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But Seriously...

Discussion in 'Permanent Threads' started by Juice, Jun 19, 2015.

  1. Juice

    Juice
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    We didn’t even get any extra territory like an actual empire either. Oh sorry, we got Guam. Lame.
     
  2. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    You guys owned Panama from 1983 to 1988. Noriega was one of yours.
     
  3. SouthernIdiot

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    I hear Canada has oil. You might want to pipe down before decide to do manifest destiny to the North this time. We will wreck your healthcare yo.
     
  4. Nettdata

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    You would be invading a country of toques, maple syrup, and hockey sticks.

    You would lose.

    “WOLVERINE!!!!!”

    Oh.. wait… that’s already taken.

    “BEAVER!!!!!!”
     
  5. SouthernIdiot

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    Probably, but we'll make you miserable for a good 20 years or so. Canada's close so maybe longer.
     
  6. Crown Royal

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    Choosing a fifty-pound water rat as our national animal is one of the greatest embarrassments of all. We had endless badass, killer animals to choose from— hell, our country has more bald eagles than the United States does. That animal only knows how to look angry and awesome.

    We chose an animal that became the most quoted of all Naked Gun jokes.
     
  7. Juice

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    Bunch of degens from upcountry.
     
  8. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    You're just jealous that you weren't invited to my last super soft party.
     
  9. Revengeofthenerds

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    to be fair, a bald eagle is basically a vulture with a good PR agent. Our national animal is a pretty dumpster with wings.... actually, that kinda makes sense now that I think about it.
     
  10. Crown Royal

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    They eat fish up here. What the fuck do you feed them?
     
  11. Crown Royal

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    They’re fucking ten-ply, Bud.
     
  12. Misanthropic

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    Eagles like fish but they’ll eat just about anything. They’ll gather around dumpsters, like vultures, crows or seagulls, and eat whatever gets thrown out.
     
  13. Fiveslide

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    The osprey is a real badass, it actually hunts. I see the osprey carrying fresh, wriggling fish all the time. I just see eagles around here scaring off the other carrion birds to get fish killed by fisherman or something.
     
  14. SouthernIdiot

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    We damn near chose the Turkey. Those things are really stupid.
     
  15. toytoy88

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    They are dumb, but you really don't want to deal with a pissed off turkey. It would've been perfect.
     
  16. Rush-O-Matic

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    Are you talking about white, domesticated turkeys? Maybe.

    And, I can't speak personally about the Osceola, Mirriam, or Rio Grande, but the Eastern Turkey is most definitely not stupid.
     
  17. dixiebandit69

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    I still say to this day that we should have chosen the Rattlesnake as our national animal; it was on the Gadsden Flag, after all, and you don't want to fuck with them.

    On that same note, I think that the Western Diamondback should be the state reptile of Texas, but I'm not going to try to overturn the horny-toad's status.

    To the Canadians: Up until a few years ago (about 2013), I thought the Moose was your national animal.
    What went wrong? Bears, wolves, bison, wolverines, moose, and y'all chose the beaver?
     
  18. Crown Royal

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    Delaware’s state animal is (I think) a chicken. To add to that state’s notoriously zany appeal.


    I always thought the state animal of Texas was an executed retarded guy. Some dude named “Carl” who lost his virginity by fucking a hooker to death.
     
  19. Misanthropic

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    The beaver is a major reason why Canada exists, and the reason why a big chunk of Canada speaks French. The primary natural resource of the Canadian territories was furs - mink, ermine, fox, but especially beaver. Eventually things like lumber became huge, but the beaver started it all. The moose knuckle came much later.
     
  20. SouthernIdiot

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    Oh, so just the white turkeys are dumb? Racist!

    All domestic turkeys are really stupid. If wild turkeys are smart then maybe we selected for it inadvertently during domestication.