Easter, bitches!!! WDT (NSFW)

Lake Louise is a must if you can make time for it, but Banff on its own may be the most beautiful place on Earth. Be sure to take the cable car ride while there.

Calgary is my favourite city on this side of the Earth. Awesome, period. A bar scene not to rivalled combined with shitloads of sights and sounds and great people, I want to be living there RIGHT NOW.

Vancouver is completely awesome too. I haven't been in a long time but people who go there don't want to leave. If you look closely you might see an Asian person while there. I remember them having a kick-ass Canada Day parade.

 

Like others have said taking the transcanada through the national parks can be stupid busy. It's a really beautiful drive with lots to see. If you have the time, take the drive up to lillooet, through Pemberton, Whistler, and down the Sea to Sky to Vancouver. I did that drive last year and the stretch from Cache Creek to Whistler was amazing.

If you're early in Banff, (before 10am) I would skip the banff springs and go out to Moraine Lake or Lake Louise instead. If you go to the banff springs, you can walk into the hotel and look around, just ask the concierge and they'll tell you all the areas you have access to. If you want to do some short walks in the area, there's lots of those. Bow Falls in town is good, so is Lower Bankhead (Ghost Town on the Minnewanka Loop), or Lake Minnewanka and Stewart Canyon hike (about 20 mins one way).

If you want to do some longer hikes in the Banff/Yoho area, send me a PM and I can give some more options.

In Glacier National Park, I always like stopping at the Giant Cedars boardwalk (it's a short 15 or 20 minute walk). You can stop at the Rogers Pass Summit, but it's usually pretty busy. Revelstoke has a train museum that's pretty interesting. You can also stop at Craigellachie which is the site of the last spike for the CPR railroad (it's west of Revelstoke).

In Yoho National Park you can stop at Spiral Tunnels, but it can also be stupid busy. Somebody told me it's the most popular pit stop on the transcanada. If you have the time go up to Takakkaw Falls, it's about 15 minutes off of the highway. Emerald Lake is also really scenic.

You can also take Highway 3 through the Crowsnest pass and follow the southern route, it joins up with the Transcanada in Hope, BC. I think it's a far more scenic drive than taking the transcanada. It is longer by about 3 hours. Make sure you take Hwy 22 south out of Calgary instead of #2. The road is sandwiched between Mountains on the West and Ranch's to the east. You can detour from Creston north up highway 3A and take a ferry across Kootenay Lake, go through Nelson, and join back up with Highway 3 in Castlegar. That piece of highway is in the top 10 stretches of road in North America for driving (motorcycles especially).

A few people mentioned the stampede. Stupid fun, go to the rodeo, go for pancake breakfasts, and go watch some of the bands playing. It might be a little low key this year with the price of oil being so low, but our dollar is low too, so it's tough to tell.

 

Like I said Juice, Lake Louise is a must. The top-notch hotel on the shore is the Chateau Lake Louise, and the rock flour causes the entire Lake Of The Little Fishes to shimmer with a ghostly turquoise illumination:

 

Oh, Archer. So amazingly quotable about a wide variety of things.

 

Truthfully if you drive the ice fields there are much prettier places.

 

Remember the #ManInTree? He's been charged with malicious mischief and assault.

If he makes bail he's ordered to have no contact with the tree.

 

Sigh. Feel like getting frustrated?

So, woman confronts stranger she has never met, demands he cut off his dreadlocks because of "culture appropriation". She asks Inspector Gadget for scissors at one point, physically assaults stranger, physically assault person filming, now plays victim card. Of COURSE.

Welcome to college.



You know, I think dreads are silly on us honks as well, but fuck this stupid self-righteous cunt. They guy made a point: Egyptians had dreads, Greeks, Celts, Gauls, Germanic, etc. had dreadlocks. He should have fucking smacked her for laying hands on him, I wish he did.

 

Are you fucking kidding me? One of the passengers on the hijacked plane took a selfie with the hijacker.

https://news.vice.com/article/briti...er-while-still-on-plane?utm_source=vicenewsfb

 

He must have somme long-ass arms to take a selfie, it appears somebody actually took his phone and took the photo. I hope it went like EVERY borrowed phone photo: "Oh shit it's on video. So I push the screen or the button? NOT the button? Now Im on the home screen, the camera's gone. How do I zoom out, I can't see the bomb. Can I just take one with my phone and message it you you? Etc."

The more I read this story the more I almost pity the hijacker. Of course he DID scare the shit of the entire world, so judge for yourself.

 

I forgot there were a couple pieces of KFC Nashville Hot Chicken left in the fridge. Despite getting violently sick off it Saturday, I had another piece. Which I covered in more hot sauce. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.

Now we play the waiting game.

 

I don't know what you're doing now but I know what you'll be doing in an hour.

Shitting. You'll be shitting. A lot.

 

The Husband signs new contract on Thursday. It'll take us to (should take us to) Washington.
I'm ready for some west coast.

 

Never a dull moment:

Cops all over the neighborhood, helicopter circling...

I guess the cops tried to pull a guy over and he stopped right behind my truck and the driver and passenger bailed. Leaving 4 little kids in the car. I heard one cop yelling at the kid's mother on the phone "YOU WILL ANSWER ME! I HAVE YOUR KIDS!" It looks like they're just waiting for CPS to come pick up the kids before they tow the car.

And I live in a nice neighborhood. Fuck this town.

 

So how fucked up is this.

I work hard, but no harder than most of you. As a result I spend a good amount of time on the road, but all in all, maybe one week away every two months.

When I found out my father had inoperable cancer I was at a client meeting.

When I found out my wife's best friend was brain dead after a severe asthma attack I was at a client meeting.

Today I found out our cat, who is 14 and my wife adores, is dying of kitty cancer (which sounds way more adorable than it is) and il probably fly home, drive to the vet, and have her put to sleep. And I'm at client meetings this week.

 

Now you play the game, the game of spray and pray. Also, some blood is going to show up on your toilet paper.

 

I agree, but then it would become a "hate crime."
What she did was straight-up assault (according to the law), even though the guy didn't get hurt.
(Reverse the genders and races, and see how well it would play out.)
I guess by that woman's standards, black women shouldn't bleach/straighten their hair...

 

When I was a dishwasher in HS we called the juice that leaked from the garbage smegma. I just googled 'smegma' and somehow the real meaning is grosser.