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Drunk Thread? Why Yes, I'd Love Some! 1/21/11

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Jan 21, 2011.

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  1. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Nurse? Isn't there a patient you can give an enema to? That's kind of hot. I'm not even into enema porn. You're either a nurse, undertaker, or Bangladesh call center.

    If so, enema applies to all 3 *wink*.

    So the ex-bf of my good friend calls me up and says I should go out. He's paying for all the drinks and shots. Anyone else find this weird? No, he didn't try to fuck me. I'm actually offended he didn't. I looked good. You fags wish you had this kind of arm candy.
     
  2. shimmered

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    I'm so not a nurse. I'm not that compassionate.
    No no, I'm head trainer of our XF gym and asst mgr of the climbing gym, and there are approximately 30 adolescent Boy Scouts cavorting about the gym right now. Little bastards are creepy as fuck, a couple of them are wall eyed, a couple of them are, I think, retarded, and most of them have been leering at my ass and giggling when they think I'm not looking.



    So please...don't leave me.
     
  3. CharlesJohnson

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    I like that you think I wouldn't do the same.

    My friend works with middle schoolers that aren't retarded. They hit on her unmercifully.

    Are you allowed to hit them? Not hard. Just to let them know who is dominant. Like a rolled up newspaper or something. Maybe you could tie the weakest up in his sleeping bag and beat him like a pinata. Make a game out of it.
     
  4. jennitalia

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    belllini, beelllini, beleinni, bellini........ manacscaping?!
     
  5. shimmered

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    They want me to demonstrate climbing for them.
    Hell. to the. No. First, I don't trust any of these little fuckers to belay me and second...ew.

    I hate night shift too, especially since I've already worked something close to 60 hours this week and I still have a full shift tomorrow afternoon.

    The good news, however, is that we're halfway through the night. YES!
     
  6. CharlesJohnson

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    I'd rather you demonstrate churning butter.
     
  7. Fernanthonies

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    Hey, I shave on the regular, and my girl loves it. What?
     
  8. Bourbondownthehouse

    Bourbondownthehouse
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    With a razor? You rock the bald eagle? Are you a porn star? Do you not get razor burn? So many questions.
     
  9. CharlesJohnson

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    Do you put a hot towel around it like an old timey barber?
     
  10. DrFrylock

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    Fucking eh the new True Grit remake was awesome.
     
  11. shimmered

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    If you don't know what you're looking for, it's about the same.
     
  12. Gator

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    Oh, they know what they're looking for.

    They came in Boy Scouts, but they're gonna leave as Man Scouts.

    How else are they supposed to get their "In The Pants" badge?

    8===>----
     
  13. shimmered

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    ew. that's just dirty gross.

    seriously, imagine the cartoon character that would always say "Snarf!" between sentences, these kids are about the same.
    The good news is they seem to be losing energy.
     
  14. Gator

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    What's really messed up is that they're not even officially Boy Scouts.

    Just a bunch of kids that saved up their allowances and Bar Mitzvah money to buy matching blue uniforms, pay a homeless dude to play their Scout Leader and rent you to babysit them overnight.

    They're gonna file this one away in the SpankBank for later. You're the only thing standing between them and a Clock Tower in 15 years.

    At least now you know why they wanna watch you climb the wall. Or just stand there and jump up and down.

    What are the odds that one of them has in their backpack: a metal bikini, $500 cash and a dream?
     
  15. Fernanthonies

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    We got really drunk art my buddies moms hise once

    I started that, what you see above there...earlier. Not sure what it means, God only knows what story I was trying to tell.

    fuck me.
     
  16. Arctic_Scrap

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    It's 4am, I just got home from the bar and I'm drunk. And I need to write a 2 paragraph paper about myself for one of my classes.

    I need to introduce myself, talk about my workl life prior to school, what keep[s me busy, and my thoughts on how to make a "people skills" course relevant to me going to school to be a millwright. It needs to be "positive, relevant, realistic, and constructive." Pretty much what I need is 2 paragraphs from the TiB.
     
  17. Fernanthonies

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    I was about to write two paragraphs for you as to why you are better than all of those other cunts that you go to school with, but then i remembered that i was very drunk. I was also going to write some clever shit to make fun of you here to too. I am far too drunk for both.

    Watch out for crabs.
     
  18. hotwheelz

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    YOU MY DOG, DAWG!
     
  19. Frank

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    So I know we stopped talking about this a few pages ago but I was asleep and feel the need to chime in:

    If you go to Olive Garden with the intention of having a good Italian meal, you are going to be disappointed. The trick with OG is to eat as much salad and bread sticks as possible so when your meal comes out you are already full. That way for something like $15 you get a delicious dinner of salad and bread sticks and box with food that's suitable enough to eat after a long night of drinking or to bring to work for lunch.

    Actually with the Skype app it basically is an iphone, the only issue is that it doesn't have built in 3-G Network, but if you carry a mi-fi with you you're set. It's a bit of a hassle but ~$60 and no contract sounds pretty attractive especially given the extra functionality of the mi-fi.

    Article
     
  20. ghettoastronaut

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    I love my ipod touch. We have wi-fi in the hospital so I'm always looking stuff up with it when I'm not in the office with my books. Plus, I'm not paying at least $50 per month for a data plan and I sort of consider it a bonus that people can't call me on it.

    In unrelated news, I woke up with the distinct feeling that I wanted to feel up a large pair of breasts. I looked, and there isn't one around. Another day starting up with disappointment.
     
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