The first time you poot in front of a guy is the worst. At least, I imagine it would be. I don't do that. I get really annoyed when he won't accept my burping though, but even then I don't do it until we're really comfortable with each other. It's like a sign of affection.
Strange moment of the day- I found out that one of the camera guys I've been working with is the lead guitarist for Thursday. What the fuck?
Not to re-hash from the last page, but TX - invest in this stuff and keep it in your purse: Trust me.
So, correct me if I'm wrong, but does this mean that you carry around with you a special personal odor eliminator in case you have to poop in the vicinity of men? Ladies, be people. Come on, this is ridiculous. Guys want you to, I want you to. It's ok, you are allowed. Be a person.
I'm not even sure how this works? Do you take your dump, then put a drop in the bowl? then it somehow assasinates the shit particles or something. I'm confused. Do you spray it in the air? ..drink it?
I bought a new pepper mill. This is the most exciting thing to happen to me since I bought flannel sheets a week ago. By the way, flannel sheets? The tits. I can't recommend them highly enough.
QuikTrip is the king of gas stations. They have crushed ice and the cleanest, most comfortable bathroom facilities. The toilets probably use about 50 gallons per flush. Plus, the employees are trained to be just -this close- to annoyingly friendly and cheerful.
That's why you get them for the winter. On a cold night, they help you forget about having to walk through -20 temperatures to work the next morning.
It's because Zyron doesn't live in an igloo, or the tundra*. In other news, Guinness is now being made in South Africa. Fancy that. My dad got a large bottle for R10! This bottle is about 2x the size of the can, for what is close to $1.50. I am tempted to take one for myself, since I was offered... The trade-off is I'll fart like a fucking howitzer for a few hours afterwards... *I know of a very good part of Billy Connolly's 1994 show that involved a frozen fart but I can't find the fucking link on youtube (I own a dvd of that show)
My wife should have gone into comedy, she would be the best straight woman in the business: Me: 'La Perra Negra?' Dahlia walks into the living room. Wife: 'I know 'negra' is black, what's the rest of it?' Me: 'Black Dog' Wife: 'Oh, I took French' Me: 'That'll come in useful if we need to surrender to the Germans.' Wife: ....
Really? Even my fat ass loves flannel sheets in winter. Do you heat the hell out of your place or something?
No, temperature set at 62 F. I am a skinny fuck but I like it to be cool. I even have to crack a window sometimes because my nose gets stuffed up when I get hot.
...oops! Oh no you di-int, girlfran! Of course it's being made there! I mean, just look at a glass of it and tell me it doesn't just SCREAM "South African history": EDIT: Just to add. Zyron is maybe 100 miles south of ghetto, which means diddly-dick.
Kickass! I've always heard that the US gets the worst Guinness. Does anyone know if that's true? In other news, Mega Rave: I'VE GOT TICKETS TO SEE SOCIAL FUCKIN' DISTORTION AND THE MOTHERFUCKIN' TOADIES!!! YEAH BITCHES! Live at the Concrete Street Amphitheater in Corpus Christi, on Cinco de Mayo.
You'd prefer to shit in a gas station bathroom that is open to truckers and vagrants, but not the guy's house? Presumably there has already been a fairly significant sharing of fluids, just use the bathroom for Christ's sake.
Don't listen to him, TX. I'll give you a vision of the future. You will use his bathroom. Because you're backed up, you'll cause such a clog that the plumber will come out. He will know. Your boyfriend will know. The plumber (and your now ex-boyfriend) will tell their friends that you are a destructive pooper. Because you're now known as a DP (Destructive Pooper), no one will go out with you. You will be shamed and shunned. Like you were Amish, just without the sexy outfits. No one wants to date a destructive pooper. DON'T DO IT!!!! Invest in a cork.