Oh my God. If you would have seen me knock my head on the corner of the cabinet over the toilet 15 seconds after I personally opened it this morning, you would not have coordination or physical grace of any sort in this fantasty of yours. Seriously, what is the matter with me? I've done this same junk about 10 times in both the bathroom AND the kitchen. I don't have much surroundings awareness.
My friend had a trampoline and a pool in his back yard. His was the house we spent every spare moment at. There was none of that netting around the trampoline bullshit, either. There was a thin padding, that was stretched out so it really only covered about half of the metal bar at a time. We tried to institute a "no popping" rule ("popping" was when you jumped just right to launch the other person about ten feet in the air), but that was rarely followed. I can recall having "wrestling" matches back there because we were big WWF fans, and we'd beat the hell out of each other. We had no qualms beating each other stupid. I kicked my buddy in the gut and knocked him right off. I was thrown from the trampoline and on to the ground by two friends who lifted me over their heads. Another friend broke his wrist when he tried a wrestling move. We'd push it up to the pool and jump from the trampoline into the pool, until his parents put an end to that (they were afraid of us landing on the side of the pool, thus breaking the pool). The absolute worst was jumping really high and landing awkwardly on the metal bar around the edge, usually resulting in sprained ankles and, in one case, a broken leg. Falling off the trampoline and getting hurt was a right of passage, every single one of my friends fell off that thing at one point or another and got hurt. That said, I would never own one or get one for my kid, as parents are too lawsuit happy. If kids today did what we were doing? I guarantee lawsuits would come of it, and the owners of the trampoline would get sued because little Timmy fell off and got an ouchie.
I'd think a trampoline is probably safer than the childhood diabetes your kid will get from sitting in front of the X-Box all summer. There might be a high risk of injury with a trampoline, but the injuries have a pretty low cap. Odds of a sever injury are extremely low. Falling down and hurting yourself when you're younger is a necessary part of developing good risk assessment skills as an adult. I think it actually makes you less risk adverse, because you learn that while it does suck to break your arm, the pain goes away, the bone mends, and you're ultimately no worse for wear. Never getting injured makes you overestimate how much an injury sucks.
So I go into the kitchen in search of whiskey. There are no lights on. I go the the table and feel something on my shin. I am reasonably certain that it is the table cloth. I turn on the lights to open up said bottle of whiskey. I look down. Fucking centipede midway up my shin. I bitch slap that motherfucker. He retreats to the corner behind the table. He tries to flank me along the wall. I cut him off and he charges me like he is ready for Valhalla. I go American History X on his ass. I then do the dosey doe for good measure. Finally death comes for him. I left him in the middle of the kitchen as a warning to the others vlad the impaler style. But now I am unsure if the feeling in my shin is a) the residual effects of me slapping the shit out of myself or b) just me freaking the fuck out.
I like to ask people like this: "So, when you were younger did you attend birthday parties that had pinatas?" "Yes." "Did you beat those pinatas with a stick?" "Yes." "Did the act of beating those pinatas turn you into a violent human being?" "Nope." "So why can't your kids have them?" "HURRDURRHERRRATIONALIZATION"
I amend my last post. Anyone like listening to the rain? <a class="postlink" href="http://www.rainymood.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.rainymood.com/</a>
This song pairs fairly well with rainymood. There was also a site that played jazz piano or something that was perfect for it as well, but I can't remember the name of it.
I'm watching the replay of the snl with gotye as the musical guest and after some quick internet research... Kimbra, the backup singer on the song "I used to know", is my new crush. That is all.
I'm so tired of drunken conversations in general...especially drunken conversations about philosophy. Such nonsense, mostly from myself... Just can it with the seriousness, Sam. Can't we all just do dumb things and laugh and stuff!!
I went out with my mentor tonight, which is interesting since her drink of choice is tequila. Straight. I need to ask her what it was because it was so smooth, and I feel fabulous. None of this sugary, margarita headache nonsense.
I found the best butcher shop ever and it's like six blocks from my house. So last night, I got down and dirty with one of the best t-bone steaks I've ever had. Today I'll nurse the hangover, have lunch with the family, and suck at baseball because of both of those things.
If you're worried about personal injury, yet dislike the safety cages they put around trampolines nowadays, THIS is the way to go. Bury it so it's at ground level. Then, you can have true battle royales on it.