I realize it's kind of "Well, duh" after the fact and no one does it intentionally....but one can also do one's best to not date that sort of person. Obviously it's not foolproof, since assholes rarely come branded like cattle and we all do silly things for the sake of relationships. But "Don't date dicks" is a solid rule of thumb.
Yeah, I think it's one of those "correlation without causation" moments. I know you're probably scarred for life from this dickwad and how he treated you, but all guys aren't like that and the stuff that you were doing at home wasn't worthless. The guy was worthless. Don't let his actions define you for the rest of your life.
Now, I agree with you. Then, I would have told you that perfect isn't good enough. The Guy and I both work hard at our jobs and work hard at making each other happy. It's working out. The mentality one maintains when in a relationship, making sure that it's a relationship and no party feels isolated is a big deal. No. Shit. Before I left my ex, I made sure I had a job, so I could have work history so I could buy my own car. I got a job at my 'hobby', and spent 8 mos building up a work history so I could buy a car, that way I would have something to drive when I was gone. It was also a way for me to build up credit history so I could rent when I finally left. Despite that, I still had a problem getting an apartment, and my credit, because I was a SAHM for ages, was non-existent. You're pretty much relinquishing a LOT of control in your life and what you can do if it goes wrong.
A lot of that has to do with how you set up your accounts. If it is all in his name then of course that can turn out badly. I think if both people are participating in growing your credit through purchases and payments, both need their name on it. And after the possible split, they share that history.
Of course it is. But when one partner controls the accounts, and is the only person with access to those accounts (as it was in my case...even the utilities were in his name. The house, his car, all of it. HIS name. I literally had NO credit anything...), you're letting a LOT go. But even if you have credit history going because of shared accounts, convincing someone to hire you when you're 5 to 8 years out of the workforce, or more, is VERY - nothing short of exceptionally, really - difficult to convince someone to hire you for anything more than a shitty job. It sucks, and it is hard, and I was goddamn lucky.
I am sure you will be delighted to hear that you need not an absolute advantage in home-related chores for you and your employed significant other to be better off (<a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparative_Advantage" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparative_Advantage</a>).
Dude, I gotta ask, did you just take your first econ class and fall in love with the theories? Between this and your post about teachers a while back (not a stalker, just remembered the post having the exact same tone, laughed when I found I was right that it was the same person) you sound like someone who never thought about the concept of opportunity cost until your first micro class and was as excited as a chimp that just found his dick to trumpet the discovery.
In all fairness, I remember how thrilled I was when I first read about opportunity costs and thought about how it applied to all sorts of things. But then, I was a CJ major in undergrad and didn't run into the concept until my Antitrust class in law school so maybe it's less revelatory to other people. But for me, it was awesome to have explained and, in turn, I find myself constantly explaining it to people around me who've never run into it before. Now off to fly a plane while dying of radiation sickness.
I could only wish I were still in senior year of HS/undergrad. I have a penchant for random finance/econ allusions/analogies/jokes. Nostalgia perhaps. This thread may be finally dying a slow death. We've went from girls admitting their hypocrisy when it comes to feminism/chivalry in dating to a brief review of my posting habits.
Actually, I'm not trying to lay into him for being dumb or anything. Know why I was able to pin down the mentality so (in my opinion) well? Because that was me about 10 years ago.
In the spirit of this thread: Just helped my roommate load up her moving van because we're moving out today, but apparently because a couple times she was struggling loading something and I didn't jump to help her quickly enough (because I was talking with my friend who stopped by) I was "being a bit of a bitch" about helping her.
My breads take at least 2.5 hours to make between proofing and final product and understand the pain in the ass process involved*. Invest some time in looking at coops or places which buy foods in a large quantity. This saves a TON of time. I'm a member of the local organic community garden and it works out well for me. You may want to check your local one out. Home made red sauce FTW. I can't comment on jam as I don't want to start doing this until I get my own pressure canner. For what it's worth it sounds like you just picked a douchebag to get involved with. At least you've moved on and learned. *I'm experimenting with creating my own starter for sourdough breads, so I imagine more pain in the ass process is going to be involved.
She probably said that because you're a bit of a bitch. To be honest though, I think it is pretty annoying when guys try to take shit out of your hands when you're carrying something. Not every girl is a wilting flower.
The fuck ever...I'm carrying something and someone wants to give me a hand, GO for it. I appreciate it. I'd do the same for that person, regardless of gender. Seriously, what's wrong with just...being...nice to one another? Somewhat related to the thread, though off the subject of relationships, my friends and I DO NOT have an issue helping each other out, trading off buying drinks or dinner, or whatever. Old people come into the diner The Guy and I frequent for breakfast, and both of us will hold doors for them. Not to condescend, but to be nice. There's nothing more to that, just being nice. Now, take that for granted? Let some skank bitch walk through a door my boyfriend is holding and not say "Thanks", even in passing? Unacceptable. Being nice is good, so is expressing gratitude. A simple "thank you" goes a long way toward good will.
Only tangentially related story that made me really pissed at the time: The other day, I went to go see a movie with my parents. On the way out, we hold three separate doors for two little old ladies. Guess how many of us they thanked? Those old farts who say things like "Our generation was so much nicer/more polite" can lick my asshole.