I tend to agree that "thinking time" is a non-existent thing. It's a meaningless term being used in place of the truth. I don't necessarily agree that it means you should break up with the guy, I don't know either of you well enough to say that. But, something is bothering him and he can't or won't tell you what it is. You have to ask yourself if it's worth the effort and possible blow to your pride to find out what it is. He might tell you on his own in time or, more likely, you'd have to confront him and find out what it is that way. Because it's the key. It may be a fear of commitment, it may be a drunken kiss with a chick at a bar, it may be some sudden scary health problem, I have no idea, but there's something there he is failing to communicate. If he won't tell you or he tells you and it's something you really can't deal with, then maybe consider breaking up. But this is your life and happiness and sometimes to have a happy life you leave aside gameplaying, posturing, and pride, and do what it takes to be with the person you love. And sometimes that includes going to them and saying "what's going on?" even though your every instinct is to make them come to you after they hurt you or did something stupid.
I lived this last summer. The inconsistency and the "I don't know" and the "I need space". Just thinking about it makes me somewhat queasy. In The Guys case - he didn't use his words and tell me what he was feelin as he was feeling it. Instead he bottled it up and it all came boiling over at once. At nearly 30, he had no "career", but was in a serious relationship with a woman with 3 children and a helluva lot more going on than he'd ever dealt with. It took him a couple of months but he came around. When he came around, he did so completely and without reservation. Our communication is better, and our expectations are defined. All of that said - I have no idea how long you've been together, or your history, or anything like that, but it sounds like your boy wants out. If he does, let him go. If he decides he wants back in, that's up to you, but don't feel badly if you say no. Also. Fuck posting on a phone.
Give it a few hours and it'll feel like Satan's jizz is leaking out of your ass. Those Thai folks must have the world's cleanest colons. Rachiii, if reading this board as long as I have has taught me a thing, it is that 99% of the people here, myself included, really have no business giving advice on successful relationships. You know your situation, what you feel comfortable with, and what you will accept. Don't waiver from that, and don't compromise.
I might have whimpered just a bit. You know...trying to save what little dignity I still have, what with being face fucked by Satan's pot luck and all.
Noland, you are one mouthy fuck. And I don't think there is such a thing as "thinking time." When you're an adult, you should shit or get off the pot. I think the whole world makes relationships more complicated than they need to be. Do you like him? Yes? Okay. Does he like you? Yes? Okay. Be together. Do you like him? Yes? Okay. Does he like you? He's not sure? Okay. Get the fuck over him. Do you like him? No? Okay, then stay the fuck away from him.
And now let's read about an awesome relationship...get your hankies ready... <a class="postlink" href="http://www.themysteryworld.com/2012/07/man-carves-wife-6000-stair-path-in.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.themysteryworld.com/2012/07/ ... th-in.html</a>
I disagree. I'd say if you put 99% of this board's experience together, you have a pretty interesting and accurate view of what is really happening. I am happy I saved some posts from the "How to Leave" thread from the RMMB...that advice was stellar and solid, much like the advice already given here (minus Pinkcup...that shit is just passive aggressive at its finest). Anyway, Rachiii knows what's going on (all women do) and just needs a little confirmation. She'll either continually read, "leave, leave, leave" and feel shitty about it or she'll read it and feel stronger. Either way, she knows what she wants to do and this way will be more confident in her decision. End of story. Rachiii, I feel for ya. I was in a shit situation and we took an entire month off. Worst month of my life.* I drunkenly kissed someone who'd had a crush on me for a long time and felt dirty and disgusting. That's why I can't imagine Pinkcup seriously giving advice that you'd need to fuck someone else right away. That's just gross. While it's true that the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else, you still have to give the old relationship (and yourself) a little respect. And like an addict, you need to be ready before it will work. Truthfully, I find that going out and fucking immediately does more harm than good. It's trying to validate yourself when you're empty. Sex for validation is psychological nepalm. There's only one hole (or two...ok...or three depending on your taste) sex should fill and it's not the one in your heart or soul. Anyway, while I truly enjoyed the beautiful weather on a lovely deck overlooking the water, methinks I had one too many grapefruit crushes. The hangover is already starting to kick in and I'm still a little drunk. Not a good sign. If I exhale, I fear burning down my house with this insane heartburn. *We ended up getting back together and eventually engaged. Other issues came to light later that caused the breakup, but hey, shit happens.
Thinking time is him thinking he's not really into you. Or not nearly as much as you appear to be into him. And have you read any of the psychopathic relationship antics that people talk about in this place? Jesus. Don't listen to ANYBODY HERE.
This right here. I'm too drunk (Sunday Funday) to actually read who we're talking about but I'm sick and tired of everyone acting like their specific circumstance hasn't happened before and THEY'RE DIFFERENT! There has been BILLIONS upon BILLIONS of people before you in all sorts of life situations, you story has happened before, you are not a snowflake. If something looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, smells like a duck, flies like a duck, and yes even tastes like a duck, it is a motherfucking duck. Stop trying to delude yourself by thinking that THIS bird is actually the offspring of a confused goose and quail, that looks like a duck and is super special/different. I don't care if it advertises supplemental insurance, its still a fucking duck. Oh but no Parker, things aren't black and white, they are shades of gray you say? Well gray is made up of black and white, (attribute good/bad to whichever color your racial inclinations desire) BUT if that gray is made up of 80% bad and 20% good, yeah its still gray, but you need to get the fuck out. Even if it is 55% bad, 45% good, you need to make the fucking call to get out. It's complicated either means someone is getting everything they want and someone else isn't thinking they will eventually OR someone is in a shitty situation and scared to get out of it because they don't think they can get into another situation for better or for worse. Hell it can be a combination of both. But it is always, always simpler than we want to make it. *Unless kids are involved, I'm not touching that with a 10 foot pole.* Hard and complicated are different though things. Lifting a car over my head is hard, but it is a simple motion. Breaking up with someone you have emotions for is hard, but it is simple. Complicated is like creating the perfect blue crystal meth (Breaking Bad was perfect tonight). Don't confuse the two. Also, now for my obligatory brag. Spoiler I gave a 26 year old woman her first orgasm from oral sex after being told multiple times that it couldn't be done, it was in fact impossible. No fingers used, just tongue and lips. I told her I want a trophy and a certificate of accomplishment by next weekend.