I just took my dog for 6 mile walk on the lakefront, which was delightful and beautiful, except that now I have a GIANT fucking blister on the ball of my foot. What the fuck, body? Also, my stupid dog seems no more tired than when we embarked on this trip. All I want is a nap.
Question to the ladies out of morbid curiosity: Why shave your vag but not your b-hole? The only reason I ask is because I hooked up with a beautiful girl the other night who was shaved but had one of the hairiest poopchutes I'd ever seen. It was almost coming out of her crack! I wondered if she knew and didn't care and it got me thinking that if you already make the effort to shave the pubes, why not just go completely bare everywhere down there?
Hipsters? I noticed guys are wearing cut off jeans now. Capri style. It's really fucking queer. Especially when they wear a v-neck striped t-shirt that's two sizes too big. I'm not sure who condoned this style, but it looks filthy. Like a cross between a hippie, Eurotrash, and female trailer trash. Also, Yuengling is the new PBR. Because it's cheap and not Bud product. However, if Yuengling or PBR cannot be found, High Life will be purchased. Some varieties of douche will purposely purchase the High Life if either of the former are available because they are too popular. Taste has nothing to do with it. If those festering cunt sores drive up the price of my Yuengling I will personally skull fuck every hipster I meet then piss on their brain.
So, two possible explanations come to mind. One is ease of shaving. It's not that simple to get a good shave in the back without accidentally turning the razor just slightly in the wrong direction and having something go horribly wrong, but you have pretty good control over the whole front area. This is a major reason I wax. It could also just be that when she thinks about a hookup, she's only thinking about the presentation of the part with which you will be actively interacting. It might not even really be occurring to her to shave the back.
I have been drinking a shit ton of Yeungling the last few months pretty much due to the fact that it hasn't been available in Ohio until a few months ago. Haven't noticed it reached PBR hipster status around here, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did. If I see it being sold at the next concert I go to in tall boy cans, then we may have a problem.
Applying for a job here is one of the questions: They also want full employment history for the last 10 years, every address where I have resided for the past 10 years and full names of every person I have ever lived with. Whatever you say, Big Brother. But does this shit apply to a 24 year old? Should I give them everything since age 18? After I graduated college at 22?
Jesus, are you applying for political office? Gonna have access to unsupervised children? What kind of employment app asks those questions? And say "yes" to committing a criminal act, then cop to speeding and occasionally double parking.
It is a police dispatch job. It makes a little more sense that way, but holy hell they are the cops: shouldn't they be able to figure out if I am a fucking criminal on their own? But fuck them. I haven't even had a fucking traffic ticket in over 5 years. My record is immaculate.
Gravy, I've had questions like that on applications for retail, office monkey, and courier. People are getting retarded with this. I like to think it's because the schools and work force churn out increasingly unreliable, uneducated folk, and not to take it personally. For police dispatch, I can see why they want a thorough history. You hire a jerkass or a lout, someone, possibly a cop, is going to fucking DIE.
This should have been posted by TX. Also, Subway is the biggest goddamn ripoff. Any proper sandwich/sub joint gives you twice as much meat as these assholes.
I see the point of being thorough, but I find this excessive. I do the same job now (granted it's for a much smaller agency) and when I applied for this one they didn't need all of this info. 10 years ago I was 14 and mowing lawns for little old ladies. Do they want/need to know about that?
How else are they going to keep their calorie/meal count down? Stop serving Pepsi and potato chips? HA! In all seriousness, I'll eat at goddamn Wendy's over Subway. Not that either one is really a first choice, but Subway is seriously underperforming.
"In descending order of frequency: habitual jaywalker, occasional public urinator, infrequent public masturbator." It's probably partially this, but also just as much the fact that they really don't want to see the headline "Police Employee Steals Baby, Jerks Off On Its Face." Bad PR for any office, but terrible PR for the police.
Wendy's isn't that bad, as far as fast food goes. At least, not in Calgary. Lots of fresh salads and the burgers are okay. Oddly, there are only TWO Wendy's in this entire city. On every street corner everywhere else, but none here.
"Look, I'm not the kind of asshole that beats it every time a toddler gets changed in public, I save it for the real shit like a chick breast feeding out in the open or a girl in a mini skirt bending over."
I just saw the movie Shame, and I kind of don't know what to say about it. Michael Fassbender should have been nominated for best actor though, and I am not just saying that because he has a large peen.
Worst is the veggie sub. They give you 4 half slices of cheese for a footlong and charge you the same as the other sandwiches. I have to ask for double extra cheese and be charged for it.
Subway stopped caring when they overtook McDonalds for the most prolific fast food joint in the world. Subways are all over the fucking place. Wendy's definitely is my top fast food place. Burgers are good, they have far and away the best value menu, and they are the only fast food place with decent and remotely healthy salads.