I was housesitting for my parents, and my boyfriend at the time spent the night. We fooled around on the game room couch and left a pretty large stain on a cushion. I spent the rest of the weekend trying to remove it. When my mom came home and freaked out over the stain, I told her it was from my cat throwing up. That's what pets are for, right? If you look closely you can still see a trace of it.
On a dare from my friends, I once ruthlessly hit on a 61 year old lady (I was 20 at the time)...and ended up sleeping with her. I enjoyed it, too. Not only have I slept with fat chicks many times...I actually kind of like it.
Are we doing odd sex stuff? You know, I tend to think that I have a pretty normal sex life. I don't have any particularly out-of-the ordinary fetishes, and even though I'm willing to indulge almost anything, I can get off on some pretty vanilla stuff. That being said, i've somehow wound up with a collection of odd sex stories; perhaps these have happened to most people? Somehow, in my not at all crazy sex life, I've dealt with being covered in period blood, being covered in regular vaginal blood, premature ejaculation (mine), peeing during sex, shitting during sex, premature ejaculation (hers), shifting an IUD, fishing a nipple hair out of my mouth, turning down a threesome (MMF), turning down a different threesome (MMF), being watched by a girl's friend who I thought was sleeping, having cyber sex with three different people at once (including a stranger who was probably racist; I actually probably still have that convo somewhere), turning down yet another threesome (MMF), and cunnilingual flatulence (several times). I also gave head once in exchange for steak.
I'd be surprised if there was a man out there (assuming he goes downtown) who hasn't had a pussy fart go right down his throat. It's like my dad always used to say "The only way out is through!". You just deal with that shit and get her off.
I drunkenly hooked up with a girl who I not only don't find attractive, but have called a cunt to her face multiple times, both jokingly and serious. When we fucked, I was getting blown and got a finger in the ass. I came harder than with anyone else I've ever been with. I almost fucking passed out. She is the only one that has ever done that, and I think it was a spiteful thing to her. I am too much of a pussy to tell anyone else. Also I lost my virginity to a girl I met on World of Warcraft. Amazingly I have had steady girlfriends after my socially retarded start. Oh and to some of the other posts on here. It has been decided between a few of my friends and I that everyone that has accidentally gotten bloody faces from sex, knows that rusty coin taste is a good indicator.
Let me get this straight. You fucked your unconscious girlfriend in the ass? How does this randomly happen? Did you pull the old "Does this smell like chloroform to you" trick?
Your name makes so much sense now. Also, you might be a rapist. FOCUS: It's my opinion that Tim Tebow is dreamy.
I am quietly but deliberately sabotaging myself at work in the hopes that they will force me to make a decision that I am too afraid to make on my own.
I cheated on my college girlfriend with multiple girls. I justified it to myself by thinking that because I didn't put my dick in the girls or kiss them, I wasn't cheating. I was NOT a good person in college. I also fucked a married woman at work when I started with the company.
At a school dance in 7th or 8th grade, I went to use the bathroom and tried ripping a fart but used too much force and shit my pants. I spent a good half hour in the stall cleaning out my Space Jam boxers the best I could. My friends were wondering why I spent the rest of the night sitting down. I have also hooked up with a few married girls whose husbands were deployed back at my first base.
he typed "ily" and sent heart messages on MSN of course, come on man! I've gotten blown by a fat chick in return for doing her homework. (it was actually awful)
Some people gave him some shit (possibly rightly so) for his shower story. However, I think this is the weirdest part... Has anyone ever seen or heard of a setup like this? A vent above a shower that can be looked down in to. OK then. Maybe we were blaming the wrong guy. The architect was the creep. Focus:Back when I young, dumb, and not very confident in myself, I would pretend to be other people when talking to women out at bars and such. Also, hockey players always worked the best. Even in Georgia.
You'd know for sure whether it was right or wrong if they would be horrified to wake up during the act.
And what if you watched the corpse sex through a shower vent while masturbating to fatty and grandma porn? Would that be wrong?