I find this whole topic really interesting. I lean the same way you do: that, in general, a safe outlet for something that's not socially acceptable is going to reduce the urge to do it for real. Whether it's cheating, or whether a partner is going to find the behavior acceptable is a completely different topic. That said, I'd love to see some real scientific data on whether that's true. Because even if it's true for most people, if engaging in it actually increases the urge for some meaningful portion of the population, it adds a significantly different color to the discussion. This isn't about actual outcomes, it's about possible outcomes. Killing someone with a grenade launcher is not a possible outcome of loading up Gears of War. You don't accidentally rape anyone just because you loaded up 50 Shades of VR: The Game and ignored the safe word. When you go into a situation, you accept the possible outcomes, and that's where the morality comes in. I'd argue that there's an actual, real immoral action happening when you drive drunk: you are putting others in imminent danger. It's really not much different than playing involuntary Russian Roulette with random passers-by.
Well, this isn't quite the same topic, but prepare yourselves for the ethical question of virtual groping. https://medium.com/athena-talks/my-first-virtual-reality-sexual-assault-2330410b62ee Maybe I'm a bad person, but knowing that this is going to be a cause within the next few years is kind of funny.
What if we make the action more incendiary? Instead of violent rape or murder (as if that wasn’t bad enough), what if VR allowed pedophiles to have sex with babies/children? What if the technology grew sophisticated enough that the guy could upload a picture of a child he liked and the program would simulate that child? What if it was a simulation of a child in your life? Would we be okay with someone acting this out, and if not where is the line? If you have an outlet for an outrageous proclivity, does it make you safer or more dangerous?
In '01-'02, I wrote a short story set close to a century in the future, where full-immersion mind/machine interface VR has rendered prostitution obsolete. Women who would have otherwise turned to prostitution instead become assassins. Two dollar whores make mistakes and get caught. The equivalent of a present day $5000 an hour call girl kills high profile targets, escapes cleanly and earns top dollar. My protagonist, Charlotte (get it Iron Maiden fans, GET IT?!) is one of the latter. If VR ever becomes indistinguishable from reality, I'm pretty sure prostitution will become obsolete in any case. Maybe we'll forget which world is the real one, and which is VR.
The big black bull cucking stepsister from the women’s prospective will be the most frequented genre. Trust me.