Do your boobs hang low,do they wobble to and fro? NSFW kinda

I think it's one of those things where you need to have hands-on interaction in order to understand. PM me and I'll give you my Grandma's phone number.

I actually don't think they're marketing this towards me/women like me. I don't care if my chest gets wrinkled, I sleep on my stomach, and I don't sleep alone. I cannot imagine bringing home a dude, getting sweaty with him, and then pulling out this thing to put in between your breasts while you make post-coital plans to "do this again sometime." It's on par with a visible dental retainer....you just don't use it when you've got company in your bedroom.

 

1) Thanks. My girlfriend is Chinese, so I'm not used to these problems of physical decay.

2) Perhaps off-topic but are there nights when you don't have sex with a guy you just met?

 

1. Ah. I see. But your trade-off is lack of a deliciously smackable, plump, mouth-wateringly round booty. Since I'm ardently pro-choice, I respect your decision but I happen to disagree with your priorities.

2. Yes, those nights do happen. But it's very telling that you interpret "bringing home a dude" as "bringing home a random." I wouldn't wear my retainer/plastic tit penis in front of my boyfriend, nor would I do so in front of a long-term FWB. Why wouldn't I extent the same courtesy to a random? Manners, manners.

It only proves my point--this thing is for single women who think that being chest-wrinkle-free at age 60 is going to somehow going to make the utter silliness of using this product justifiable.

 

Wait, hold on - are you saying that if I dated your grandmother I'd have access to a plump, round, smackable booty that I don't have right now? News to me.

Secondly, as to my interpretation -

It may be rather implicit, but yeah, it seems far more likely that in this situation you've just slept with a boy you've not slept with before. Which is fine, really, but I would have thought I was safe in the assumption that there are enough nights that you can wear your retainer so that your teeth don't turn British on you. And why the fear of wearing a retainer in front of your boyfriend / friends with benefits? Maybe it's because I wear a retainer all the time and got my braces off less than a year ago, but I don't see what's so weird about it.

 

1. There's a huge difference between a retainer and a tit pillow. One is a medical device. The other is, well, a vinyl covered tit pillow that you bought off tv. With a retainer, there's a sense of necessity- you don't wear it, you risk your teeth ending up back in braces. Whether you're willing to risk that is up to you. A tit pillow is a choice. Until you can prove to me that medically this thing is doing some help (can you really measure a decrease in titty creasing?), you're choosing to act like a fool with no sound science behind it.

2. Are you sure you're old enough to read this board if you just got your braces off?

 

Slow down there for a minute. Where did I conflate the tit pillow and a retainer? Seriously. Point it out. I thought it was rather understood that the two weren't in the same category of medical need, and saved myself the trouble of having to spell that out explicitly, but I guess I thought wrong. I was making the point that, even presuming Ms. Pinkcup would only wear this when she sleeps alone, there might be enough nights that she could use it to increase her overall comfort while falling asleep, given the contingency that she fell into the category of women who might benefit from one in the first place. Also, that she's weird for thinking retainers are something that should never be seen by people whose genitalia have been inside most of her orifices.

Also, I'm 21. I got braces after most people already had theirs taken off. Not a big deal.

 

The tit pillow doesn't increase comfort, though--much like a retainer doesn't increase comfort. Its purpose, much like the dental retainer, is to prevent movement of things that should theoretically remain in a fixed position during sleep.

I'm weird for thinking retainers shouldn't be pulled out during/after bedroom trysts? Dude, please. I don't care if your dick/tongue has been in my ass, mouth, ear, vag, armpit, whatever for years on end.....my personal shit isn't meant for anyones eyes but my own. By your logic, once someone has entered all of my orfices they should automatically be privy to my yeast infection treatments, what my floss looks like after I've finished flossing, and the oh-so-sexy faces I make when I'm trying to scrape my tongue. No thanks, I'll pass on that and keep my dignity instead.

Yay! We're finally getting a "Ask A Girl With Large Chesticles" thread!

No, the purpose of the tit pillow isn't to help you get a better night's sleep. It is solely designed to prevent chest wrinkles. I guess the male equivalent would be sticking a tube of toothpaste between your ass cheeks in order to prevent....something. Doesn't sounds too comfortable, does it?

To answer your questions: Yes, sometimes they do get in the way when I'm sleeping on my stomach. If I'm on a firm mattress, I feel like I can't breathe. I've figured out a way of arranging pillows that mitigates it, though. My back pain is directly correlated to my cup size, and I fully plan on getting a reduction later in life. To me, however, the objects between myself and my mattress aren't foreign...so I can't really answer that.

 

Yes, the tit pillow does make the explicit claim of increasing comfort at night - watch the video. The wrinkle thing is secondary.

As for the retainer thing - there's something I'm not getting here. If you only wear it when you sleep and it really fucks up your ability to talk, I can get not wearing it during sex or around a random, but if you have enough of a relationship to have sex with someone more than once, how much dignity do you really have to lose after being naked and sweaty with a guy? As for the yeast infection stuff, well, the one-day formulations tend to cause more irritation than the three/five/seven day varieties, are also easier to use, but there is no different in how quickly they resolve an infection. Maybe I'm the one that's weird, but for all of the retainer-wearing and tooth-brushing I've done around my girlfriend (and her around me), I didn't find any of it particularly insulting to my, or her, dignity.

 

Dude, different people are going to have different comfort levels with their significant other. Just because you have explosive diarrhea while talking to your girlfriend as she shaves her mustache doesn't mean everyone else will.
Not knowing about the huge tit problem personally, I'm sure they do have to be extremely uncomfortable when sleeping, running, chest bumping after an awesome touchdown, etc. So anything that increases comfort and aesthetic value? More power to you. I’m thinking the results have to be minimal if at all relevant, but only one way to find out! Where’s Hooker?

 

I personally hope they can get an older, jaded spokesperson like Pamela Anderson or Jenny McCarthy. How much fun would it be to listen(masturbate) to one of these dipshits talk about their boobies?
(And, possibly touch them in a demonstrative manner?)

Oooohh, how about Jennifer Love Hewitt? Maybe she can bedazzle this thing like one of Shegirls other thread:

<a class="postlink-local" href="http://www.theidiotboard.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=586" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">viewtopic.php?f=1&t=586</a>

Can you imagine her dumb ass saying how the twins match the snatch? Or, how she explains "cleavage wrinkles"?
Maybe she could do the commercial with Christopher Walken. He could explain it like he did about hiding the watch in Pulp Fiction;
"There's no way she's gonna let those dirty gooks touch em..."

 

Is it cool that I just jerked off to that video? I mean, we're all friends here, right?

 

You have no idea.

Involves simulated boobs, but since it shows nipple it's sorta NSFW:

NSFW

HERE is a simulation of what different breast sizes look like when doing different forms of activity and wearing different types of undergarments (or lack thereof). Check out DD in a normal bra and tell me that doesn't make your boobs hurt just thinking about it.

Honestly, while I think the tit penis is kind of stupid and I truly don't see how there is any difference in comfort....if it makes you happy, I say roll with it. But don't get your panties in a knot when I make fun of you mercilessly.

 

This hypothetical thread would not get past one question being asked over and over again. Don't believe me? Ask Dcc for her opinion.

Also, what the fuck people? After I read the first post, I was completely certain that by page 3 this thread would have devolved into a "post pictures of hot chicks with huge tits" thread. Enough of this debating and arguing tomfoolery. Bring me the tits.

I'll start

NSFW

 

Jesus, how deep in the Asian jungle ARE you? Have you ever even seen a breast bigger than a B cup? This is turning into a 5th grade "I wonder what's under her dress?" playground discussion. Just because your girlfriend can only be sure she actually passed through puberty after extensive medical testing, doesn't mean that's the same deal for all these other lovely ladies.

A direct translation of your words is "If you have sex with a man more than once, you've lost all your dignity" and so clearly she should simply give up on any attempt to be dignified.

OOOOOOOOOOooooooo.......!!

Someone's tempting The Bunny's psycho-bipolar-feminazi-banhammer! But I wouldn't blame her one bit this time round!

Oh hang on, I'm thinking RMMB. I'm in a flashback. I'm back in 'Nam.

The heavy air hits you like a wet towel that's been sitting in a hot car. The thicket of leafy vegetation obstructs my view in all directions, and as I wade through the murky water, though I can't feel it, I'm certain there are at least half a dozen leeches sucking the lifeblood out of my legs. Literally. A break in the canopy. The sudden sunlight blinds my view. I shade my eyes. Sudden explosions. Gunfire. I trip over my own legs and my face meets water. I taste blood. My arms and legs have been blown off by a mortar shell. As has my torso. And my head. There's nothing left of me but a tiny chunk of my cheek that flies across the murky river and lands on the opposing bank. With my last moments of life I see the rest of my body slumped over a jagged treetrunk. It's screaming and flailing its arms and legs about. With my last moments of life I lament the tragedy of never having found the perfect 50 cent burrito. I die.

Woah. Hang on. Where am I? Oh right.

I just saw an incredibly fat man with a huge hanging gut and mondo man mammaries. I wonder if I should suggest this product to him? Who knows, his future hookers getting paid triple time may appreciate the complete lack of fat flap wrinkles. And anyway I bet this is the one product that would actually be beneficial to lose in his fat flaps. I don't know though, I think I'm going to wait for some intrepid soul to chart that billowing sea of flesh before I set sail and risk whirlpools, uncharted rocky reefs, and sea monsters (flesh eating bacteria).

On a vaguely related tangent, if I ever gain 400 pounds (you know, recreationally) I want to get a tattoo of an arrow pointing at a crevice between two of my planet-engulfing fat folds that says "Here Be Monsters"

You can have the fat chicks with the fleshlights in their tits if I can have the chick in your avatar.

DON'T MAKE ME GREEN YOU A FIFTH TIME FOR HYPNOTIC TITS

DONT TEST ME MAN I'LL DO IT

I'M CRAZY

Dude, I so totally would do the same, but I'm at the library. I'll totally play trucks with you later though.

 

It's damn near impossible for me to sleep on my stomach. Like Pinkcup said, it requires strategic pillow placement. I have severe neck and shoulder pain from the DD/DDD's and as soon as possible I'm having a lift/reduction.

I don't think the Kush would help any, if at all, but I have caught myself with my hand supporting the boob on top. That's probably more to do with the fact that my ex slept with his hand there and it feels normal for me and less to do with some subconscious wrinkle anxiety.

 

Holy hell. Lay of the god damned drugs, will you? My girlfriend's bra size has nothing to do with the discussion as to how much dignity is lost by wearing a retainer. Which reminds me - you've perfectly characterized what I said. Have sex with a man more than once, and any and all attempts at dignity are forever meaningless and futile. Shit.

Isn't there a whole industry set up behind selling bras in various pretty colours and patterns far beyond what might be necessary for matching clothing? I figure, if you have various coloured bras, might as well have various colored tit pillows.

 

Fair enough, but all things considered, wouldn't you rather have a tit pillow whose colour you like vs. a turd-brown tit pillow?