Engagement Blings

I did not even want an engagement ring. I have to frequently take it off and tie it on the string of my scrubs everytime I do a procedure or go to the OR, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose it sooner or later. I just told him that if he gets me anything, it should be white gold, because I don't like yellow gold. Thankfully it only cost $600, and I actually told him that's more than he should have spent. Yes, we can afford more than that, it's just that I'd rather get a vacation or a car than some stupid ring that's gonna fall into the toilet when it's hour 30 of my shift. It's 1 simple diamond (I think, it's white and sparkly), and my friends say it's "cathedral setting" (I did not even know those things have names).

On the other hand I can partially understand why some girls want big rings. I definitely know girls that judge worth/wealth by ring size (did you see the ring on the bank teller's finger? how did she find a rich husband like that?she's not even that pretty!), but those are the same girls that judge you by the brand of your purse, and need to find better things to do with their free time. Haters gonna hate.

Honestly, it's just a ring, and if she really does not like it (which I doubt, it's hard to screw up a ring), she can "upgrade" it on your anniversary or something, especially if you let her know that's an option and won't act all butthurt if she does that. If she does not like ring shopping, proposing with a fake and then taking her ring shopping will overwhelm her, and she will likely not enjoy it. I'd hate it. You should probably ask her friend's opinion on that though, to doublecheck.

My advice is try to find out what color gold she likes, go with a simple diamond, and don't pick something obscenely huge that's gonna get in the way. Also, can't you make a deal with the jeweler that if she does not like that ring (but really, that is extremely unlikely), you can come and exchange for something of a similar price?

And - congratulations, I wish you both all the best.

 

We knew we would get engaged, and had spoken about it at length before I actually proposed. So we decided to go to a jeweler, and have her try stuff on and see what we both liked on her.

Then I went back a month later and picked out the actual ring and stone, and sprung the proposal on her so it was still a surprise. When you try on rings, they usually don't have a center stone in place, so even if you get the exact ring she's tried on, it won't look complete until the stone is set and it's sized.

I will say this: The rings BOTH of us thought would look the best on her just didn't work. We had looked at a bunch of styles online, and when she actually tried those styles on in person they just didn't do it. Needless to say, if I had bought what I thought she wanted without her trying any on neither of us would have been happy with it.

 

I got my wife's ring from Blue Nile. I was very happy with them. She gave me good ideas on what she wanted, and nearly picked out the ring herself. And that was fine by me, since she is the one who has to wear it, it should be her choice.

the story of how I proposed was a giant clusterfuck. We were living together, and it was just before Christmas. We were going to be spending that Christmas apart, each with our own families, and I wanted her to have the ring to show her family, so I was set to propose a few days before Christmas. I bought some flowers and had it all planned out. Then I got locked out of our house, and she didn't come home for almost two hours because she was working late. The flowers were in my truck, dying from the frigid cold weather. I figured it was a lost cause, and that I would propose another day. I wasn't even going to give her the flowers.

Then I had to go get something from the store, and decided not to let the flowers go to waste. They still looked ok, but were clearly not as fresh. She accepted them, and that was that. Until about an hour later, and the light went on for her. She asked me if I had planned on proposing that night. I said I was but things got messed up. She started crying, and asked if I was still going to. So I went and fetched the ring out of the closet, and asked her to marry me.

It's a funny story now

 

I try not to swing my e-dick around; but I'm not poor, and grew up middle class. It's impolite to discuss money but if I wanted to, I could go to the bank, certify a cheque and drop 14K on a diamond ring right now, and it wouldn't particularly kill me financially, so it's not out of inability that I have reservations about spending so much money. And this haughtiness of "you're just jealous" and "it was his prerogative to set the budget" doesn't come across very well. It's my prerogative if I never shower and don't change my underwear, but calling it a prerogative doesn't mean that it can't be criticized.

 

But you know as well as I do that if I had been honest about my ring but hadn't thrown in that phrase my rep would be blowing up with various versions of "you money-grubbing gold-digging good-for-nothing whore, how dare you demand a guy spend that much money on you??"

Damned if I do and damned if I don't, I guess.

 

You could have just as easily not mentioned how much it cost, or left out the part about people who disagree with spending so much money simply being too poor to afford it and therefore incapable of mounting an honest argument about the merits of such conspicuous consumption.

 

You say potato, we say gold digging whore.

 

The best ring story ever comes from my mother's best friend. She married some flashy, scum-bag lawyer, and I'm pretty sure she did it mostly for the money - because it's not like the guy was oozing awesomeness and personality. They got divorced and she decided she was going to trade in the diamond for cash. The thing was faker than a three dollar bill.

Spoiler

 

Nice, I just started looking for rings myself, and to be honest the prices are crazy. As much as I would love to drop 5-10k on a ring for her that's not even close to possible.

To be honest with a 2500 - 3000 dollar budget doesn't seem to buy a whole lot. She wants a round or princess cut solitaire, I'd like to get her a full carat ( or very close to it ) but I am not sure that 3k will do it.

The only thing that matters to her is it looks flawless to the naked eye and has good color. The whole process to me is confusing.

 

Husband bought mine at Shane Co. and I have nothing but good things to say about them. We visit MN (looks like they have plenty of other locations) once a year, and they service it (check the setting, clean it, re-dip it, etc.) for free, every time I'm there. They're always pleasant and fast, and he got it for a great price because he went with the "imperfect" cut princess diamond (that looks perfectly cut to anyone who isn't a jeweller).

 

Jesus Christ. I can't tell if this is sarcasm or if you are the biggest ding dong on this whole website.

Judging a ring's color from a photo (like I told you earlier) is beyond stupid. Like, Creationism stupid.

 

I have a few friends who followed the 3 month rule for buying a ring. Most of them were on mediocre money - so I guess $10k/$15k rings. I don't fucking get that shit. But a couple of them were on mid/high end white collar money - so 3 months salary before tax is $30k-$40k. I can't understand wearing something with that kind of replacement value period, and I can't imagine spending that kind of money on something with so little resale value. One buddy of mine who split from his ex got the ring in the divorce, and tried to sell it - last I heard he was trying to talk someone up to $5k for a rock he paid more than $30k for.

I don't fucking get it. The most expensive piece of jewellery I've ever purchased is a $700 watch, which I've had for more than 10 years, still looks great and I still wear most days. I haven't worn another watch in that time.

Fortunately, my ex wife shared my complete lack of interest/understanding of diamonds - so our matching wedding rings combined came in less than $200. Nice, high quality surgical steel. When we eventually split and I had to have it cut off, it took a couple of hours, and the guy killed two hack saw blades, and two grinder discs getting it off. Round the world trip instead was a vastly better use of the money.

Not quite a year since separating, I can't imagine getting married again. But I can't imagine ever spending more than $1k on a ring - no matter what my financial situation is. And jesus christ it's not going to be a fucking diamond. At least a sapphire has some kind of resale value later.

To clarify - it's not that I'll ever go into a wedding planning to resell the ring. But if you can buy something, and pay $10,000 for it, and 3 days later, it's retail value is $1500 - just because you bought it. Then you haven't bought a $10,000 item. You bought a $1500 item and paid $10,000 for it, which makes you an idiot. You might as well have bought magic beans. If someone really wants me to spend $10,000 on a $1500 ring, instead of spending $1500 on a $1500 ring with a different colored rock - They're too stupid to be married too.

 

This thread is madness. We have a bunch of men enthusiastically discussing jewelry, Ballsack revealing his hidden Jewish side, BrianH buying his fiance` a pricey bauble, and someone that isn't BrianH throwing out a 'Whore!' comment. It is truly the end of days.

Sigh. When I was 18 I purchased a diamond necklace in a white gold setting for the then-girlfriend, for about $600 which at that age was highly significant. She didn't wear jewelry. I'm retarded. Some years later in the friends with benefits stage when she started dressing up I thought I would get her something that didn't look like it had been purchased by an 18yr old, so I grabbed her a really quite nice teardrop shaped purple sapphire for about $800. The next year she asked for a Wii. I learn slow.

 

I don't have time to read through the whole thread, but the only advice I would give is to make sure to get 24k White Gold (If you're using gold). As far as I know, it is the only type of gold that won't breakdown if your partner has certain oils that turn white gold into yellow gold. If your soon to be fiancee does have this reaction, you'll have to get the ring Rhodium dipped from time-to-time and depending on your jeweler it can cost $50 or more a pop to do it. The money isn't a huge problem, but having to give up your ring now and again can be frustrating. I bought my wife an 18k wedding band and have since went with palladium (might be platinum) due to the properties some carats of gold have.

 

The only thing I really have to add here is something my girlfriend told me. She used to work in a high-end jewelry store and sold a bunch of engagement rings. Platinum was really popular at the time, but she always warned buyers that if platinum gets scratched, it can't be buffed/polished out as easily/quickly/inexpensively as gold can. So if she's going to be wearing the ring in situations where it might get knocked around a fair amount, that might be something to consider.

 

My wife's engagement ring is a moissanite (looks like a diamond, <a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite#Applications" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite#Applications</a>) in the center with two synthetic sapphires on either side all set in white gold. We got it at a family owned jeweler that my wife's family knew so the setting is apparently some kind of special setting that shop does and I can't recall the name.

Anyway, it looks great and cost a total of ~$1,500 and i doubt anyone could tell the difference between it and a ring made of real diamond and sapphires. I highly recommend moissanite instead of diamond if you're not looking to pay diamond prices.

In terms of the process, we picked it out together. Interestingly, it's the ring we both would have designed for her had we done it separately, which seemed a good omen.