You guys who keep denigrating the ardor of life as a housewife are insensitive, chauvinistic assholes; you fail to appreciate how much time and effort goes into gossiping with other housewives, watching soap operas, and getting manicures and pedicures. Just because it isn't a job per se doesn't make it a creampuff lifestyle.
It's called the interwebs, it delivers to your house and you can save a base basket with the bigger online grocery stores so that you just order the same basic crap every week. Are you counting the time you spend watching TV waiting for the load to complete? Doing a weeks worth of laundry involves 3 minutes away from the internet while you load the first load, then half an hour later, 6 minutes while you put in the next load and hang that one out. A weeks worth of work, gym and going out clothes, towels and sheets is less than half an hour away from drinking beer infront of the television over the course of an evening. If I wanted to use the dryer it'd be even less. People still fucking iron? You know you can buy really nice no ironing required versions of almost everything now for about $3 more? And if you do actually need to iron something, as long as you hang it up to dry properly first, it's about 90 seconds an item? If you have six kids, a couple of newfoundland retrievers, and live in the swamp next to a landfill, maybe. Maybe. But if you're a pair of adults living in a normal house and you aren't insanely fussy? It's not that fucking hard. What the fuck are you doing that requires 3 hours a day to clean up after? Maybe you should put down a drop sheet before the mud wrestling. Are you cooking a three course meal? Are you baking a desert from scratch? Are you slaughtering your own goats? It takes half an hour to cook a decent meal for two people. It takes an hour of active time to cook a nice meal for two people. Fine, that won't include baking a pie from scratch - but if your partner is out earning you enough to justify you being a kept woman, go crazy and splurge on a pre-made pie for desert instead of making the pastry yourself. Drop the dry cleaning off somewhere and pick them up, order the household sundries from the intarwebs with your groceries - grand total 20 minutes. Car maintenance if that's more than 40 minutes, and more than once a quarter - are you changing the oil yourself? If you can afford a kept woman, you can afford a mechanic to do that for her. Seriously? What the fuck do you do in your yard that takes four hours a day? By larger lot do you mean 1300 acre ranch? For the love of god, get an apartment, or give up on the hedge maze. If your garden takes more than an hour a week to maintain, and gardening isn't your passion - you're doing it fucking wrong. Are you sure that you don't just suck at being a housewife? You know most people manage to do all this stuff around a full time job right?
You'd be amazed how much longer it takes to do domestic work when you have a martini in your hand. Seriously though, for the time consumption on a stay at home spouse with no kids, it does take that long to do stuff like that because they are looking for ways to fill their day and justify not having a schedule. I know it because I did it one summer in college, my mom does it now that I'm out of the house and my GF did it when she first moved in after graduating. The house didn't turn into a disaster when she started working full time, the same amount (if not more) shit gets done in less than half the time because she doesn't need domestic duties to soak up her time anymore. Still, her overestimation on how long that stuff takes pale in comparison to what some estimate doing the finances takes. And I'm not just saying here, I asked a couple friends about it and they view doing the finances as a legitimate task. Mind = blown. Edit: just an FYI for some of you that take a lot of time with bills, Quicken is pretty good for taking care of that. It's probably a good investment if you don't like doing spreadsheets.
The cooking is spot on depending on what you're cooking, but I multitask, so this goes hand in hand with my cleaning/laundry. What exactly are you doing that groceries takes up that much time? Are you buying shit perfectly fresh each and every week? How many people are you buying for? On my end I take no more than ONE hour every two weeks to go grocery shopping to feed two/three people and spend no more than $100 a month. We STILL eat like kings.
I'm not saying all housewives are like this, but I do know a few (we were friends in high school) who harp about how challenging and busy the life of a mom/housewife is, yet they're updating their facebook statuses on the hour and playing farmville. Shocking.
In Pinkcup's defense, I know what's going on here. Whether due to pressure from the working partner or the stay-at-home partner themselves, what Pink's describing is the stay-at-home partner taking this long with these kind of chores because they have no other responsiblities. Sure, it only takes 30-45 minutes to get some groceries from the store if I just run in and out, but if I took the time to scour for coupons and deals, then went to several different stores to get the best prices, then yes that would take a couple of hours. So why not? Mr./Ms. Stay-at-home has plenty of free time, so get to it. Cleaning? Make sure you're on your hands and knees scrubbing out those tiny stains on the floor you can barely notice, even though the time vs. reward for your effort is questionable. You don't have a job or kids, so what else do you have to? That goes for the rest of the stuff on that list as well.
I have holy shit it's bad ADD and I still get shit done for one man and two kids more efficiently. What slows me down is actually the kids, I am attempting to teach them how to do things like clean their bedroom/ bathroom, sort their laundry, etc. I'm really just trying to get them selfsufficient so I quit fucking up my manicure doing things for them. I also aim for them to be doing all of thier own laundry by ten years old, I want to know nothing about my boys' wet dreams. Seriously, I take the kids to the store and that alone makes it an eternal trip. However, my kids know how to look at an ingredient list of a product they want, read "high fructose corn syrup" and put it back. They are starting to understand the value of a dollar, they compare prices. My kids are nearly five and six. I know adults who can't do this. I am starting them young, I want them to know how to make good decisions and we have this starting place. Not all parents watch television all day, update fb every twenty minutes, etc. Some of us work very hard to bring up smart little boys and girls. You know, the ones who choose my nursing home.
Do people think that all of these tasks magically disappear if you are working a full time job? You still have to clean the house, tend to the yard, do the laundry. Maybe the only difference if that you have reason to split it with your husband or boyfriend if you are both working. But I'll echo what a couple of others have said, you do become much more efficient if you are short on time, and your priorities change so that the standard for what is clean may drop a notch or two. Plus I think that the not having to work against deadlines can work against you in some way. My Sister in Law doesn't work, no kids, yet she somehow can never manage to be on time because she is "so busy". Infuriates the rest of us who end up waiting for her every time we get together. The rest of us can manage to make it for a 12:00 lunch at 12:00 (and most likely have to be back at work by 1:00), so why do you always insist on showing up at 12:30? If you have a previous commitment, how about a heads up that maybe you will be late so go ahead and order without you so we can all go about our day. Nope, and not so much as an acknowledgement that she is holding us up. Our theory is that she doesn't have much of a concept of time since all her time is basically her own. Yeah, I have issues with her. As a disclaimer, with any of my comments in this thread, I am in no way referring to people who have children, that is a new thing all together.
About the grocery shopping: First of all, if you do it online, you're leaving savings on the table. Full stop. Not only is Fresh Direct (and similar services) more expensive, you have to add in tipping and such. Every store has in-store savings, and most people like to be able to touch their produce. In fact, you should probably be going to a couple different places if you want the best groceries for the best price. I personally can't make a list until I see the sales circular for all the area stores, so yeah, it could take awhile. You probably don't have to go every week, but you people claiming that you can just input a bunch of stuff into the computer probably aren't trying to shop as cost-effectively as possible. (Which is fine, obviously. I just get a buzz off cost-effective shopping. It's not even about the money, which I promptly waste in a bunch of other ways). Cooking...I guess if you have to let things marinate/rise/leaven etc. If you're making a lot of your own breads and desserts, it adds up. Sure you can whip up some sort of dinner in half an hour, but if you're making multiple meals per day (you have to eat even when you're alone!), and people want fancy stuff/dessert, it can take awhile. Some of the other time budgets seem high to me though. If it were me, I'd just hang out in one room mostly, then I wouldn't have to clean everything so often.
Conversely, you can usually get much better deals and save a lot of time shopping online for day to day stuff like toothpaste and shampoo. This is especially good for me since I'm picky and only Whole Foods carries the brands I want, and of course the mark up the shit out of everything.
This is where I was trying to be vague, because it sucks admitting that you've been in a less-than-healthy relationship and it's hard to look that shit in the face...even years later. But here's the deal: If you're at home, doing housework, with no kids...the prevailing thought with some men is that since you have all damn day to do these tasks, they need to be done to perfection. Sure, I can go grocery shopping for myself in 20 minutes. I can go weeks without touching my kitchen disposal with a scrub brush. In fact, when I'm living alone or even with someone and I'm employed outside the home, my baseboards and ceiling fans will go undusted for months. I never even pulled the oven away from the wall in my last apartment to clean behind/underneath because...well, I was too fucking busy with my own life. Forget shopping around for coupons- sometimes I don't have time for more than a quick trip to CVS, so unless I hustle my ass in and out of the store I'll be using shampoo for bodywash this week. But when you aren't employed outside the home, the unspoken rule is that you'd better be excelling at tasks that an employed person can do in their spare time/off hours. This doesn't mean doing them more quickly, either. If Employed Man X can go grocery shopping in 20 minutes and purchase food and sundries for X amount, you need to be doing it better than he can in order to justify your occupation to the person footing your lifestyle.* So Unemployed Person Y needs to be better by purchasing those same goods for a lesser price. This could mean couponing, price comparison at different stores, or planning your purchases around in-store sales. You also probably need to purchase superior quality sundries/groceries for a lesser cost, too...just to drive the point home that increased time spent on these tasks= superior quality. Employed Man X can probably whip up his own supper in 20 minutes, maybe even an hour. So you've got to be better- it's got to be healthier, more complex, and more labor-intensive than what he could do. Same thing with cleaning- hell, everyone can run a fucking vacuum and a dustrag. You'd better be spit-shining the closet doorknobs, though. [I'll fully admit that my food purchasing/cooking decisions involve more thought than most people are willing to invest in something so "simple" as food. But buying from local, organic sources and/or markets that support sustainable agriculture take longer than a 20 minute drive to Publix. I also grow a lot of my own produce, which takes time and effort to cultivate (especially during winter months). I'm also probably the only person on this board who makes her own bread/sauces/spice mixes/jam from scratch. But these things are important to me and also to the men I date.] *I recognize that not all men need their stay-at-home partner to constantly justify her occupation by repeatedly proving the superiority of her task-completing skills. But, to bring this around to the focus, this is a common dynamic. Like, really fucking common. The only sure-fire, proven way to avoid finding yourself in the middle of this type of dynamic is to keep some type of employment...even part-time, menial work.
I make most of these items myself as well, I am rather compulsive about it. I do not currently have a garden, which makes me resentful in any produce department. That is just part of cooking for me. Some people just grab a jar of sauce and throw it on noodles, if that works for their needs, good for them. Really, keeping house is individual to every couple's standards and needs.
Or y'know, transfer all the hardwork you put into cleaning into blowjobbing. Being a housewife is not a job, but a blowjob is. Says so right in the name.
I stand corrected. PIMPTRESS is a motherfucking Superwoman (and I'll bet your active yeast never just dies on you for no reason, right? God, quit making the rest of us look bad!) and her homemade jellies bring all the boys to her yard. EDIT: I've seen this mentioned several times on this thread. What, pray tell, makes you think that I'm not spending enough time giving blowjobs? Not. The. Case. If you know of a man that's willing to hire a cleaning/yard/cooking crew and then support my stay-at-home lifestyle for nothing more than a handful of daily blowjobs, PM me his number. Srsly.
Now if you're willing to spread the blowjob wealth a little bit, Pepper Jack just might have a little business venture to discuss with you...
Pretty much any guy I know will let just about every domestic duty slide if he is having an adequate amount of sex in his relationship. Just saying. Also, I resent the "only person who does home made food" thing. On top of bread/sauces/spice mixes (haven't done jam yet) we make our own beer, wine and cleaning products.