She's letting us write the rest of the story. Here's my version. "Yadda, Yadda, Yadda...I woke up with a black eye, smelly boxing gloves hanging over the shower curtain rack, and I won't poop right for a month."
If cheap hot dogs, beer, and whiskey are all it takes, I don't know if South Louisiana would be heaven or hell. A lot of places have free crawfish with (cheap) beer. It's an endless awesome cycle. Eat crawfish, drink beer. They're like the boiled peanuts of the crustacean world. I can say this- If you eat crawfish and you have a beard, there are certain things that you could do with your mouth that are not recommended when you get back to the house, like eat pussy.
All these story lead-ins and no fucking story. Guess this is another "create your own" tale. "I woke up the next day with spicy creole crawfish seasoning imbedded in my beard. I walked to the mirror and saw that my nose had been bleeding--kind of a lot. The night before was a blur--a slideshow missing quite a few slides. It was then that I noticed my girlfriend, naked from the waist down, straddling a 30lb. bag of ice on the kitchen floor. She was giving me the finger."
Here's a story with a beginning, a middle and an end, all conveniently wrapped up in a single sentence: If one more person tells me to check out the "awesome live stream of the BB10 launch, YEAH!!!!", I'm going to drive to Waterloo and shit on every street corner.
Hey, Angel, why don't you check out the awesome live stream of the BB10 launch, YEAH!!!!. Now, where's Waterloo?
For real. I would die without my 5 slices in the morning. Edit: also, PS people....I don't actually need laxatives to poop. I was just making fun of old people.
Who knows what twisted fetishes lurk beneath the surface of the average person? (Not that one. Gross.)
That's pretty close to accurate. Less bleeding, immediate burning, and she wound up in the shower with her legs in the air and cold water going directly from the faucet to the business. There's not a lot to the story. It's like getting your salad tossed by the dog when you're banging. You could elaborate, but the basics are pretty simple. You're having sex, the dog sneaks into the bed and licks your taint/asshole area. He didn't go at it with enthusiasm or anything. Just a pronounced and alarming lick. It's fucking weird and not at all fun or hot, and you move on.
If I were there, I'd hit you with my cane. After you served up one of those spectacular lunches you've been posting in the cooking thread. And yes, I really do have a cane!
Things that are not awesome: eating a burrito bowl and having a drop of salsa fly up in your eye mid bite. It leads to burning and tears. Its also great when a coworker chooses to swing by at that exact moment and ask why you are crying. Son of a bitch...
Also, Darius Rucker just released a cover version of Wagon Wheel (probably my favorite country/folk song), and its mainstreamed country crap. The only cover I've really liked is the Against Me version, however, in terms of full band, Mumford's version from their BBC session is pretty good.
I'm never going to forgive him for not editing the song to say South Carolina instead of Tennessee when he was playing a show before the USC-UT game.
I fucking HATE Wagon Wheel, with a disproportionate rage usually reserved for things that Crown Royal hates.
Seconded. My roommate played it on repeat to a string of three of four girlfriends for two years straight. They all fucking swooned over it. I used to blare Jeremy by Pearl Jam non stop to get him back because I liked the song and he despised it.
Funny thing about that song: the front man went to Phillips Exeter Academy. I believe that counts for +500 Bluegrass Cred points