Can you pay my bills?

Focus: in a fucking heartbeat. I could monetize my hobbies and do work that actually requires some brainpower, rather than wrangle paperwork all day. I would feel compelled to earn something just because my pride would object to not contributing financially, but that is manageable if you have marketable talents. Plus, I loathe 90% of TV, so that gives me an advantage over a sizeable portion of the population anyway.

However...

I think the topic of kids has been glossed over a bit. Kids change the picture dramatically. I don't have kids, but I babysit my nephew on occasion. He can't even walk yet, but I swear to God after an hour with him I am beyond exhausted. Keeping a kid occupied requires significant mental and physical effort - just following him around the house making sure he doesn't ram a wall/slam a cupboard door/haul himself halfway up a lounge and fall backwards is tiring; having to keep him constantly occupied with an ever-changing series of activities is nightmarish, and after the 100th distraction fails I can feel the manic desperation setting in. Doing just about anything is nigh on impossible - cooking a meal becomes a herculean feat when you can't dedicate a solid 2 minutes to chopping meat, because the bub has taken off on a tear around a corner and might hurt himself, or is screaming because he doesn't want to sit in his high chair. I love my nephew, but the feeling of relief and liberation when my brother picks him up is astonishing. And I am doing all of this on my full sleep regimen, not a few snatched moments per night as the parents actually get. (As an aside - I honestly don't know how single parents do this. My brother and his wife have the full resources of two families behind him, and jesus christ is it ever still a taxing job. I actually think dressing up in a bear suit for a date with the Drano would look appealing if I had to raise a kid by myself with no support).

After amusing the bub, I typically pick up a mindless book or watch a B-grade movie. Rarely do I feel like putting my heart and soul into achieving whatever my own personal dreams are. In my opinion, raising a kid is a shitton harder than my office job. I was actually talking to the principal investment manager for a venture capital company about this the other day. This guy makes the ultimate decisions regarding the $80million fund he operates. He has two little kids, 1 and 2. He was telling me that this is the first time in his life where he can't wait to get to work on Monday morning - to relax.

So, I'd be going the stealth snip before I ever agreed to be a househusband.

 

I feel like I'm in an IMAX theater you're projecting so hard. I didn't say it was easy, I didn't say people who do it are stupid, in fact I compared it to a very time consuming and difficult skill. My point was that all this complaining about how it's not treated like a real job is disingenuous because it's not a real job. A job is where you sell your time and effort and knowledge. Housemaking/childrearing is something you do entirely for yourself (first person to type "I do it for my children" gets banned). It was more addressing the mentality of "I cook, I clean, I drive my kids to soccer practice, I run errands, where's my salary?" because the fruits of those labors are enjoyed solely by you and your family. That is your salary.

 

This is where one displays their real values. Someone who values what a relationship brings can appreciate children. They are without a doubt a real challenge. You never know what they are going to do, say, think, or feel. You are responsible for teaching them to be some ideal of a man (or woman), to be a functioning and hopefully, contributing member of society.


And to echo Nettdata, who gives a fuck what an outsider may think of my family's organization? I am happy, my man is happy and my kids are happy. Who actually wants to fit into some cookie cutter existance some ass-tard created to justify their own path?

 

Even if only one member of a married couple has a career and the other stays at home, you are both contributing to the economy by spending that money. Correct me if I'm wrong (no. Seriously. If I'm completely wrong, let me know.) but isn't one of the responsibilities of being the one who stays at home making the household purchases? You do the grocery shopping, decide when something needs to be fixed or replaced, and I'm pretty sure it is the responsibility of both people to get the bills payed on time.

I believe this is especially true when you have kids. The one who stays home is in charge of doctor's appointments, clothes shopping because kids are always growing out of stuff, making sure everyone is ready for the first day of school, paying for the extra-curricular activities your kids are a part of, etc.

The person making the money is not the only one contributing to the economy.

 

I hate Paul Krugman.

 

Just for a moment, assume that the person spending the money but not making any, was hit by a bus. What's the ecconomic impact?

There is an argument that to replace a full time stay at home mother, you'd have to pay a fairly spectacular bucket of money. A full time nanny/cook/house cleaner/tutor staff would cost a fortune. And there are arguments to count stay at home moms in the GDP for various reasons. But if your economic contribution is spending someone else's money, and in the event of your being hit by a bus is that the same money would be spent on the same things, but there'd be a maid's wages or some more stress on the part of the breadwinner when they have to work a few extra hours to get everything done - then you're not actually contributing to the economy. You're reducing the time required for your partner to contribute to the economy.

And the thing is, I respect stay at home parents with children who aren't in school, and on school holidays. That's not an easy job at all.

But a stay at home spouse without kids? Unless you're also a domestic abuse victim, all the 'it's harder than you think' claims are a stretch. I mean I totally understand that it would be awful to be domestically abused by your partner - and I am genuinely incredibly sympathetic toward people who have been through or are going through that. But cooking and cleaning an average house for two adults is a couple of hours a day for the place to be immaculate. If you have a dish washing machine and moderate standards? an hour a day will cover it.

If you have a hard time being isolated and entertaining yourself when you're alone, I can see where problems might come up - but as someone who doesn't have problems in those directions? It sounds pretty fucking close to my personal nirvana.

 

I haven't read into too much from pages 5-9 in this thread but I fucking love this video. I have hot female friend who buys into all this shit. Guys pay for dates, guys make all the moves, "What? I'm supposed to call him? That's not how it is...that's now how it works..." She talks about all the guys she's dating and asks me why I don't have a full rotation of dates (not booty calls, because I'm an asshole if I do that). I explain to her its $40-$50 a night to hang out with girls who think guys should be paying anything and my constant buzzphrase is ROI as someone mentioned at the beginning. I complain that girls should be taking me out once in awhile (my mom tells me I'm special, so I'm worth it) and she looks at like I'm crazy. "You want to hang out with them, you should pay, for the first 3 months or so anyway..."

My fun questions that always gets her to change the subject is..."What am I paying for exactly? What am I actually investing in here???" I love that line of questioning, because it only leads to one place.

Once again, I love this girl's video. I don't want to watch anymore of her stuff because she might say something else stupid and ruin this one, but that was 6 minutes of greatness.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.............

Oh, honey. You were serious?

Look, I'm fully aware that my previous stay-at-home living situation (sans kids, just in case everyone was curious) was not healthy. I'd even go so far as to say that it was borderline domestic abuse as far as unreasonable expectations and financial manipulation went. But an hour per day? No.

Groceries (once per week) ~ 2-3 hours.
Laundry (once per week) ~ 3-4 hours.
Ironing (once per week) ~ 2-3 hours.
Cleaning (every day, every room) ~ 3 hours, depending on your home size and general level of filth.
Cooking (every day, once to twice per day) ~ 2-3 hours, depending on meal type/size/level of complexity.
Errands (dry cleaning, purchasing household sundries, car maintenance, etc.) hopefully only 3 times per week ~ 3-4 hours, depending on your list size/traffic.
Yard work (daily) ~ 2-3 hours, depending on season. 4+ if you have a larger lot.

And don't get me started on the massive timesuck that "household projects" take up.

If you're doing it correctly, you're fucking busy. Even sans kids.

 

"They say a woman's work is never done... maybe if they got themselves organized they'd do better" ~ Jimmy Carr

 

I've got it! All we need to do is re-introduce slavery! That way, when you sell the kids off, you are essentially getting paid for the time invested in raising them. Finally, a way to ensure that raising kids is afforded equal respect with paying positions.

I'll just await my Nobel prize over here...

 

Do you have no electricity and wash your clothes in a nearby creek?

 

If you figure that she lives in the Winchester Mansion and that her boyfriend/fiancee/husband/whatever is Lee Majors, then the numbers start making sense.

 

I think this is very generous in terms of how much time it takes. Even taking the time at face value things can be worked on simultaneously landry and Ironing can easily overlap as can Groceries and Errands. 2 hours to by groceries is possible, but if you make a list and go to the same store where you know the layout it shouldn't take all that long. If you're cleaning everyday (assuming your SO isn't actively destroying your efforts, and you don't live in a 40 room house) 3 hours is overblown. Daily yard work will not take 2-3 hours, grass and plants can only grow so fast and only so many leaves can fall. I'm not saying that being a stay at home spouse without kids is a cakewalk or anything, but its certainly not that taxing. I live with 3 roommates and we keep our house to a standard that our mothers deem more than acceptable and combined we don't spend that much time maintaining our house. Work smarter, not harder.

 

Pinkcup accounts for errands the way I account for foreplay.

 

Hey, I'm sure the women appreciate the extra time and effort.

 

I spend 2-3 hours every day cleaning every room of the vagina.

 

But really, the ironing is where the true value added is.