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Eff It-The 2011 CANADA DAY Drunk Thread!6/30/11 4th of what?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Jun 30, 2011.

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  1. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Dibs on swing!

    I learned last night, a transgendered lesbian guy lady has an entire photoshoot of my balls hanging out of my boxer briefs. Includes a fruitbowl shot. Never drinking gin again... around her.
     
    #381 CharlesJohnson, Jul 3, 2011
  2. mya

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    I want the slide!

    And transgendered lesbian guy lady. So exactly what is this creature? Pre-op? Post-op? Originally male? Originally female? Balls are balls, see them everyday, but this is something .... um....different.
     
    #382 mya, Jul 3, 2011
  3. CharlesJohnson

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    I... I don't know. It looks like a guy, but has tits. It has a big clit apparently, but sounds like Jerry Lewis on crack. GLAVIN. So I just don't ask questions. Fun chick though. Sweetheart. But I just want to shake her after 6 beers, screaming WHAT ARE YOOOUUUUU.

    Not ignorant. I swear.
     
    #383 CharlesJohnson, Jul 3, 2011
  4. ghettoastronaut

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    Friend: ... hey bewildered, do you know what finger blasting is?
    Bewildered: Yeah.
    Friend: So what is it?
    Bewildered: Well... it's when a girl gets fingered.
    Friend: Fingered? Like how?
    Bewildered: You don't know what fingering is?
    Friend: Well, I have an idea of what it is, but I feel like I kind of need a demonstration of what that is exactly.

    If you'll excuse me, I'll be back in a few minutes.
     
    #384 ghettoastronaut, Jul 3, 2011
  5. CharlesJohnson

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    It doesn't happen like that.

    There's white zinfandel and Kenny G involved too.
     
    #385 CharlesJohnson, Jul 3, 2011
  6. bewildered

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    My definition was "very enthusiastic fingering."
     
    #386 bewildered, Jul 3, 2011
  7. Dcc001

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    That sounds painful.
     
    #387 Dcc001, Jul 3, 2011
  8. mya

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    You forgot the pillow fights. There are always pillow fights.

    I need to meet your friend CharlesJohnson. I have a way with just asking things.

    OR....for a more interesting idea

    he/she seems to like you. Take one for the team and report back please. We (ok, I) am fascinated.
     
    #388 mya, Jul 3, 2011
  9. bewildered

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    Leather vaginas, go!
     
    #389 bewildered, Jul 3, 2011
  10. ghettoastronaut

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    I believe you now owe me one erection. Is your offer for a half-price prostate exam still valid?
     
    #390 ghettoastronaut, Jul 3, 2011
  11. mya

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    Nah, that was a June only offer. This month, I can trial you on Staxyn. Have you seen that yet? Levitra but comes in gum packaging and dissolves under your tongue like a breath mint. Clever marketing tricks.
     
    #391 mya, Jul 3, 2011
  12. bewildered

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    #392 bewildered, Jul 3, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. CharlesJohnson

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    You are not my friend. Friends are supposed to watch out for each other. Instead... instead I get this? Psssssh.

    I'll be gentle. As gentle as Kenny G with a 6 hour priapsim. Feel my curls, they are soft and soothing. Listen to my sax...
     
    #393 CharlesJohnson, Jul 3, 2011
  14. ghettoastronaut

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    I don't think we have that yet, but let me know when that patent expires and they make it with only the dextro-rotary isomer. Because that's going to make the plain old racemic mixture seem like crap in comparison, I'm sure.
     
    #394 ghettoastronaut, Jul 3, 2011
  15. mya

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    Oh please, speak in English, we don't care about crap like that. Is it effective? What are the side affects/interactions? Can my patients afford it and if not, what are the other options? If I started rattling off shit like that to my patients they would look at me like I was speaking in tongues. If you are dealing with the public on a daily basis, I suggest that you learn to speak in terms that they can understand instead of trying to show them how "smart" you are. (and to answer the next question, hell yes, I am a little cranky)

    CharlesJohnson, a true friend would not let this mystery go unsolved. A few minutes of your life, no harm, no foul. If there is a little penis there, just flick it out of the way and focus on the boobs. I'll offer you the Staxyn as well if that will help you get through the "research"
     
    #395 mya, Jul 3, 2011
  16. CharlesJohnson

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    I'mma do it. I'mma jack that little penis clit while looking her in the eye.

    Fuck I'm still drunk.
     
    #396 CharlesJohnson, Jul 3, 2011
  17. Gravitas

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    Justify it all you want, buddy.
     
    #397 Gravitas, Jul 3, 2011
  18. CharlesJohnson

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    Whatever, Rick Rubin. I'mma be rolling all up in... whatever that is. With some big clenis. You'll be cleaning out a meth head's clogged toilet with your fingers. I'll send you some pictures. You'll know it's me because I will give you the thumbs up.

    Don't hate.
     
    #398 CharlesJohnson, Jul 3, 2011
  19. mya

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    For some reason, I feel really proud right now.
     
    #399 mya, Jul 3, 2011
  20. Gravitas

    Gravitas
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    I can't imagine the shit you convince your husband to do for "the team."
     
    #400 Gravitas, Jul 3, 2011
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