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Eff It-The 2011 CANADA DAY Drunk Thread!6/30/11 4th of what?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Jun 30, 2011.

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  1. iczorro

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    I've read a lot of memoirs written by a lot of people who felt the same way you do. Until they had kids. I don't remember the wording, but I remember Tim Allen putting it the best. Something along the lines of, "Suddenly you realize that this is why we're here. Dancing and partying and having a good time aren't the meaning of life. Stand up and join the family of man."

    I remember reading somewhere else the opinion that what you do in life doesn't matter if there's no one to pass it on to, and I can kinda see that. I'm personally an atheist, and I don't believe in any kind of afterlife. So the stuff that I do, and the experiences I have, the things I create, none of it will matter in the long run if it's not passed along to someone else. Granted, in the true long run of the universe, it won't actually matter for shit, but I assign it personal value based on the possibility of the betterment of future lives beccause of what I've done.

    Now who wants to go halves on a baby?
     
    #121 iczorro, Jul 1, 2011
  2. Juice

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    Why couldnt my high school graduation have been this awesome?

     
    #122 Juice, Jul 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  3. Blue Dog

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    I didn't plan on having a kid when I had one. But it is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I've never been happier.

    I guess its one of those things where you don't really know anything about it until you experience it yourself. If you don't want to, no problem, that's your choice. And sure, some things about it suck. But you can't just be told about the fulfillment it it gives you, and how it makes every single one of the negatives you listed irrelevant, at least in my opinion.

    I know that's pretty damn cliche, but its true, none-the-less.
     
    #123 Blue Dog, Jul 1, 2011
  4. BL1Y

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    College Humor finally paid me! I think that officially makes me a professional comedy writer.

    Fuck. I'm going to be poor forever.
     
    #124 BL1Y, Jul 1, 2011
  5. Juice

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    ZOMG WELCOME BACK BL1Y
     
    #125 Juice, Jul 1, 2011
  6. BL1Y

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    Dude, not so fucking loud.
     
    #126 BL1Y, Jul 1, 2011
  7. iczorro

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    I missed the link to your article. If you don't mind...?
     
    #127 iczorro, Jul 1, 2011
  8. BL1Y

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    I feel like I'm being subtly trolled, but whatever.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6482338/50-ways-to-bore-irritate-or-confuse-a-man" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.collegehumor.com/article/648 ... fuse-a-man</a>

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6182078/thats-no-moon-its-a-pr-failure" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.collegehumor.com/article/618 ... pr-failure</a>
     
    #128 BL1Y, Jul 1, 2011
  9. ghettoastronaut

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    To properly celebrate Canada Day, I'm going to help a friend move, being such a nice guy and all. And then pyrotechnics with the girlfriend (and then we'll go down to the lake and watch some fireworks, if you know what I mean).
     
    #129 ghettoastronaut, Jul 1, 2011
  10. Poopourri

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    Their pay scale sucks balls. As I understand it, 250,000+ page views gets you $250, and that's the cap. There's something to be said for getting your name out there, or if you're getting traffic to your site (are you in their link share?), but that's highway robbery for good content.

    I've made more in the last two months selling jokes I wrote on fucking napkins than I would have with an article sitting on their front page for a month.

    Most up and coming comedians are open to additional material, if it fits their voice. It's like writing a spec script, but you can actually sell it one line at a time. It's a pointless endeavor most of the time, but when you actually get a hit it's nice, and more often than not they end up coming back for more or sending you in the direction of someone else in need.
     
    #130 Poopourri, Jul 1, 2011
  11. BL1Y

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    How do you go about finding comedians to sell stuff to? There's not really a local stand up scene here, so meeting them that way isn't an option.

    And as for CH, yeah, it's not great pay, but this is stuff I was writing anyways. Not too much trouble to copy and paste it into their article submission thing. I'd do the whole "continue reading after the jump" thing to drive traffic, but CH readers aren't the target audience for Con Daily.

    It's nice bragging rights to be able to say you've had an article reach 250k hits. Not that you can eat bragging rights, but I'm trying to figure out how to work it into my MFA application.
     
    #131 BL1Y, Jul 1, 2011
  12. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    Um. God, I hope you meant on the show . . .
     
    #132 Rush-O-Matic, Jul 1, 2011
  13. Misanthropic

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    http://news.yahoo.com/pond-insect-loudest-animal-earth-131427758.html

    I gave this a shot, but all I heard was a swishing sound and my co-workers yelling for Human Resources to have me removed from the building.
     
    #133 Misanthropic, Jul 1, 2011
  14. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    Did you explain to them they hadn't heard parts 2 & 3 of the song yet?
     
    #134 Rush-O-Matic, Jul 1, 2011
  15. BL1Y

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    Is there anyone who truly hates Canadians?

    There are people who really hate Mexicans, the French, Arabs, the god damn Japs, Americans... But is there anyone who hates Canadians?
     
    #135 BL1Y, Jul 1, 2011
  16. ghettoastronaut

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    Quebeckers.
     
    #136 ghettoastronaut, Jul 1, 2011
  17. Poopourri

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    More often than not I just email them. Any comedian who is trying to make a career out of it has their information readily available and easily found online (or at least a Twitter/Facebook account). Find someone who's comedy you like, or you think you can spin something similar, track them down, send them a couple of really fleshed out ideas and they either like it or they don't. If they do, tell them feel free to use it if they want, and if they're ever in need of more material to email you.

    Eventually the money comes. PayPal is easy. $50 here and there can add up pretty quickly if you're generating stage worthy material. A big thing now is a lot of comedians doing podcasts/extended interviews, and it's a pain in the ass to have enough unique material that's different than their stage stuff, but similar enough to engage with the audience and let them get a feel for what they're about....so you just jot down every stupid fucking idea you have, and they either use it or they don't. I've never sold a joke that I cared about.
     
    #137 Poopourri, Jul 1, 2011
  18. konatown

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    Anyone in the Nashville area? Feel free to PM me, I'll be down for tonight through Sunday.

    Music City Round Up baby!
    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.musiccityroundup.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.musiccityroundup.com/</a>
     
    #138 konatown, Jul 1, 2011
  19. kuhjäger

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    So the people who moved in next door have been seeing what new ways they can annoy me.

    1st, to make everything they do more noticeable, they took down the privacy hedge that also acted as sound proofing, and just looked nice. Now we also can't do anything private on our patio.

    2nd. The woman is always making shitty crafts with a buzz saw and other power tools. She likes to do this when I am coming back from the morning shift and want to nap.

    3rd, They constantly have people over, and sit on their patio being as loud as they possibly can be.

    They do other things too, but they just upped the ante and got a parrot that they put outside every morning before 7 where it starts being a loud shitty bird.

    Thank god I leave this place soon before I poison the bird.
     
    #139 kuhjäger, Jul 1, 2011
  20. bewildered

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    Re: Eff It- The 2011 4th of July Weekend Drunk Thread! 6/30/11

    I would suggest planting a new hedge, but you will be moving soon?
     
    #140 bewildered, Jul 1, 2011
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