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Dude, I never should have slept with you

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Dec 13, 2013.

?

My biggest sexual regret involves...

  1. An opportunity I didn't take.

    68 vote(s)
    66.0%
  2. Taking an opportunity I should have left alone.

    27 vote(s)
    26.2%
  3. A mishap or blunder.

    5 vote(s)
    4.9%
  4. I've never had sex.

    2 vote(s)
    1.9%
  5. I'm just here to sleep with Nom.

    1 vote(s)
    1.0%
  1. Superfantastic

    Superfantastic
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    The regret that didn't happen: I was 21 or 22, and doing pretty well, sexually. The confidence that came with that mixed with my general stupidity made me miss out on BY FAR the hottest chick I could've been with. She was the receptionist at the radio station I worked for. After a couple weeks of flirting, we finally set up a date. Dinner was cool, but instead of bar-hopping, I took her to this lame house party, which I sort of figured might be lame. But whatever, don't think I ruined things there. The next night though, I'm out with a friend and we're chatting up these two girls for a while. I come back from the bathroom, and my buddy (also from the radio station) reveals what he found out while I was gone: one of the girls is the sister of the girl I went out with the night before. Only I spaced on her name so, in front of her sister, the convo went like this:

    "Dude, you'll never guess -- that's Amy's sister."

    *blank stare*

    "You know...Amy?"

    "Oh, you mean (our mutual friend) Amy from college?"

    "No, dude, from the radio station..."

    *blank stare*

    "The girl you went out with...last night."

    "Oooohhh!"

    Then I looked at her sister. She was not impressed, and funny enough I never heard back from Amy.

    The regret that did happen:

    Well it's a funny story, so I don't totally regret it. But two years before the above story, I did my work practicum at a radio station in New Zealand. It was awesome. Near the end of my term, my co-workers threw a party for me, which ended at a strip club, since I hadn't been during my entire time there. One of the greatest strip clubs I've been to in my life, especially since this particular co-worker, who was overweight, kinda ugly, and 15 years older than me, kept buying me shots and lap dances. Like a lot, to the point I'm blacking out. Still have a fuzzy memory of getting kicked out for making out in the bar, and strangers giving me very strange looks as she lead me out by the hand.

    Skip to her place, in her living room, and she's going to town on my dick. Tells me to cum in her mouth, which I scoff at, since there was no chance I was going to cum due to drunkenness/lack of attraction. Then blank. Then a fuzzy memory of her riding me. Then waking up with one of the worst hangovers I've ever had, looking over at her broad back, gagging, grabbing my South Park boxers and throwing up in the bathroom. Then I see it. My entire crouch, minus my actual dick, which she was kind enough to put a condom on, is covered in her period blood. Can still remember the look of horror I gave myself in the mirror. You know those "scrubbing away the shame" shower scenes in low brow comedy movies? Yeah, that. Funny part was when I grabbed my clothes, she wakes up enough to tell me that she "has people coming over", so I should get going. I was insulted that she felt she had to lie to get me to leave. Like I wanted to hop on for round two?! I sat in the sun waiting for a cab out of punishment.

    The real regret in that one is that at some point, she said that her and our smoking hot co-worker had talked about having a threesome with me. Not sure about the threesome part, but other co-workers corroborated that hot co-worker was in fact into me. Goddamnit.
     
  2. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    By biggest regret was that I was never in a band.
     
  3. katokoch

    katokoch
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    I was A. Waiting and just wasn't 100% committed to doing it, and B. Would have definitely suffered from whiskey dick too.
     
  4. PenetrationStation

    PenetrationStation
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    Experienced Idiot

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    You dudes is wack. I have NEVER turned down sex when it was clearly being offered.
     
  5. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
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    Go back and read the thread again.
     
  6. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    I'm assuming by your post that hasn't happened very often.
     
  7. Parker

    Parker
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    I turned it down when I feel like the chick was going to try and flip it into a relationship. I should have fucked this tall volleyball chick in college with a ridiculous body. Didn't do it because I was with my HS love of my life who was cheating on me at the time. That pisses me off.

    I regret not hooking up with this cute Indian chick earlier in the year my senior year of college, everyone knew her, she talked a lot and I was afraid of losing my 11k Resident Assistant gig so I kept putting her off until the year was over and the dorms were empty. I hit her up, had her come over, she played coy then proceeded to punish me, wouldn't take her shirt fully off but made me suck on her tits for like 30 minutes, then basically made me fight to take her pants down and eat her out, as soon as she got hers, she grabbed my dick was too big and would hurt her. Then briskly walked right out the fucking room leaving me with blue balls. Still wanted to be friends though like nothing happen.

    The biggest miss of my life was when I was at this bar, and there was a group of hot chicks trying to collect emails for some tobacco company. I was completely fucking clueless, as she kept coming up to talk at length about random shit. Mentioned how she had a huge TV, loved watching sports, was leaving in a month, didn't have a boyfriend, loved to just hangout, told some sexy lesbian story, then when she told me she was leaving, did the 10 seconds longer than usual handshake. Of course it clicked 5 minutes after she said bye and she was gone. Fucking idiot. That would have been the hottest and easiest piece of ass in my life.
     
  8. PenetrationStation

    PenetrationStation
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    I'm assuming by your amount of posts that it happens to you even less. Come off it.
     
  9. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Come off what?

    I dont understand your urban wigger slang
     
  10. xrayvision

    xrayvision
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    Don't be jealous of his 4th grade reading ability.
     
  11. PenetrationStation

    PenetrationStation
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    Let me clean up my diction for you. Your post just seemed to be shooting for some low-hanging fruit. i.e., this person used slang in their post, so I'm going to insinuate that no one would want to have sex with him. My reply suggesting that you don't get laid much because you are always on the boards was meant to be a parody of the type of personal attack you employed.

    I didn't intend to present myself as some type of sexual god--I have probably had fewer sexual partners than most of the people who post here because I'm younger than many. I was just surprised by the number of people who turned down sex when it was being offered to them directly. In some cases, they did not articulate a clear reason for doing so. I found this very foreign to my experience, which I am willing to grant is very impulsive and irresponsible. Hence, you dudes is wack.

    In regard to my reading comprehension skills, I read the entire thread. Some people explained that they did not pick up on the signals, and some people told stories about how they presented with an opportunity for sex (or at least a situation with a high potential for sex) and turned it down. My comment was directed at this second category of responses. Here are some examples.

    These are on the first page.
     
  12. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Projection is often a result of insecurity.
     
  13. dieformetal

    dieformetal
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    Hurricanes Are My Bitch

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    It's showing.
     
  14. wexton

    wexton
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    I was working at the video store this smoking hot woman came in, short white skirt, nice tits. It was fairly dead, and I cant remember how but I ended up talking with her for a bit. It was fairly obvious that she was hitting on me, and I had no problem flirting back. When she left, my co-worker who is now my wife(wasn't dating her, and wouldn't be for 1-1.5 years) said "dam, she wanted you to take her home." "I know, but I don't cheat." I was in a 5-5.5 year relationship at the time, less then 12 hours later, she dumped me. So I file this under an opportunity I didn't take. I don't cheat, I know I was in a relationship at the time, but if I ever went back in time, I would of tried to make some advances on her.

    Thou I do have to thank my ex, without her breaking up with me then I may have never gotten together with my wife. But i always wonder what would of happened if I would of been single that night.
     
  15. Omegaham

    Omegaham
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    I had a thing going with a woman who was twice my age. I was 21, she was 43. She wasn't hot; just a mom who liked to fuck younger guys.

    I learned after a little bit that it's a really, really bad idea to date women who are way older than you. Fuck? No problem. Have a sugar-mama? Go right ahead. Legitimately date? Nope nope nope.

    I don't regret the sex, but I regret the emotional involvement that culminated in "Where the hell is this leading" and a lot of anger from her.