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Anti-pickup lines

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Harry Coolahan, Aug 9, 2010.

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  1. Elset

    Elset
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    Some hoe was trying to mack on one of my friends one night, and he wanted nothing of it, so he was avoiding her and drinking more.

    She says "When a hot girls wants to make out with you, you do it," or something along those lines.
    He says "Great, I'll let you know when I see one."

    I thought it was hilarious.
     
    #21 Elset, Aug 10, 2010
  2. Nick

    Nick
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    "Get in the truck before I stab your sister."
     
    #22 Nick, Aug 10, 2010
  3. Sleeves

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    The first one reminds me of something that happened to me one night.
    I was at some party and some decent chick came up to me and it went something like this.

    Her: Hey, you look really familiar, have we met?
    Me: Possibly, You've probably seen me around campus somewhere.
    Her: Actually, now that I think about it. You look just like my brother.
    Me: .....Would you fuck your brother?.....

    Being drunk I thought I should just be outright and let a bitch know
     
    #23 Sleeves, Aug 10, 2010
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    "You wanna see a dead body?"

    "I own nylon ropes. They don't chaffe the heels."

    (pointing) "Have this sterilyzed and brought to my room!"

    "I want to chew your hair."

    "I'll bet I kiss better than your daddy!"

    "God says be fruitful and multiply....wait, I just came. Later"
     
    #24 Crown Royal, Aug 10, 2010
  5. Muley05

    Muley05
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    If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
     
    #25 Muley05, Aug 10, 2010
  6. Bourbondownthehouse

    Bourbondownthehouse
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    "Bet I can guess your weight, just sit on my face and I'll tell you."
     
    #26 Bourbondownthehouse, Aug 10, 2010
  7. Frebis

    Frebis
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    "Do you have rape fantasies?" Oddly enough, when I was setting up a profile on okcupid a while back, that was one of the questions it asked me.
     
    #27 Frebis, Aug 10, 2010
  8. Durbanite

    Durbanite
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    Eeyore

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    All I need to do is walk up to the bar. That's it. I don't even have to say anything.
     
    #28 Durbanite, Aug 10, 2010
  9. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    "Are you going to walk to your car by yourself later? I'm just going to be over there watching you all night" (I know it's Dane Cook, but it works.

    "You have nice eyes. They'd look real good in a jar on my shelf"
     
    #29 lostalldoubt86, Aug 10, 2010
  10. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I've gotten this one in so many words before...more than once...

    Sigh.
     
    #30 audreymonroe, Aug 10, 2010
  11. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
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    Walk up behind her, put your hands on her waist, and whisper this in her ear:
    "I want to fertilize your eggs. Now."
     
    #31 Danger Boy, Aug 10, 2010
  12. LessTalk MoreStab

    LessTalk MoreStab
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    Your pretty, you remind me of my dad.
     
    #32 LessTalk MoreStab, Aug 10, 2010
  13. SMUGolfer

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    "Can I smell your pussy?"
    "No?"
    "Must be your feet then"
     
    #33 SMUGolfer, Aug 11, 2010
  14. Disgustipated

    Disgustipated
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    I really admire, and have a lot of respect for, a girl with a face like yours who is willing to show it in public.

    Wow! You must have rolled an 18 for charisma! (unless used at ComiCon).

    I just love the way the mirror ball sets off the hair on your upper lip.
     
    #34 Disgustipated, Aug 11, 2010
  15. Stealth

    Stealth
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    Hey baby, you might be 200 pounds of sexual dynamite but I don't want to light your fuse.
     
    #35 Stealth, Aug 11, 2010
  16. dixiebandit69

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    "Do you have colon cancer? Because that ass is killer!"

    Here's one that one of my friends came up with:

    "Hello maam. First off, I want to let you know that I plan to rape you. Now you can call the cops right now, and I'll go to jail for awhile, and I'll probably be someone's bitch. But during that time, I'm just going to become bitter, start working out and bulking up, and by the time I get out, I'll just come back and there will be no way you can stop me. So why don't we just get all the trouble and formalities out of the way and fuck?"
     
    #36 dixiebandit69, Aug 11, 2010
  17. Politik

    Politik
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    "Hey baby, I have 300 rep points on an anonymous internet message board..."
     
    #37 Politik, Aug 11, 2010
  18. Viking33

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    No you don't...
     
    #38 Viking33, Aug 11, 2010
  19. gnowee

    gnowee
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    [​IMG]
     
    #39 gnowee, Aug 11, 2010
  20. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James
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    You're looking at a man that thinks domestic violence is sexy.

    When do we get to the part where I donkey punch you and yell I have AIDS?
     
    #40 Jimmy James, Aug 11, 2010
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