Went to a friend's 21st last night at a karaoke bar and it was fuckin awesome. Entire bar singalongs to Bohemian Rhapsody followed by Play by David Banner was a highlight. Also I got to hang out with a girl I've liked for a long time but never see since she lives an hour away. Is calling a girl "Thickness" a cool thing to do? Does that increase my chances of getting laid? Because I did that. I learned from the best: Points of interest: 3:39 - That dude fucking hates his life 3:50 - THAT SPIN AROUND AIR PIANO MOVE! Unfortunately, I think said girl is seeing some other dude that lives closer to her. Which makes total sense, but sucks because cool chicks are hard to find around here. So I guess it's back to the Fleshlight and imagining banging impossibly attractive women for me. Like this one: or this:
You'll know for sure when you run into some arrogantly smiling/inwardly raging guy who asks you "Hey man, how does my dick taste." And I recommend you answer, "I'm not sure if you are understanding the concept 'taste' correctly."
I just made twice baked potatoes with baba ghanoush, because I didn't have enough sour cream. They were awesome! I also just had a steak for the first time in six months. Yes... for six months, I have been no grill and no steak. My mouth is still watering. All I need now is a glass of red wine... NSFW and some dick, for dessert.
I don't understand this. Why even bother to connect to a porn star or some sack of anuses like Johnny Rotten? Are these "fans" so deluded they think, "Oh, well, they're standoffish, but they'll like ME." I think so. I also like to call these people stalkers. Contemptible, puerile, sad, sorry little shits. The vids floating around of adult expos in Las Vegas where these fat turds come out to fawn over the girls they jack it to using their own tears as lube, make my skin crawl. I'd be surprised if they didn't have dried spooge on their hands just to rub it on the object, err GIRL, when they shake hands or hover for a picture. They at least believe they have a right to their time, because he imagined himself slapping balls with some hung dude as he DP'd her. At worst, they think they have some connection with the girl for the same reasons above. And why the fuck do they all wear fanny packs?!
Fucking liar, you certainly seemed to generalize a lot when I asked if you would be willing to suck dick for skittles
I dunno, I just read a lot of nonsense about hoodies and ignored it. I'm so tired of this circumcision debate.
I went to Sasha Gray's New York event for her book tour, and during the Q&A session, there was this one old creepy guy who had apparently been to all of her events in the general area who raised his hand and just rambled on for five minutes professing his love to her. Then I think his question was asking her how to tell his son about his love for her. She was so uncomfortable and it was one of the most cringe-worthy moments of my life. Everyone in the room was completely still and silent. It was the worst. I have never felt creepier for watching porn by association.
You know, you can cook a steak without a grill. In fact, nearly all the best steaks are cooked without charcoal anywhere nearby. I know using a pan in the kitchen isn't as satisfying, but the results can be worth the trade off. With regard to the current discussion: I can't be the only guy contented with the fact there is a glass screen and miles of fiber optic cable between me the porn flavor of the month. Their shit has to be all sorts of torn up.
AVN meet and greets are the saddest things ever. There are no winners. Although it does make for fascinating people watching. It's been a great birthday weekend, but I do have to say I'm way too tired. I'm not having sex for a week. Adriana Lima could show up at my door and all I would be able to muster is an apologetic shrug and frantic phone calls trying to get my hands on some Levitra. Also bacon and ice cream. I know everyone is going all Paleo and shit, but fuck that nonsense.
At least I'm pretty confident that when I meet James Deen I will be totally smooth about it and not creepy or weird or awkward at all.
There is a great documentary I saw on netflix (not sure if it's still on it) about two different "super fans" of 80's pop singer Tiffany called "I Think We're Alone Now." One is a transgender person and one is a fat stalkerish dude with mental issues. They actually get these two people to meet up and try and contact her at a show. Basically an hour and a half of what you felt at the book tour. It's great. By the way, Tiffany still looks smoking hot. *Never mind here is the whole movie. Enjoy. I don't know what you really could say if you meet a porn star. "Love your work, uhhh, I mean I've masturbated to you maybe 3400 times miss Haze. Your Big Wet Asses clip with James Deen is my all time favorite. Well have a good one!" On a spring break in Miami we went to a strip club and Vicki Vette featured danced and we got to meet her after when she was signing shit. The dude in front of us had one of those magic trick wands that you pull flowers out of. She looked not amused. My brothers friend talked to her for a minute and found out they were from towns forty miles apart in Canada. She was happy at first and then out of no where blurted out that she had never told her mother what she did and sat there with a thousand yard stare about to cry. He tried joking it off but she didn't answer so we left. It was weird.
If you ever meet James you might be sorely disappointed in just how far removed he is from his porn persona. Sorry.
Watch this. Learn it. Practice it until you realize that THIS is the best way to make a steak, not a grill.