I'd like to say I'm in a bit of a grey area, but I'm sure I'm in the full blown "Paid for Sex" column. I use to have a girl that I hung out with a few years that was basically an open relationship. I was fresh out of a marriage and she originally didn't want anything serious. (As time went along, she developed some feelings but I kept a relationship at bay) When she was laid off, I'd help her out with her bills from time to time while we were still seeing each other quite a bit. Then she got crazy so I stopped hanging out with her like a BF and went back to just being drunken booty calls. As time passed, so did the booty calls. After a few months of not seeing each other, the idea of her giving me a BJ for some extra cash came up. (I honestly can't remember. This was 10 years ago). So for about a year, if she had some bills due or I was horny, we'd text the other person and set up a time for some oral. All in all, it was pretty fucking awesome. Show up, drop drawers, drop load, drop cash and leave. Her recollection probably isn't in the "Pretty Fucking Awesome" column though. Hmmmm.... after typing that all out, I'd say I definitely paid for sex and was a pretty fucked up person in my mid 20's.
This is a valid point. When I think American hookers, I think busted ass junkies giving BJs in trucks on COPS. The girls whose services I availed myself of overseas were hot eastern European girls that were probably only a couple steps above sexual slavery, now that I think about it.
Prostitution should not be illegal, period. The reason that it is illegal is a combination of prudes that think it's seedy (which, almost entirely, it is) and men who simply don't want to pay for something that they want more than anything, at least as the way I see it. To be more detailed, I think it should be legal with the proper regulations and guidlelines: criminal record checks, proper medical care and frequent check-ups, proper security, enforcement, etc. I mean, at gas stations we pay them money to take it in OUR ass, why not return the favour elsewhere and level the field a lil' bit? Prostitutes provide a very valuable service for desperate men, and that service is a woman willingly having sex with them. Without that, a couple million dudes in this continent may as well throw theselves into the sea.
If I go try to get laid in my small town, the girls that are DTF or one-night stand material are FAR hotter than any professional sex worker, with the cost and risks significantly lower. In Asia or Europe, the exact opposite is true. Also, in the US a hooker is generally looked at as a failure, where as stripper, porn star, model, backup dancer, video fodder, actress, etc. are all viable careers for someone who is attractive and doesn't mind making money off of their bodies. In countries like Ukraine, Indonesia or Brazil, it's an insanely easier road to just be a prostitute.
I've been thinking about this post a lot, and the conclusions I've come to are jarring. If you don't know much about the agency that you're hiring from, and sexual slavery is a real and prevalent concern -- almost to the point where it's more likely than not -- is it unethical to use the services of an escort? At what point does your personal responsibility kick in? I'm not sure, but this is a really important grey area that goes way beyond, "people are just too prude, man." Even the massage industry in the united states is fraught with women being held in what amounts to sexual indentured servitude, and it's worth considering, seriously considering, before visiting one. Proper legislation might alleviate a lot of these issues, but as constructed it's a clusterfuck. And not the fun kind.
This is one of those weird questions for me. Because for a lot of those women in SE Asia and poorer places, they're very close to sexual slavery. But the continued market for that sexual slavery is essentially why they haven't starved to death. The quality of life for the girls in a lot Thai and Bali sexual industries is substantially better than anything they'd have available to them if the sex tourism markets stopped funding those industries. While they're not far away from sexual slavery - they also aren't actually there. I kind of sidestep the personal ethics question by not being inclined to spend money on their services anyway - but I really don't have an answer to the ethical question of how activists / etc should feel about the issue. I mean the obvious ethical answer is to have fair and equitable policing and minimal welfare for everyone, every where, so that nobody is forced into any career as a means of survival. Yay socialism! But since that probably isn't a practical solution to the ethics of the situation at hand in the world that real human beings actually live in, it's not exactly a practical application of ethics. I really don't know if the lesser evil is trying to stop people demanding those services or to ignore it as a lesser evil.
In the state of Victoria, Australia (I don't know about the laws in other states) we have legal brothels that are licensed. Yet at the same time, there is also a relatively small number of prostitutes that work (illegally) on the street (particularly in one or two inner city suburbs) and attract the "gutter crawler" clientele who from what I have read or seen on tv are regularly busted by the police. Go figure.
I've never hired a prostitute and I never will, but the whole idea of not having to go through 30 minutes of foreplay before you throw your sausage in the oven is appealing.
With the second escort I hired, I asked her if she did oral. Her reply was that she does but only if she recieves or that we could go straight to the fucking. Not really a difficult choice to make.
Re: Re: Anal? That'll Cost Ya Extra, Buddy This is actually pretty common in the second hand knowledge of hookers I get from a few friends, both my friends just opt for the straight to fucking option. The class of women they hang out with its hardly a tough decision, who would eat a street walker out in exchange for a blow job? We used to go across the border into Windsor to party when before we turned 21 and it's legal over there, so many sheltered guys would be drunkenly hitting on hot women standing on a corner oblivious to the fact that that all the game in the world wasn't getting them laid but 250 would have did the trick.
... most escorts here charge extra if you want to give them head, and I've never even heard of someone who fucks for money not including giving the client head as part of the deal.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this, was she saying she does oral but only on the receiving end or was she saying she would only give you head if you ate her out first? Both answers would be weird to me, but they have totally different implications.
There are many solid reasons why I haven't paid for sex, and why many might be against it: - The potential for exploitation of people who are already in a difficult situation - providing a heroin addict with income to buy more heroin is not helping anyone involved. Giving a 16 year old runaway a means to start the long, dark spiral downward isn't going to advance your cause to sainthood. - The potential for supporting sexual slavery - this is still a huge problem, and while I guess it can be avoided by sticking to American girls who speak English, I doubt many Johns put that much thought into it. - Disease. Can you get VD from that that sweet girl you met in the library? Of course. But I think you are much more likely to catch something from a woman who has strange dongs stuffed in her 7 days a week. - The potential hit to your reputation. I agree with many others that it should be legal, but it's not. If you have any kind of solid career that depends on the opinion of the general public or others in your company, you don't want to be the guy caught in a sting shown on FOX news. However, the reason that many of you have given here "I need an emotional connection/I need her to want me/I need her to have a good time too" is complete and utter bullshit (for most of you), and immature for all of you. So, you think you had some cosmic connection to every girl you've fucked, do you? You can see inside a woman's head? None of them have faked orgasms, faked interest, faked their feelings for their own reasons, whatever they may be? None of you white knights have had a one night stand? Took home that girl you met at the party for a roll in the sack? I'm sure you formed a deep bond over the jagermeister and Coors light. What a crock of shit. 99.99% of you guys would take an unsolicited blow job or fuck from a cute girl whether she was into you or not, whether she got off or not, whether she even knew your name or not. Christ, most of you sound like pimply faced 16 year olds, hoping against hope that the head cheerleader notices what a great guy you are and leaves the quarterback.
So was it like licking cotton candy or was it more like licking a grilled cheese sammich after you pull the pieces of bread apart?