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Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jan 25, 2013.

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  1. jdoogie

    jdoogie
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    [​IMG]
     
  2. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    This is the BEST story I have ever read!

     
  3. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Just saw this on Reddit, here's my favorite part:

     
  4. CharlesJohnson

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    2 rocks glasses.

    In one glass place a teaspoon of Absinthe or Pernod. Swirl. In other glass place one sugar cube, a teaspoon of water, and 5 dashes of Peychaud bitters. Muddle the cube into the liquids until dissolved. Add a few ice cubes to the slurry and 2 1/2 ounces Rye Whiskey. Stir until cold. Strain into the glass with the Absinthe and add a thin slice of lemon peel.

    Sazerac, bitches. I am sucking down my second. Drankin' on a Tuesday because fuck you.

    [​IMG]

    Just realized the guy's name was Brian Dennehy.

    Awesome.

    [​IMG]

    Definitely not "it."
     
  5. Juice

    Juice
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    Apparently if you google "Brian Dennehy nude" you get a picture of Leslie Nielsen.

    [​IMG]

    RIP Frank Drebin.
     
  6. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    He was killed in the ring in Houston. By Tex Colorado: the Arizona Assassin. From Dakota. North. South Dakota was his brother, from West Virginia.

    Warm rain is washed all the snow away for the third timme this year. It is well above freezing and getting warmer while getting darker. The weather the past two years has been very fucked up around here. Of course, we could have it worse. We could be California and be completely engulfed in flames 11 months of the year.
     
  7. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    You use no fire for this drink?
     
  8. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    I hope black Jesus is my bartender in heaven. Or wherever I end up.
     
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I want a talking octopus as a bartender in heaven. Maybe with Alan Rickman's voice.
     
  10. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    If all the marked down seafood got snatched up by the time I get to the store, I'm gonna shank a ho.
     
  11. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    More day-old shrimp, is it?
     
  12. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Actually, that batch was probably illegal to sell me. It was 2 days past the sell date, then I cooked it 2 days after that. They mark it down usually on the date on the sticker. Today the squid and shrimp expire.

    Yes, I have the rotating schedule of seafood specials memorized in my head. Don't be jealous of the exciting life I live.
     
  13. zyron

    zyron
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    My God what a horrible person she must be to be around. She probably felt so proud when she wrote that.

    In 2004 when UConn faced Duke in the final four a friend and I who both graduated from UConn went to a CT bar to watch the game. All UConn fans except for about 4 Duke fans who were fine except for one girl. Every time Duke scored she screamed this high pitched scream at the top of her lungs. This kept up for the entire game no matter how many people told her to shut up. When UConn came back and won at the end the entire bar stood up, moved over to her and everyone screamed at the top of their lungs till she was covering her ears.

    She then looked around shocked like "what did I do"? Fuck Duke.
     
  14. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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  15. Scum Bum

    Scum Bum
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  16. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I love New York.

    My work friends and I discovered this bar that's two blocks from where we work that has $3 or $4 beers or a $5 beer and whiskey shot combo, and every drink comes with a free hot dog. (I don't know how this compares to alcohol prices in the real world, but by NYC standards this is awesome.) We joked that we should all go there after work, but as our shift wore on (we work until midnight) we became more and more deadly serious about this plan. We convinced ourselves that we would all head over there for one drink and then head home.

    HAH as if I've ever gone out for one drink. We get our beer and a shot specials and our free hot dogs and settle in at a booth. There's jazz - strangely enough - and even though it's a Tuesday after midnight in midtown the bar is comfortably buzzing with people. A half an hour or so later, the bartender suddenly has a few boxes of pizza at the bar and announces if anyone wants a slice, they're welcome to come up and grab one while they're still warm. So we get some free pizza. We order another round. Soon enough, we meet an Italian boxer named Julio, and things start to spiral out of control from there.
     
  17. PIMPTRESS

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    If your god forbids bacon, your god hates you.
     
  18. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Wha-? Come on, woman! Go on! Do tell.

    [Edit: I keep getting an SQL server 'too many connections' on TiB. Is it just me?]
     
  19. zzr

    zzr
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    Nope, not just you. And I second the details request.
     
  20. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    This is Audrey we're talking about, TIB's resident cocktease when it comes to storytelling. I just put those things she says out of my mind so I can avoid narrative blueballs.
     
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