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Eff It-The 2011 CANADA DAY Drunk Thread!6/30/11 4th of what?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Jun 30, 2011.

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  1. zyron

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    They open the vaults of an Indian temple for the first time in almost 150 years and find 11 Billion dollars worth of treasure.

    I say we go "Get the Gold".
     

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    #561 zyron, Jul 4, 2011
  2. hooker

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    I'm having American for dinner tonight, and I suspect there will be a lot of warm and awesome fireworks.
     
    #562 hooker, Jul 4, 2011
  3. Juice

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    There's nothing I'd rather sit through less than the slideshow of my cousins vacation. Fuck my God damn life.
     
    #563 Juice, Jul 4, 2011
  4. BL1Y

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    #564 BL1Y, Jul 4, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. kuhjäger

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    Some fucker decided to set off a mortar in the middle of the day right behind me. Gave me a heart attack.
     
    #565 kuhjäger, Jul 4, 2011
  6. StayFrosty

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    Strangely enough, I haven't heard many fireworks this year. Every past year I can remember, people were setting things off almost daily during the two weeks leading up to the 4th. This year I think I've heard maybe two bottle rockets.
     
    #566 StayFrosty, Jul 4, 2011
  7. Gravitas

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    It sucks it is so damn dry where I am.

    $200 automatic fine for shooting them off.
     
    #567 Gravitas, Jul 4, 2011
  8. Crown Royal

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    Happy birthday, U.S. Don't go blowing that $20 I left in your card on drugs tonight.

    Give them to me.

    In other news, the tumbling little high school shits behind me threw ANOTHER fucking party until 3am (we don't have Monday off), so I threw a lit brick of black cat firecrackers the size of a full rib rack over the fence into their little sewing circle. God, I love the sound of teenagers collectively screaming like girls.

    Explosions at night, Crown Royal's delight.
     
    #568 Crown Royal, Jul 4, 2011
  9. StayFrosty

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    Fuck me. No fireworks tonight, because going to the park alone even on the 4th is creeper behavior. I could sit on a blanket by myself for a 15 minute performance followed by an hour of navigating a mile drive, but I'd much rather stay home and get high. Wait, I have no weed. I'll drink. Wait, all I have are 5 Budweisers. Who wants to trade me for beer that doesn't suck (and give me a fucking headache before it gives a buzz)?
     
    #569 StayFrosty, Jul 4, 2011
  10. Gravitas

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    You better keep all that anti-american sentiment to yourself.

    No fireworks, no drugs, no booze...yep I just checked with the high council (Chuck Norris, Mike Rowe, and that dude who punched Snookie in the face) and they say that's grounds for revocation of citizenship.
     
    #570 Gravitas, Jul 4, 2011
  11. Noland

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    I'm having dinner with my mother and then I'll come home have a few drinks and watch the fireworks from the front porch and probably just go to bed. I suck.
     
    #571 Noland, Jul 4, 2011
  12. BL1Y

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    I have 8 mortar shells, 4 stick rockets, and 1 firework that looks like a hobby rocket, with fins and shit.

    I hope I don't blow myself up.
     
    #572 BL1Y, Jul 4, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. MoreCowbell

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    The preponderance of hipsters in Jamaica Plains (Boston) is staggering.

    Also, suck on our balls, Queen of England. You seem like a classy broad and all, but today, suck on our balls.


    This just proves what we all knew: a big set o' titties is magical.
     
    #573 MoreCowbell, Jul 4, 2011
  14. ghettoastronaut

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    I'd much rather Kate Middleton suck on my balls, but to each their own, I guess.
     
    #574 ghettoastronaut, Jul 4, 2011
  15. Juice

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    Youth and looks have nothin on decades of experience. Plus she can spit put her false teeth, so no worries about her chomping down if there's an earthquake or what have you.
     
    #575 Juice, Jul 4, 2011
  16. ghettoastronaut

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    You have a point there. Prince Philip hasn't stuck around for all these decades without a good reason.
     
    #576 ghettoastronaut, Jul 4, 2011
  17. Crown Royal

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    What about Camilla? For Charles to cheat on an attractive to woman like Diana with that Buck In Rut, it boggles the mind. She must be the greatest lay in the history of mankind. Seriously, she must do things to a man's cock that would make Abella Anderson look like your hand.
     
    #577 Crown Royal, Jul 4, 2011
  18. MoreCowbell

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    Ron Swanson is a great man who loves and understands America, and so should we all.


    Also, I heartily approve of the stylings of this snazzy couple:

    [​IMG]
     
    #578 MoreCowbell, Jul 4, 2011
  19. Omegaham

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    To modify your signature: "Pardon me, good sir, for I am most perplexed: is there some universe in which a plastic American flag tuxedo is not the epitome of class and fine breeding?"
     
    #579 Omegaham, Jul 4, 2011
  20. ghettoastronaut

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    Come to think of it, any female in the royal family who isn't divorced must be an absolute freak in the sack. Think about it: there's hardly a woman on earth who William couldn't bang. If you're one of those celebrity-culture zombies, you'll bang him. Not a celebrity culture zombie? His family defines what fuck-you rich means. Don't care about money? Up until recently, he was reportedly handsome with a full head of hair. Don't find him attractive? He flies a helicopter for the air force. Don't find soldiers attractive? He drives expensive cars and motorcycles and stays in the finest hotels, drinks at the finest clubs, sails in the finest yachts, attends the finest sporting events, rides the finest horses, and has a sophisticated British accent. Either he and Kate have a deal going on where she gets paid handsomely to appear the doting, pretty wife and he gets to have fun, or she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
     
    #580 ghettoastronaut, Jul 4, 2011
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