Bacon Dance Off? I'm guessing instead of cardboard they lay down bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips then throw down. This is how it is in my head, fuck off. I want a dunk tank filled with bacon, syrup, and bourbon. First person to make this happen gets a lapdance. Full friction, hair thong.
No, a bacon dance off is where you dance your ass off for the prize of bacon. My ass, it would be on the ground.
I had pictured girls in bacon bikinis dancing in a circle. After each song, remove a piece of bacon. First one naked wins.
NO. You're not tricking me. I know damn well how you chicks are with the leg shaving in the tub. You get lazy for a week, the next thing I know there's a ring around the thing that looks like Robin Williams' asshole. Hair and bacon do not mix. Unless you're cutting bacon gunk out of my back hair.
I want to concoct a drink that involves bacon and booze. Call it the bacobooze. It would be everything that god intended to enjoy on the 7th day. I'm thinking maybe applewood bacon and bourbon? Peppered bacon and vodka? I'm not sure if it should be simply a strip of bacon in the drink, or if the bacon should be muddled at the bottom of the glass. Perhaps a bacojito?
They already have bacon vodka, bacon martinis, bacon infused bourbon. Your best bet is to infuse bacon into bourbon. 2 ounces Maker's Bacon, a fat drizzle of maple syrup, maybe a touch of sweet vermouth. Shake over ice. Bacon Manhattan.
Well shit, there goes my idea. I started growing a lemon-mint plant (decided on that over the chocolate mint) and it goes great with Cruzan dark rum over ice. That's what I'll be drinking. That, and and enjoying a cheap gas station grape cigar. So maybe I should say "drank"? Russian Standard and cranberry has me buzzing pretty damn solid right now.
"MoreCowbell, that bottle of Jameson you just bought is a present. Not for you. Remember your cousin, who is going away to medical school? That is her Jameson. Plus, you have eight different types of booze in your house. Stop looking at it." "But none of them are Jameson. And why is it looking at me funny, tryin' to get all up in my taste buds?"
I can't wait until the meetup. "HEY IS THAT MORECOWBELL HOW IS IT GOING I LOVE JERKING OFF TO YOUR PICTURES. HAHAHAHA NOT LIKE THAT I MEAN THE ONES ON THE INTERNET ANYWAY WHATS UP"
I have a hunch no one will need ask "Is that Nom Chompsky?" Reasons shall be left unstated. Also, Chater is on USA network right now.