Against my better judgment, I threw a football with the boyfriend for an hour. I throw like an ewok and can't catch to save my life. Like, I ran from the ball repeatedly. Also, i feel like I might have dislocated my shoulder and sprained a finger. WHY DO PEOPLE PLAY THIS SPORT?
This why "people" shouldn't and Football Players do my dear. Ice the shoulder and tape the finger to it's buddy.
I like to play this really mature game where, if I know one of my friends is on a date, I like to text them something really weird and ridiculous, and then giggle imagining them opening the text while seated across from their date and trying to hide their reaction, and then their game will be thrown off for the rest of the night.
Rep for my last post that I thought I'd share: Charles Johnson made me giggle. Thanks. And to make it up to our maple leaf friends:
Obviously you-- a WOMAN-- don't admire the thrill and comradere of stiff-arming your best friend's nose four inches from where it originally was while wearing cold, soaked sneakers and sweat pants. That's MAN shit. ...truly, TRULY fixed that for you.
Amputee 'tard porn is more fun. The ONLY time I can enjoy it at all is when the audition those oxygen-deprived creatures of the night in the first couple weeks. As for the rest, I'd like to drag them by the hair (kicking and screaming) into a Urban Outfitter and beat them to death with a pair of acid-washed jeans.
Woooooooooooooo!!! BeER! WHOOOOOOAAAA WHOOOOOA! WAAAAAA-oooooooooooooooooooo! OOOOOO HEAVAN IS A PLACEON EAAAAAAAARTH! .. I just had to wax my wife's stuff.
Id like to say fuck you for playing that Brazilian music and causing me to go into a PSTD trance. In Shanghai the CD vendors would bike up to my brothers block and blare that shit morning, day, and night. I heard a Lisa Ono song for 10 months straight on repeat. I think it was set up as a secret trigger to on a killing spree for Uncle Mao. I spent an hour looking for that single song but can't find it. Lisa Ono, no relation to Yoko, is an insanely talented Brazilian born Japanese singer who plays bossa nova. Sort of a latin jazz you'd hear at really rich peoples home while they were cooking dinner or say over the closing credits of Mad Men, basically a latin Nora Jones. It's actually quite good but fuck if I didn't want to murder that street vendor blaring that song all day. edit: I think the woman singing that song you posted is the same singer Im talking about.
You should read 'Winner Take All Politics." It should in a roundabout way provide answers to the foregoing.
If you're looking for a sexual partner that can dominate you and penetrate you against your will, why not try prison? It might be just what you're craving. Me? I have a couple of hard and fast rules about women I'll sleep with: 1) You cannot weigh more than me, and for the record, I'm 203 lbs. 2) You cannot be able to kick my ass without a weapon. I don't care if you weigh 120 lbs, but know that Tae Kwan Weird Ass UFC shit and can put me down in 1.3 seconds. Not sexy, not sleeping with you.
I get the feeling you posting rules about the women you'd sleep with is about as relevant as me posting rules about the type of spaceships I'd pilot to Mars.