didn't press charges, he would know his daughter was "A dirty nigger fucking slut." So she goes files charges, changes her story about 10 times throughout the course of the proceedings, and basically damn near ruined the life of a person who was a friend. All of this just to make sure her bigoted ass father, didn't think less of her. Even after it came out that the entire situation was complete bullshit, my boy still had to sue the fucking school just to get back in, and get his scholarship back. And until the day he graduated, he still had to deal with people who had no clue about the situation. He was told he was a rapist, and that he skated on "technicalities" almost weekly, by people who had no clue who he was and had never been to the trial. A trial that ended in the judge throwing the case out after she ripped his accuser a new one and threatened both her and her father with jail time. Sorry for the novel. It is just a touchy subject with me. I can't think of one single other bullshit charge that has the power to ruin a persons life as much as a rape charge.
Yes, but I think there's a big difference between a serious threat and something that has entered the vernacular. The way a statement is delivered/who is saying it is also pretty significant. If someone in an alley at 4 in the morning told me they were going to kill me, I'm likely going to react to that very differently than if my best friend says she's going to kill me because I finished the ice cream. I don't think rape threats have developed vernacular usage yet (ever?); the only way you encounter them is in threatening situations, usually with strangers trying to gain power. EDIT: What he said.
The only legitimately appalling thing about this thread is no one acknowledging my unbelievably witty thread title. GIVE ME GREEN DOTS OR GIVE ME DEATH!
I said no where that I approved of what she said. In fact, I said it was inexcusable. What I AM saying is that there is a difference between something you say during an argument while you're drunk and actual false rape charges. Jesus people.
And just how do you think a lot of these false charges get started in the first place? Don't backpedal too fast, now.
The word "kill" is very loose and sarcastic usually. I mean, I remember the review I wrote for Just Go With It: ..personally, I use the word loosely on a daily basis. I've only used the term "I'll kill you" seriously once, and since then I am not allowed within 500 feet of Julia Roberts.
Don't tell me what to do. Come to think of it, I was accused of rape by an ex once, in a roundabout fashion. I was going to school in VA beach, and I was chasing down this really cute Marine chick for about two months before she decided she actually did want to hook up with me. We both knew I was only gonna be there for another week or so, and so when I got my orders to San D, we left it on what I thought were good terms. I flew back through on my way out to my ship in the Middle East and had to stay the night on that same base. I went over to the smoking area of the barracks I was in before, and was surprised to find all my old friends giving me quite the cold shoulder. One of them did talk to me and I found out that she had been claiming that A. we didn't sleep together but that B. I had tried to force myself on her. I don't know if this was her way of trying to save face or something, thinking I'd never be around again, but it shocked the hell out of me.
Pray tell me how, if at all,I have backpedalled. In my original story, I presented a situation, albeit in more colourful language, where a woman's deceitfulness over the true state of her body caused me to lose my arousal. Later, I merely expanded upon my original statement in different terms. Frankly, I think that my lack of attraction to large women is what irritated you in the first place, but you lack the self-awareness or honesty to admit it. De gustibus non est disputandum.
Not to re-rail this thread but I have a small story that I'm sure I told here before. I'll preface this by saying that most of this story was told by her to me as I went to a different school than her. Spoiler I was dating this girl I worked with back in high school who was a little off the deep end. Everyone in her school hated her and passed all kinds of nasty rumors about her that she was a sloot and did all kinds of drug, all of which were untrue. Everything is going fine, normal relationship stuff: her car gets broken into and jacked up, she gets drunk and has someone ride on her bumper, fall off and snap his leg...usual stuff. Any who, she tells me about how some kid is sexually harassing her during school. I brush it off and can't really do anything about it. It happens a few days later and I tell her to talk to the principal or an adult...she doesn't. This happens one last time, so I come over to her house and she's talking to the kid on the phone and aim trying to get him to stop. I take the phone and tell this kid to stop or I'm going to beat his ass. When he hangs up, I send him some semi-threatening aim messages. This all blows over and nothing happens for a month or so. One random Sunday night at like 10pm the police dept from her town calls me house and tells my mom that the boy and his parents are going to press harassment and threat of physical violence charges unless I come in to testify. I obviously do. When I get there, I get put in an interrogation room with a cop whom I tell my whole side of the story. He tells me that I'm looking at a minimum of three months in jail...fuck. But he talks to the family who agrees to drop the charges if I stay away...which I obviously do. Before I leave the station, I ask him what the real story was. He explains to me that she was doing all this to him as a cry for attention. Great fucking job, cunt. Tl/Dr: a chick I dated in high school lied to me about being harassed, so I played macho to get this kid to back off, his family presses charges, and I face jail time. I find out she's lying by the police who were interrogating me. Fun shit.
Actually, yes. I would be. If a woman took off a man's pants only to find that the gigantic schlong she'd been eagerly anticipating was nothing more than Wal-Mart brand tube socks (and none too clean at that!), I would be understanding about her disappointment. It's okay to be turned off by something physically unappealing to you, and if her disappointment in his now-tiny penis was making her dry up and lose all sexual interest...well, that sucks and I wish her better luck next time on her big dick hunting expedition. But if she reveals--through action, countenance, or words--her disappointment to Tiny Penis Man, she's being a horrible person. Plain and simple. And if after revealing her disgust at his microscopic pecker, she tries get him to leave her apartment immediately, and then he insists he needs a place to spend the night, and she reacts with rude dialogue but then reluctantly agrees to let him stay for a few hours but firmly schedules an early departure time (when no early departure time had been mentioned prior to the Big Reveal), making it clear that she wants absolutely nothing to do with him whatsoever...I would fully expect him to get peevish. He would certainly be crossing the line by insinuating that he has a right to sleep in at her place as long as he'd like the next morning, unsupervised. And he'd be really fucking crazy and scary if he then threatened to rape her if she doesn't do what he wants. But I'd remind her that all of that could've been avoided simply by using good manners.
Look, the girl threatening a rape accusation and belligerently screaming outside of your house for hours is absolutely crazy. The demanding/asking to stay over is debatable, depending on where you live and how dangerous it would've been for her to get home alone at 4am while drunk. Not wanting her to stay at your house once she revealed the crazy aspect of willingness to falsely accuse rape was fine on your part; your safety matters too. The whole girdle thing was the asshole part. First of all, a girdle can't hide all that much. At most she revealed a couple inches and a midsection that wasn't as toned as you were expecting. To not be as enthusiastic about it or even to call it off is a little dickish to care THAT MUCH about that little extra, but I don't think that's what people are angry about, exactly. It's that you're seeking victimhood because you were betrayed by this deceitful liar who dared wear a girdle for a night out, and that you have every right to be angry about this. Do you know how many things a woman does to get dressed up are equal to what a girdle does, which is to shape the body? You do know what a bra does, right? Or tight dresses, or wearing black, or wearing heels? Or any of the other endless fashion tricks women study to do more or less the same thing? You do know that there's an entire industry devoted to women presenting their best version of their body? You do know that celebrities wear bodyshapers when you see them on the red carpet or in magazines? Not to mention all of the other tricks they do to look better clothed than they might naked? I could go into a whole tangent about how this is all due to societal pressures to look only one single way in order to be rewarded with the glorious dicks of people like you, but I won't. And it's extra funny how you said she had the gall to be offended by this, by someone completely rejecting her at her most vulnerable point for something that she's brought up knowing is her main source of worth - whether or not she's fuckable. Again, the way she reacted to that is beyond unacceptable, but to sit there and pretend like there was nothing assholish about how you presented your original post is laughable. If you breezed over the whole reasoning and said you didn't want to have sex anymore and she reacted that way, there wouldn't have been two pages of reactions to your story, I'm pretty sure.
Girls, it was an asshole thing to do. It was not, however, an asshole move to refuse her sex, and he absolutely had the right to kick her out when she demanded that she be able to stay in his house after he left. He wrote the story trying to make it funny. Tom hasn't been around here in a while, and didn't realize that it had turned into the Girl Power forums.
This is not directed at Audrey, but at anyone pissing on Tom for this: if it's not a big deal, why did she wear the girdle in the first place?
Don't you shave and dress nicer when you're going out? Don't you put on your best face? Women just have more tools at their disposal.
Ok, but the difference is I'm not HIDING a month's worth or facial hair growth, I'm REMOVING it. In this case she has an extra 15ish pounds of fat she's trying to pretend doesn't exist. When we go to bed, my facial hair doesn't grow.
I think girdles just make certain dresses fit better. Like on the red carpet, a lot of women wear them, even if they're not overweight or anything, just because of the lines they create. Also, deceit.