Lady Gaga is so hideous she could make a strap-on go limp. There is NOTHING.... NOTHING attractive about her. Her face could stop a clock, she has a refund gap between her tits you could dock a yacht in, and her skin has the tone of a crack addict under K-MArt flourescent lights. YEEECH. That Taylor guy from Twilight looks like his face was crushed like a ball of loose tinfoil by a giant hand. Ladies, he's creepy looking and you know it. However, I loved him as one of the villains in Dick Tracy. Kirsten Dunst has a face that looks like she was stuck in a really embarrassing point in evolution. Her whole head looks like a rotten plum you found under the fridge 3 weeks later. I'm not big at all on Anna Paquin (though her frame is rockin'), which is a mortal sin on this board. I'm really sorry, but when she smiles she looks like a vending machine. Everyone on the Hills: Lauren is just a low-rent Carmen Electra imposter, Audrina looks like she has Down Syndrome with bolt-on tits and eyelids that weigh 80 pounds each, the other blonde chick (the plastic surgery addict) is utterly disgusting in every single way. Brody Jenner has his name tattooed on his body so he automatically sucks at life, and Spencer is an ugly, round little fuck that I honestly would kill with my own bare hands. Fuck them all. Attractive meter: Zero.
Fergie? Really? She looks like a man. I dated a dude who thought she was hot. It made me reevaluate the relationship. We broke up 2 weeks later.
I never got the Anna Paquin lust either. I'd be happy as a pig in shit if I was fucking her, but she's not anyone I'd fantasize about. And Spencer...wow, I think the phrase "shit eating grin" was invented with him in mind. But, I actually like Lady Gaga more just for her ability to polish the shit out of that turd.
I know I'm going to catch shit for this, but: Taylor Swift On our honeymoon, the wife and I ran into her while she was walking out of a restaurant at the Atlantis resort. She was there doing a concert. This personal encounter only reaffirmed the fact that her looks absolutely bug the shit out of me. (Though I'm great friends with a lady who's daughter won some award thing where she got to spend like half a day with Swift, and she said Taylor swift is extremely nice. Doesn't take away from the fact I can't stand to look at her.... I think it's her eyes. They're almost annoying.)
Focus: Megan Fox (no picture, all of you know what she looks like) does nothing for me. I can appreciate that she looks aesthetically good because everything looks symmetrical but the aspect that really floats my boat is personality. A few years ago I finally got it into my head to stop pining after painfully hot girls with crappy personalities. Megan Fox embodies this archetype. I remember reading something on some celebrity blog said she called Michael Bay a "tyrant" when he booked a cast sightseeing tour during some off time while Transformers 2 was filming. That strikes me as ungrateful, ignorant, and downright bitchy. Anti-Focus: Kat Dennings Spoiler Maybe it's in my blood but I have something for alt-looking heeb girls.
All of the male celebrities I like are pretty uncontroversial. The ones I don't get are Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Justin Bieber but, then again, I'm not 13. To jump in on the Megan Fox thing, I'm one of 3 girls in the world who actually really like her. She's not that great of an actress (obviously), but I think she's hot (except for her toe thumbs) and every time I read an interview I think she's cooler. I think she'd be awesome to hang out with.
FOCUS: Julia Roberts Just doesn't do it for me. I think it's the giant mouth. Actually scratch that, it is the giant fucking manhole on the front of her head that causes my hard-on to shrink like a frightened turtle. ALT. FOCUS: Helena Bonham-Carter Good god, I'd do things to this girl you wouldn't do to farm animals. She's 44 and still smokin' hot. I really think it was Fight Club that sealed the deal for me, since Marla was a screamer, and I always figured Helena would be too. That, and her name is Helena. It doesn't get much better than that.
Alt Focus: She spoke at my college graduation and gave a mind-numbing speech revolving around a stupid CPR bacronym, and if I recall correctly, the C and the P were basically the same thing, like commitment and perseverance. But damn, she's 54. Fifty-freaking four. In Biblical times she could have been my grandmother.
The Joker, I mean Cameron Diaz. Even in her "hot days" she never did it for me. Now her face looks like its melting. Alt Focus: Amanda Peet One of my good friends from HS thought she was "freaky looking" and my roommate thinks she is meh, but I have always had a huge thing for her. And then, I saw her on the street in New York a few years ago, and in person, she is absolutely stunning. My intial reaction was holy mother of god that woman is gorgeous before I even realized who she was. Just for fun.
Sarah Jessica Parker. Not sure if anyone even thinks she is cute but she's beat. I also hate about hearing what a fashion Icon she is, my wife forced me to watch the first movie and she had a bird on her head on her wedding day. Fucking retarded.
Well, I'm one of those guys. As much of a fucking moron as she comes across as, and as awful her music is, she is incredibly beautiful. I don't see how anyone can argue with that. Focus- Julia Roberts and Sarah Jessica Parker have already been mentioned, but I still don't understand Jennifer Aniston. She is a moderately attractive, good-looking woman no man would be ashamed to have as a girlfriend or wife. At the same time, I probably see at least a dozen women every day on the streets or inside a restaurant or bar that I would definitely consider more beautiful. Anti-Focus- Anika Noni Rose; I know a lot of people on this board refuse to entertain the notion that a black girl can be hot, but to me she is female perfection. It helps even more that she seems intelligent and is a very good actress. Elena Dementieva; I think I first saw her play tennis on television when I was 11 and she was 16. Nowadays, her face is way too long and narrow, with the skin drawn real tight, but it doesn't matter to me. I still find her exceptionally attractive;
Anna Kornikova. Shoot me. Yes, She has a nice frame, hair down to her ass crack and she's the worst professional tennis player in the history of the solar system, but face it: she has a rat face, and she's one of the biggest megalomaniacs EVER. That just simmers my absolute ho-hum feelings about her. Her sex appeal is as overrated as her athletic ability.
I will admit to Celebrity Blindness, but in a different manner. When I picture Celebrities, like movie stars, I see them as Giants of People. Not in a Andre sort of way, but magnificent gods above men. Then I hear their heights, and realize how short they are. Take Brad Pitt. Currently one of my favorite actors, and he's a full half foot shorter than me at my 6'5. I just can't wrap my head around ever meeting him, and literally looking down on him. If this is too off topic, feel free to delete it, but it seemed a little bit pertinent.
Alt-Focus: Sarah Brightman. The original Christine from ALW's Phantom Of The Opera, she has an incomparible, child-like singing voice and is brazenly sexy. She's almost 50 and is still a knockout.
She is also dumb as a fucking post. <a class="postlink" href="http://tv.gawker.com/5613914/everyday-new-yorkers-read-amanda-bynes-tweets-out-loud" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://tv.gawker.com/5613914/everyday-n ... s-out-loud</a> Alt-Focus: David Spade. I bet you that funny little man can fuck like a jackrabbit.
Jennifer Aniston doesn't look moderately hot to me. She looks like what she is, a rich 40-something greek woman.
Alt focus since I posted my celebrity hate earlier: Asia Argento. I would do things to her that would make even the most hardened criminal blush and cringe.