How honest does she strike you? If you can have a really uncomfortable talk now about her/your feelings on this then it can save a really uncomfortable talk after she gets back and one of you's fucked and the other hasn't, or both of you've fucked but one/both of you are mad about it. Or, y'know, fuck a lot of people, get mad, call her a whore and drink a lot. That could work too.
She's already gone, and I have no way of getting in touch with her until the 3rd or something. Fuck, damn TiB and making me second guess my relationship.
You said it isn't a serious relationship? Even so, she's apparently far less experienced and worldly and it might hurt her a lot if you actually fuck someone else. It sounds to me like she's given you 'permission' to kiss someone at midnight as it were, but with her being a virgin I'd seriously doubt she intends either of you to do anything (much) more.
Here's a good rule of thumb. If you're 24 or under, just fuck everything you can. You'll thank me later when you're in your thirties and married. If you're over 25, why the fuck are you dating a virgin? Or by 'date' do you mean 'babysit?'
This is what should have happened. People would save a lot of grief if they just said, "It occurs to me that what you said could be interpreted in some very different ways, and rather than make an ASSumption, I would like things to be clarified between us." At this point, since you don't have the chance to talk about it until after the fact, your best bet is to assume any or all of the following: she is not hooking up with anyone herself, she is in fact trying to be "too cool," she would be hurt if you hooked up with someone. In other words, suck it up and don't hook up. When she comes back, that's when you talk to her about this and hopefully find out the truth. It seems to me that at best she is extremely immature (the testing or too cool scenario) and at worst she is a self-justifying cheater (not caring if you hook up because she's planning to do it herself scenario). Happy New Year, Grind!
Yeah pretty much if you think there's a chance you could have a real relationship with her then don't hook up with anyone. Especially if she'll be back on the 3rd it's three extra days that you have to wait it out to see her again and sort things out. If not, fuck away.
In my experience, her statement reeks of her guilt for something she's already done, or something she's thinking about doing in the future. In either case, it's never a good sign, and strikes me as a way for her to start offering you an "easy" way out. "Hey, feel free to go try her... and it's totally cool if you like her and want to go be with her..." kind of thing. It could also be that the virgin thing is more uncomfortable for her than it is for you. Do you keep bringing it up? Maybe she realizes that sex is a bigger deal to you than you think it is, and she's uncomfortable with it. Maybe try buying her a pocket rocket, and tell her it's not really having sex if you do it with yourself. That just might up the "what have I been missing out on!?" flood gates for you. Either way, good luck, and keep us entertained... I mean, informed.
I'm having a really hard time figuring out if you're just fucking with us or if you're serious. You seem like an intelligent guy who figure shit out on his own but your posts are throwing me for a loop. Neither of you will be able to fully trust each other after, especially you considering your posts, and that inability to trust each other fully is going to compromise your relationship with each other. Focus: Never cheated and never will - I'm in the same boat as Bluedog. Although, I'm all for things like swinging and group play as long as there is an agreement with the SO and both people are doing the act at the same time but that just falls under the trust thing at that point.
From Grind's history of posting here and on Rudius, I've gathered that all of this intellect completely goes out the window when dealing with anything relationship shit. He goes from funny, mature young professional, to 13 year old who just met the love of his life in his computer keyboard class. "She likes this other guy in class but I just can't get her out of my mind....butbutbutbutbut....she types 60 wpm!!!" No, Grind?
I know Canada's a few years (decades) behind the rest of the world, but I thought they at least had phones.
But we're courteous enough to shut them off when we're hooking up with someone, so she'd never hear it ring anyway.
Well, she's probably getting gang banged right now, so in her defense even if her phone was turned on it would be tough to hear over all those guys.
Come on guys, let's be serious. At the very most she's set her phone on vibrate and is using his constant calls as a masturbatory aid, because Grind just can't please her. And that just made me think of something: "You lost your vibrator? There's an app for that."
I have been the cheater and it was not my proudest moment at all. I was dating a girl in high school for quite awhile and at the end of the year, while I was still in school, she went to a party. Rumors flew around that she had cheated on me, but for months I ignored them and said that there was no way that she had done anything. During that summer I became a full blown alcoholic and she was at Parris Island. I was preparing myself to hit Penn State as the most bad ass freshman drinker of all time. Somewhere around August I started to listen to all of the rumors and started fucking everything that moved. Somehow she never found out when she came home from boot camp. Score one for me. After sometime at college and realizing that I had no business being at a 35,000 student party I returned home to also enlist. This is when I got caught. I was living in her parents house, and sleeping in her bed at the time. My friends decided that it would be a great idea to get shitfaced a few nights before I left. Well that is a great idea unless one of your "friends" is a slut. After a case or so all of my inhibitions went out the window and I decided that fucking this chick in my girlfriend's bed was a great idea. Needless to say I was woken up by her Dad standing over me telling me to get the fuck out of his house. I had to apologize to her Mom and run out with all my worldly possessions in about 5 minutes. It was definitely the most humiliating moment of my life. I have never cheated since and never will. It just isn't worth it. For those of you that are curious, we ended up getting back together and we were married for about 5 years, before years of deployments finally took their toll.
This is not normal. It doesn't even really matter how long you've been with her. She's got issues. Why even have a BF or GF title then? If it is a test, run because that's just totally fucked up. If it is because she's feeling the need to have a tickle with a real pickle, run because it makes no sense for her to even have a BF then, let alone give him permission to fuck another because she's out of town. And why do you have no contact with her? If she's your GF why would you not want to talk to her on NY and be all smooshy gooshy over the phone? It's just weird. And nevermind the fact that you're not getting any from her when she IS in town so what the hell difference does her being out of town make? Back when I was with my asshole ex, who was my first, there was a time he sat me down and told me he knew that since he was my first, curiosity would get the best of me sooner or later and gave me this same permission, which I took him up on. Sure it was all fun and games for me and I only did so with one other guy but near the end, this gave him reasons to turn up the abuse volume. I went from never being enough of this or that to being a cheating whore and the ways he worked out his anger were not pretty and exceeded the ways he had in the past. When it was all over, weeks later he called one of my GF's and asked about me. She told him to lose her number and said, among other things, "You don't whore out the ones you love." And "hook-up" means fuck and leave.
Oh God, what have I done... I wasn't rant or raving about this, it was a mere question. I'm 75% sure that she's just overcompensating for her virginity, and I'm not worried or anything. I can't get in touch with her because she's on a cruise (with family not friends, however). This totally seems like High School drama but I didn't even mean for your jackals to find out to begin with. Currer Bell and Nettdata hit it on the head I think. In either case TiB will be informed, you know almost everything about my personal life anyway. So far I've decided I won't go out looking for other girls, but New Years might prove to be too much. We'll see.
I'm surprised nobody has recomended the practical move yet. Ask to feel her hymen when she gets back. You know, just to make sure it's still there. And if that leads somewhere, that's just a nice little bonus, isn't it?