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Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jan 25, 2013.

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  1. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    I'm more of the CopAFeelYa type.

    So, Tornado watch and about to get hammered with wind / rain. Just saw a cow fly by my window . . .
     
    #281 Rush-O-Matic, Jan 30, 2013
  2. CharlesJohnson

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    I imagine you with a swelled knee, puffing a corn cob pipe, telling the kids about the storm of aught 6. "Let me tell you, kids, you nevah did see a stahm like that no sir. Rained for days, flooded the town on out to Sutter's farm. No siree, ain't nothing like that since the stahm of '65 that killed all those Chinese railroad workers and on nights like this you can still hear their cries for help in the mines, boy howdy. Don't you ever go down that rahd, see, that rahd is cursed."
     
    #282 CharlesJohnson, Jan 30, 2013
  3. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    No joke, my cousins and I acted out this Canadian Heritage Moment as a sketch at Chinese New Year one year. It was not well received.
     
    #283 Angel_1756, Jan 30, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  4. CharlesJohnson

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    I don't buy it. Where the hell did you kids find that much nitroglycerin? Canada really is a different place if the local hardware shop sells that.
     
    #284 CharlesJohnson, Jan 30, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. VanillaGorilla

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    Wagon Wheel and Long Black Veil must be the two most covered bluegrass/country songs around.
     
    #285 VanillaGorilla, Jan 30, 2013
  6. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Eh, one of the aunts has a heart condition.
     
    #286 Angel_1756, Jan 30, 2013
  7. Parker

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    JUST IN:
    The girl just told me she has faked orgasms with me because she was too drunk to actually do it.
    NEWS UPDATE:
    I told her that I was too drunk to give a fuck anway.
     
    #287 Parker, Jan 30, 2013
  8. CharlesJohnson

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    Ron Jeremy hospitalized.

    GODDAMN YOU, GOD. Don't take The Hedgehog. Not yet, his mission to spread greezy love and prolapse hooker anuses isn't done yet.

    Two things struck me. Ron is the epitome of the porn caricature, I have no doubt he is the basis of the entire archetype. And, that man is only 59.

    [​IMG]

    If it comes to be... May a flight of angels sing thee to sweet, blessed rest.
     
    #288 CharlesJohnson, Jan 30, 2013
  9. Juice

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    So my finger accidentally broke through the toilet paper and touched my ass while I was wiping this afternoon.
     
    #289 Juice, Jan 30, 2013
  10. bewildered

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    Are you scared because you liked it a little bit?
     
    #290 bewildered, Jan 30, 2013
  11. CharlesJohnson

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    How many knuckles deep did you go before you felt gay and started crying?
     
    #291 CharlesJohnson, Jan 30, 2013
  12. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    That's not how gay realization happens. It's by looking into the bathroom mirror, realizing how good-looking you are and just saying "Shit, I'm not wasting this on CHICKS anymore!"
     
    #292 Crown Royal, Jan 30, 2013
  13. Rush-O-Matic

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    I'm just glad he didn't type that with quotes around the word accidentally.
     
    #293 Rush-O-Matic, Jan 30, 2013
  14. Binary

    Binary
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    The tears stopped once he got in past the wrist.
     
    #294 Binary, Jan 30, 2013
  15. Juice

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    Yeah, Im not a huge fan of getting poop on my finger. Especially when it's the result of the hibachi I had last night.
     
    #295 Juice, Jan 30, 2013
  16. bewildered

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    Did you poop out some peas whole? I do that sometimes.
     
    #296 bewildered, Jan 30, 2013
  17. ghettoastronaut

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    Isn't that how one becomes Durbanite?

    Soon to appear in the thread about lying...

    "I managed to convince these drunk chicks that I was an Italian boxer named Julio."

    I mean, come on, Julio isn't even an Italian name. J doesn't exist in the Italian alphabet.
     
    #297 ghettoastronaut, Jan 30, 2013
  18. Juice

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    No, I digest my food like a normal person. Plus I don't eat peas, because peas are fucking disgusting.
     
    #298 Juice, Jan 30, 2013
  19. lhprop1

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    And started again once he got to the elbow.
     
    #299 lhprop1, Jan 30, 2013
  20. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    That could've been me lying. He barely spoke English and the only things we could understand was that he was a boxer and that he lived in Rome. I would not be surprised if we misheard his name and just continued to call him Julio for the rest of the night.

    In other news, gee whiz I wish my bosses hadn't surprised me with my interview for a promotion today. If I had known I would have probably worn a bra.
     
    #300 audreymonroe, Jan 30, 2013
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