There's a significant difference between a piece of jewelry signifying your marital status and a Christmas sweater. As ostensibly you're going to be spending the rest of your life with the person in question, it is probably a really good idea to take their preferences and interests into account. Plus, with this specific example, there's practicality benefits: a simple band or small stone makes gloving the hand a lot easier, which can be quite important in some professions and/or climates. If the requirements/preferences were impractical or demanding the flashiest shit in the world? That's a major malus. In the specific case of Mya above? That's a damn good idea. Mya, what's your job again, nursing or some related field?
Here's a little thing about women getting men engagement gifts in exchange for a ring: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.slate.com/id/2296740/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.slate.com/id/2296740/</a> I wouldn't mind a pimping watch, but frankly, the thought of wearing something as expensive as an engagement ring on my wrist is just, well, gaudy. Working in health care, I very often have to deal with people who are low income or homeless. Good luck trying to relate to someone when a piece of metal on your wrist (or finger, if you're a woman) is worth more than their entire savings. Not that I don't know people in this particular industry who aren't clamouring for a one carat minimum. Sure does away with that Big Tymers' maxim, "Rolex, mo' sex."
If it's tit for tat. My million dollar idea would be engagement guns. She gets a 10k ring, I get a 10k gun. See if she can handle the insane specification list of a quality firearm, maybe even have her set up a LLC so that I can have an FFA fully auto weapon with a gemtech silencer.
Fry, what my husband and I did once we were fairly certain marriage was on the horizon was to casually play the "this is pretty, this is not" game. Nothing serious, just if we happened to be walking past a jewelry store on a shopping street or in a mall, we'd browse the windows and I'd point out pieces of all kinds, not just rings, that I really liked and also that I thought were heinous. It was pretty light and low-pressure since we weren't going into stores or meeting with jewelers (which it sounds like your lady would be a fan of), but it gave my husband enough pertinent information to be confident in his (total surprise to me) purchase. We did go into a jeweler together once, not to buy but to look. I kind of wish I hadn't - it just confirmed to me that I don't like diamonds on me, and depressed me as I tried on pretty diamond ring after pretty diamond ring that I knew were too expensive and kind of looked like shit on my hand. My husband picked perfectly. Pink sapphire center stone at 2.8 carats, not sure how many carats in teeny pave diamonds, all for under $14K. I adore the ring, am proud to wear it, and know that the price was within his budget (those who are jealous of said budget can kindly stuff it in their pieholes, he determined it not me as was his prerogative). This particular setting is kind of high, but because it's round and flatter it doesn't catch too badly in everyday life. It also went well with a lot of bands, which I appreciated since I am not a matchy-matchy kind of girl. Yes, my nails are blue today, don't hate. Engagement ring: Wedding band, complete with stretching doggie butt underneath: The set, as I wear every day: On the tit-for-tat tip, I did feel that the gift giving should go both ways when we got engaged, and I told my then-boyfriend up front that he would get to pick out a nice watch when I got bling. He ended up choosing a very classic Baume & Mercier with a leather strap that came to about $3K. Not exactly the same level price-wise I admit, but he had always wanted a high quality watch and was, as they say, happier than a pig in shit with it. Still wears it basically every day.
OK, now that I am done having stupid internet arguments, based on this, sounds as if you are flying solo on this. I agree, stick with a diamond. I would say something in the 3/4 carat to 1 carat range would be about right. You already have gotten some great advice regarding the quality of the stone. Out of the one that you posted in the original post, my favorite is the classic three diamond (but then you are forking out the dough for a big diamond plus 5 medium sized one, and they should all be of similar quality so they "match", so that is something to consider). There have also been some really great suggestions already by a few of the TiBettes. Personally I am partial to the pave set ones. Sparkly without being too over the top, usually have a pretty low profile so it will fit in with her work. That being said, I love the pink sapphire tweety! I have (a much smaller) ring with a pink sapphire that my husband picked out all on his own even!
A mate of mine came up with a good strategy. He proposed on a beach in Thailand with a .8crt eBay "diamond simulant" then let her choose the ring she really wanted when they got home. It had the benefit of being spontaneous while still letting her choose her own bling. Funny thing is I liked the $20 eBay ring more than the $4500 “real deal”. To me diamonds are a bit fucking silly. The fact they can now make them for virtually nothing and it takes a trained jeweller to tell the difference between the fakes and the real ones makes them a waste of money. Apparently the fake ones are “too perfect”. I would rather put a fake on lesstalkettes finger and take her to Europe for a month instead. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/18KT-WHITE-GOLD-GP-8-HEARTS-ARROWS-1CT-DIAMOND-RING-/280741813182?pt=UK_JewelleryWatches_WomensJewellery_Rings_SR&hash=item415d841bbe" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/18KT-WHITE-G ... 415d841bbe</a>
Although my hobby of retrieving engagement rings from out-of-the-way cemetaries has since long set sail, the one I bought for my wife was simple white-and- yellow gold ring with a not-so-big brilliant diamond. She hates Hollywood engagement rings and how girls show them off like the light of God shoots out of their finger. Thank Christ, because them shits are EXPENSIVE. Especially when you get a "Canadian" diamond to ensure her it wasn't mined via machete-guarded cess pool (she's a Intl. comparative studies major and genuinely cares about those sort of things). The ring worked out well. She loved it, and for some reason I guessed the perfect size: she's never had to adjust it, which it makes it easy to take off whenever she takes it off and whips it at my face while cursing me with asshole cancer.
First off, congrats. Getting engaged is exciting, and being married to a woman you love is the greatest thing on the world. I know I'll hear the gay jokes about this, but I was actually a bigger snob about the diamond than my wife was. When we got to the point where we knew it was coming, I took her to a bunch of shops, had her pick out what she liked, then went elsewhere and picked out the ring myself. It was a win/win: she didn't know what it would look like, but I knew what style she wanted. (I actually flew to a different city, as the price savings paid for the air fare and more.) The end result was a 1.51 center stone, cushion cut, D, VSI. The color was my biggest thing. The jeweler was really cool and did a few blind tests with me (with MASSIVE diamonds I wanted to see out of curiosity), and I caught the color difference almost every single time. The bigger thing, though, was how it did in the sunlight. I asked if I could see it outside, and to my surprise, he followed me out there. Indoors v. outdoors, even under the best lamps, makes a world of difference. Ideally, you'll see a bit of blue if the diamond is really clear. Regarding size of the diamond, I'm going to disagree with those who've said a larger face/shallower rocks is a better buy. In my opinion, it decidedly is not. You can see a noticeable difference in the "sparkle" with shallow diamonds; they just look flat, dead (not "lively" at all), and stupid. When the light enters in through the top, it bounces off the angle cuts on the sides, and that's what gives it the sparkle. Thus, you need to find a rock with the right proportions. Ultimately though, you can read and read and get hundreds of different opinions and know all the right shit, and if you don't like the ring, it's the wrong buy. This shit gets overwhelming after a while, so don't read into it so much that it confuses you. Know the basics of diamond grading so you won't get one pulled over on you, then just go with what you think is best. When I was finally picking out a ring, I had about 10 settings (bought the center stone separately) I could have gone with. Fortunately, my wife didn't see those, so she doesn't have anything for comparison. And your fiance won't either. She'll love whatever you get her.
If I ever get married - and god knows if THAT will happen - I really don't like the idea of an engagement ring. I simply don't wear jewelry. I don't even have my ears pierced. Plus, I grew up in a construction family. All of my uncles, my grandfather and my dad had horror stories of seeing so-and-so get his finger ripped off when some machine caught on the ring. This: ...is the nicest ring there is, IMO. I think the more ostenatious the ring, the faker the marriage. I love the way a simple band looks. That being said, if my fiance insisted, then I hope the ring is flat. Wide on the finger, with small jewels (not diamonds) that don't stick out. But probably I wouldn't wear it that much - I'd stick to the wedding band for day-to-day wear.
I've seen couples pick out engagement rings together, and I guess that's okay- different for me, but it's mutual for them. Proposals and unions have as much variety as everything else, so do what you want. However, I've noticed more there are now women who go out and pick out engagements rings long ahead of time- and without even their boyfriend's opinion. As if to say: "That's what I want, that's what you're going to propose to me with." Really? Is that what fun, surprise and adventure is for you? Clean out the lint trap in your heart, because you're obviously confusing a relationship with a business deal. Most of the time the times gaudy, gigantic rocks are squarely the fault of the guy's. Many of those times it's because of basic insecurity. He's so afraid she'll say "no" he has to dazzle the "yes" right out of her by putting the Heart Of The Fucking Ocean on her finger so she go give her gigantic "Fuck You" celebration to her friends.
My fiancee's ring is, admittedly, a bit much. The diamond is 1.7 carats, VS1 clarity, H color. It was a lot, but I knew a guy and paid far less than Ballsack. A few pro tips: Unless you have a spectrum analysis machine or something, you CANNOT tell the difference between a D and even an H color stone by eye. I MAYBE can between the outer ones, but not any others even two away. And the price difference between F (colorless) and G (near colorless) is massive. Depending on where the inclusions are located, anything finer grade than a VS2 stone is a waste of money. Seriously. I cannot see any inclusions in the diamond I bought, and I have the GIA card so I know where they are. Even with a loupe. Again, this is a big time "gotcha" so they can jack up the price of small diamonds that have otherwise little value. The way the diamond was cut is big, BIG. The different cutters out there have massively different talents, and this is part of the reason why they are graded. Looking at two VS1, D color stones... one cut well (good ratios) and one cut poorly, the difference was massive. Crazy massive. And guess what? They cost almost the exact same. Try to find a connection somewhere... anywhere. Paying retail for diamonds is for suckers. And for godsakes... at least haggle. You can EASILY get a store to come down 25%-30% if you just ask.
That's an extremely revealing choice of words; jealous. No, it's not that someone might think that 14K is too much money to spend on a ring, it's that they're jealous and wish they could throw that kind of cash around.
He proposed to me last summer. It's a traditional single stone setting ring with a white gold band. He picked it out himself to give to me, and that makes it special to me. I'll be involved in choosing the wedding band to accentuate it though. I'm glad that I didn't know exactly what I would be getting. It made the proposal more surprising (truth be told, I knew he was going to do it because of his behavior) and special. I'm also not a picky person and I tend to be sentimental about things like this. I don't normally wear jewelry, so having something that he picked out, just for me, for me to wear every day, is nice. I like looking at it because it reminds me of him.
If that boggles your mind (as it does mine), get ready for this: A very good friend of mine had the ring picked out before she even met her husband. I would try to convince you she's one of the least vapid people I know, and it's true, but I know it would be a waste of breath. And quite frankly, if I didn't know her, I wouldn't believe me either. Yep, I totally tell people to stuff things in their pieholes when I really mean what I say. I know, I know, around here we measure our e-penises by how poor we are/have been and how awesome we were/are at handling it and how we would never have wanted it any other way. How dare I ever insinuate, even in jest, that someone might actually want to be able to spend more money than they already have.
This is way off topic.. But I think I've un-earthed something amazing. Our very own Tweetybird, is Megan Fox. I've got the thumb pics to prove it.
We did this. When my husband and I first started talking about marriage, I said to him, that I wanted to design my own ring, mainly because I wanted to use a family diamond. He agreed, figuring I have to wear it every day, it may as well be something that I really love. He went and bought a cubic zirconia ring, that I think cost him under $100 and proposed with that. The little ring was pretty, and he got to surprise me with something, and I still got something that meant a lot to me, and I love wearing every day. I can also not emphasize this enough. My diamond is a VS 2, 'L' colour (It is slightly yellow, but I love the way it sits against the ice diamond colour of the pave halo around the centre stone), but it is cut in an older style known as an 'old mine cut' (My diamond was first cut in the mid 1800s.) It sparkles like a motherfucker. Any light that hits it, and bam. My friend has a diamond the same size, better clarity, better colour, and hers doesn't shine anything like mine. Here is my ring - also with my matching wedding band and eternity ring. My advice, is get her something she likes and will wear. Even if she is one of those girls who say they don't care about engagement rings etc, it is something she will theoretically wear all the time. It may as well be something she has a little bit of input about.
Obviously, if one gets a poorly cut diamond to maximize the table at the expense of all else, then you'll get a diamond with poor sparkle. The same goes for a diamond that is too deep and narrow. This is why I stated that the cut should be very good or higher. When I was suggesting to look for diamonds with a bigger face, I was assuming that we're dealing with a Very Good cut or better which places limits on the ratio of depth to diameter. Even with these limits, I seem to remember differences of up to 0.35 mm on the diameter of very good cut diamonds of the same carats. http://www.bluenile.ca/diamonds/diamond-cut
If they pull out their dicks and start measuring them, can we merge this with the "Does this cock make me look gay" thread?
I have to agree with ballsack on this one. God help me. Quality over quantity on this issue. The engagement ring Mrs. noland first had was an old mine cut that had great color, but mediocre clarity. Or maybe the reverse, I can't really remember, but it was my grandmother's, so the family value of it trumped the not so great clarity or color, whichever it was. Frylock, presumably you know this woman fairly well. Go find something she'll like and buy it. You already know what is going to work and what isn't. The people at the jewelry store will spend hours with you just to get a sale from you, so take the time and find what's right. The plus side is that you'll never have to agonize like this over jewelry buying ever again. Jewelry buying is the easiest thing in the world to do. Find a pretty blue, red, or green rock, surround it with smaller sparkly white rocks, set it in gold and let it dangle from her ears, around her neck, or sit on a finger. Jewelry buying 101.
Am I the only girl in the world that would be petrified walking around with $10K on my finger? I was engaged a number of years ago. The ring wasn't flashy, it didn't cost thousands and I had no involvement in picking it out - it was a small tasteful centre diamond with a ruby trio on either side. But to me, it wasn't about the ring, it was about the commitment to another person (which obviously didn't work out anyway). The idea of having a huge rock on my finger just sounds too ostentatious for my tastes. Some women like the bling and suit it - it's not for me. Congrats, Frylock. I hope you and your soon-to-be will have many happy years ahead.