There is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is a difference between, "Hey, let me help you out," and, "Oh let me get that for you, there is no way someone like you could not be struggling with that." Although I am sure I get extra annoyed because I enjoy lifting, and I hate having muscles if I never get the chance to use them.
I also enjoy showing off my ability to lift heavy objects. Although, now that I've done it in front of my hiking group, I can't just sit around and watch the men knock down trees, I have to help. (Don't ask why we need to knock down trees in the forest. It's partly because they are dead and we want to move the life cycle of a tree along and also because of our genetic destructive nature.)
Eh, this pay for dates topic has been done to death. Basically, I get the whole "whoever asks, pays" thing when it comes to dates. But let's be honest. The man asks 95% of the time. It's a social norm. So you're really of the philosophy "the man pays." I've paid for meals before simply because I had a job and the girl did not, so naturally I paid. Also, price was a factor so I just offered to pay before going out. But eh, would I be emasculated if a girl paid for herself, or half, or whatever? No, I would not be emasculated. Unlike many males (I'm looking at you, Baby Boomers), my masculine identity is not teetering on the fucking brink of reality, where the slightest indication or reflection that I'm not king-Dong alpha-male Gorilla shit would cause my nuts to instantly shrivel up and transform me into a full-fledged panty-wearing transsexual. No, I have a bit more security in myself than that. I know, I know. Guys have some primal urge to be the great protector and provider. But whatever. Some girls want you to pay; some want to pay for themselves. I'm of the opinion that twenty dollars for a meal (or accepting her twenty) is certainly a fair price for a helping of shut-the-fuck-up I don't care about who pays and what that symbolically implies.
The BBQ place here has a $9 buffet. ALL YOU CAN EAT!!!! I have discovered in the past few years that if I make enough money, I don't give a damn about paying for dates all the time.
Kind of reminds me of when we pick up a girl at the gym as the 10th player because we're short a man and have no excuse to deny female participation, and she insists on jacking up jump shots like she's Antoine Walker from the early 2000s because she just can't sit around and watch men knock down shots and has to "help." Predictable results ensue. Hey sweetheart, you're pretty good for a girl and all, but let's let the men take care of business as we're already playing 4 on 5 as it is.
Oh my! I had no idea that I was making anyone look bad. I thought they did that to themselves? My jellies suck, to be perfectly honest. We use honey, my honey is the bees knees. Srsly, we are all capable of doing a great many things to help our family, I'll say it again.