Tom88 has it right on the money. The gin and tonic is fucking awesome. I've got class at 8 am with no reading due to having a guest speaker (the dude who prosecuted the likes of OJ and Paris Hilton) and should've been writing a paper this evening. I decided to enjoy a bottle of wine instead. What a lovely Thursday evening.
The booze fairy is like the tooth fairy, except instead of a tooth you trade hated work memories for blissful peace.
Last year I made el husband a big Easter basket. And then I ate it all by myself. So, we're not celebrating this year.
I'm a couple pages late, but I went to Punta Cana last summer and was rather unimpressed, it was my first time outside of the states. All they had was one type of local beer that wasn't very good and a bunch of domestic brands of various liquores. And fucking pepsi, so I couldn't even get a whisky coke. I couldn't get past one pina colada either. At this rate I'm really not interested in traveling outside of the country again anytime soon.
I used to drink all that kind of shit, Gin 'n tonics, Vodka tonics, etc. Then I realized that it all tasted terrible. Now it's either beer, Sailor Jerry and coke, or scotch.
Anybody that drinks gin may as well just drink perfume. I'd rather give a bum a rimjob than drink gin. I just want it to be the weekend already. I'm tired of pretty much everything.
Both. Because the majority of bartenders are fucking idiots that can't balance a drink to save their lives. But God forbid you under tip them for fucking up the menu at their own place; you might as well find another bar. (No, it's not like I order something during peek hours.) The martini is a precarious balance of two fine ingredients. OK, takes practice. The mojito requires a balance of sugar and lime and rum or the whole thing tastes like raw booze. You can't just throw one lime's juice into the thing, you need a solid ounce to balance the sugar and rum. Then there are the places using goopy sour mix. Fuck. That. Shit. Don't waste your money. They also get pissed down here if you order anything other than beer. "You mean I have to know my shit?" Fucking useless. This is probably my biggest bitch. It's getting to the point where you can't get a highball drink that isn't watered down. Bartender at a place I frequent couldn't make a gin and seltzer to save her life. Couldn't pour the 1.5 ounce standard properly, then drowned it in seltzer. One doesn't need to be a serious, stuck up his ass mixologist. One's bar doesn't even need to have a working bathroom or stools that don't slice your nuts with broken springs. Just know your fucking shit like a professional. It isn't that fucking hard when most drinks can be made in 30 seconds.
I still come out that rum is harder to work with. I've never had someone say 'I'll take a rum, on the rocks.' Ever. Why? Because rum is not an easy liquor to work with by itself. It doesn't taste very good. That's why when people drink it, they invariably drown that shit with stuff that tastes better. Hence, I come out the mojito is a better judge of a bartender than a martini. A martini, sahara dry, is one thing (booze) with a wash of vermouth on the glass. Not hard at all. While there are some martinis that are tougher than a mojito, they are few and far between. Just my two cents. And rum sucks. Before you yell and scream, when's the last time you drank it straight? Yeah, probably never, why? Because it sucks by itself. Consequently, though we have Jaeger, I refuse to serve it. Some souls can't be bought. EDIT:This will melt your jaded hearts.
I will second that. Rum is wonderful with island drinks, but it's sewage straight. I don't think I've ever seen anybody drink it straight except for wink charter fishing boat skippers. What is it with boat dudes and rum, anyway?
This is just fine, if a wee bit harmful, straight: I had one of these for the first time a week or so ago. Not bad, but a little girly. Pancakes With Syrup 3/4 oz Jameson or Irish Whiskey 3/4 oz Butterscotch Schnapps 1 oz Orange Juice Combine Irish Whiskey and Butterscotch Schnapps, shake and strain. Consume shot and chase with orange juice. Tastes just like pancakes with syrup!
Everything I ever wanted to know about rum (and ever will) comes from one bottle, and unfortunetly Americans don't have easy (or any) access to it: Spoiler ...first time I tried a Daq mixed with it was at Hemmingway's bar, La Floridita (they invented the drink in this bar). It had a brass, life-sized statue of him sitting at his favourite stool at the end of the bar. It only cost me about $30 for one of his "Papa Doubles" (I was given 15 min. to drink it or be thrown out) which take the roof off your mouth if you're not ready. Here ya go, Black Jesus:
Yeah, well Nylar is like pest control chemicals or something. But, don't be afraid of Mylar. In addition to the awesome never-deflating balloons, emergency warming blankets (thanks NASA inventers!) and Pop Tart wrappers (and that's 'wrapper' with a "w" - not "AWWW, I GOT ME A POP TART, I EAT IT IN THE MORNIN, BETTER THAN THE FLAKES THAT ARE MADE FROM CORN AND, I'M CHUGGIN" DOWN MY COFFEE AS I'M HEADED OUT THE DOOR, STAYED UP LATE CUZ I'Z BANGIN' SOME WHORE" rapper), mylar was used in place of vellum to create permanent engineering / architectural drawings for making blueprints. Which, alas, has gone the way of the typewriter. Mylar sheets used to be coated in formaldehyde, so opening a cabinet full of original drawings was always an olfactory delight.
Fuck Good Friday. Everywhere was closed by 10pm tonight, except the Casino, which everyone knew to go to.