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CHRISTMAS & NEW YEARS DRUNK THREAD 2009 (NSFW)

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Nettdata, Dec 23, 2009.

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  1. Aetius

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Someone get the jizzmop.
     
    #141 Aetius, Dec 23, 2009
  2. MoreCowbell

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    And I want a fucking cigarette, but the parents don't like me smoking and the door is loud.


    Fuck home. It's making me do the right thing and stuff.
     
    #142 MoreCowbell, Dec 23, 2009
  3. Blue Dog

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    I gotta sham wow, will that do?

    I mean, it IS made in Germany, so you know its good.
     
    #143 Blue Dog, Dec 23, 2009
  4. Stimpson J Cat

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    My socks are from China, and they work just fine.
     
    #144 Stimpson J Cat, Dec 23, 2009
  5. kuhjäger

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Little known fact, the Shamwow was originally made for clean up after Scheiße porn.

    So today I came up with an idea for a porn:

    Backdoor to the Future. Basically a Back to the Future porn. Only with 2.2 Jizzawatts!!

    Then for the interracial crowd Black to the Future and then for the south of the border porn enthusiasts "Wetback to the Future"

    There is a fortune to be made here people.
     
    #145 kuhjäger, Dec 23, 2009
  6. taste_my_rainbow

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    My $6 leggings from Target are cotton and made in Egypt so does that make them Egyptian cotton? Probably not, but I love them anyway.
     
    #146 taste_my_rainbow, Dec 23, 2009
  7. MoreCowbell

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009


    I would watch this.

    "Is that your flux capacitor in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
     
    #147 MoreCowbell, Dec 23, 2009
  8. cllrbone11

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009


    Dibs on cameraman. Anybody have a camera I can borrow/have?

    Actually, my RA at school was seriously considering making some porn films. He had a girl who was down to do it and everything. He's a great RA.
     
    #148 cllrbone11, Dec 24, 2009
  9. konatown

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    I just witnessed the first shouting match of the family get together! Don't even have parents or aunts/uncles involved yet. Tomorrow will bring out alot of anger in people. There isn't enough Jack Daniels in the world to make 'The Holidays' worthwhile.

    Toytoy, will you adopt me? I can split wood and shoot small mammals like a mother fucker. Please. Seriously. Oh and your blog is hilarious.

    I'll go read this thread now.
     
    #149 konatown, Dec 24, 2009
  10. hotwheelz

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Sex? Where?

    I think fundie nurse might be into me.
     
    #150 hotwheelz, Dec 24, 2009
  11. LucasJackson

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Here's where my day has seen me:

    Wake up, eat breakfast, and roommate tells me his dad just died.

    Go to work, no customers, and I want to kill myself.

    Get drunk, come home, roommates are using the showers and I have to piss so bad I pee in a milk carton and pour it down the sink.

    I am the worst human being alive.

    I don't know why the hell I wrote all this out. This si the worst christmas post ever. Good news is, I'm going to my sister's tomorrow for Christmas and I'm probably going to be drunk the whole two days - PLUS her christmas gifts came in the mail today. Thank god.

    BTW - Thanksgiving is so much better than Christmas. Football, turkey, hunting, no buying any fucking christmas gifts... what could beat that?
     
    #151 LucasJackson, Dec 24, 2009
  12. JDTheHero

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Blowjobs. With beer. As a christmas present.
     
    #152 JDTheHero, Dec 24, 2009
  13. cllrbone11

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Tap that fundie nurse Hotwheelz. Tap her hard.
     
    #153 cllrbone11, Dec 24, 2009
  14. PIMPTRESS

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    I just read back through this thread.

    We are some twisted fucks.
     
    #154 PIMPTRESS, Dec 24, 2009
  15. hotwheelz

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    I replied to the same craigslist ad. She charge you too?
     
    #155 hotwheelz, Dec 24, 2009
  16. hotwheelz

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Like, on the shoulder?
     
    #156 hotwheelz, Dec 24, 2009
  17. PIMPTRESS

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Just achieve some fucking penetration! Damn!
     
    #157 PIMPTRESS, Dec 24, 2009
  18. hotwheelz

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Where do I get that achievement? Do I get gamer points?
     
    #158 hotwheelz, Dec 24, 2009
  19. Blue Dog

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    JUST GET ME SOMMORE FREAKIN KNOB! WHAT I WOULDNT GIVE FORE A MOUTH FULLA KNOB! ALL DOWN MY THROAT AND SHIT, YO!
     
    #159 Blue Dog, Dec 24, 2009
  20. MooseKnuckle

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    Re: CHRISTMAS DRUNK THREAD 2009

    Just got back from my hometown bar. I'll illustrate how far in the sticks I live with a simple story that I heard some guy tell. One Christmas a few years ago he and his sister left the house with a bottle of rum, but they had nothing to mix it with. The vending machine outside the grocery store wasn't working so the NEXT CLOSEST OPTION WAS TO DRIVE 30 MILES TO THE "CITY". Anyway, they ended up getting a DUI/MIC and had to have their mother bail them out of jail on Christmas day. Jesus, I never realized how small my hometown area is until I moved away. Still love (to visit) it though

    EDIT: Just read the last few posts. What the fuck is going on in this place?
     
    #160 MooseKnuckle, Dec 24, 2009
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