You know how John McCain admitted that every man has his breaking point, and that the Viet Cong found his during his captivity? Well, "Entourage" found mine this weekend. The appropriately titled episode "Motherfucker" was - BAR NONE - the single worst episode of "Entourage" ever written, acted, filmed, and even imagined. There were literally no jokes in the entire episode, or if there were any "jokes" they failed so miserably it made watching this episode uncomfortable. Seriously, it was like watching a Very Special Episode of "Diff'rent Strokes" or something, where you go in expecting to hear a couple of "Whatchoo talkin' bout?"s but instead have to deal with a awkward story about how the Gooch touched Arnold's penis. This episode was that bad. I would love to give you a line item breakdown about what this episode did wrong, but like I said earlier the VC has finally beaten me. What more can I say about Eric "Wee Man" Murphy that would make his entire existence even more unbelievable and ridiculous? That’s he gone from failing upwards in Hollywood to becoming the revenge fuck of choice for hot Hollywood actresses? I do have to say that the only two characters that might escape this train wreck of a season unscathed are Scott Lavin and Lloyd, the former for making the most of every moment he’s given and the latter for having the good luck to go missing for every other episode.
My roommates don't understand why I get so angry, but its cause I hate E and the obscene nonsense his character encompasses. Melinda Clark is still foxy and to cheat on her filthy rich husband she chooses this: Fuck that
Why are you guys so surprised? Lonely women want men who are nice to them, and preferably younger. He seems to fall into both those categories, and gives her an outlet to one-up Sloan and Terrence at the same time. In other news, I want to grow up to be Dana Gordon.
You have to be fucking kidding me. Spoiler Sloan pregnant with E's baby. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
If this is true I am speechless. After what E pulled at the last minute of this last episode I couldn't think of a way this show could get any worse. I guess Drama's story is clearing up, we'll see if they do anything more with it. Ari's collapse is still the best story, and most fitting for a final fucking season. Seriously, this is a final season, and Vince is a low level movie producer who is concerned that women don't respect him? That's enthralling right there, they should have stuck with the drug addiction. He's the main focus of the show, even if he can't act his way out of a paper bag he should at least have something befitting of a final season. Drama might end up with a smash hit which would be alright. As for E's story I just think of that line from The Big Lebowski, "Nothing's fucked!?!? The god damned plane has crashed into the mountain!!!!"
I honestly wish that one had never been revealed, much like I still don't know Charles' last name from "Charles in Charge". That said, I do have to say I was slightly pleased with this past episode, if only because any improvement over "Motherfucker" is appreciated. I thought that Turtle's Don Peppe's (apparently a real place?) storyline was at least a throwback to the good old days of "Entourage" giving us a hyper-realized peek into the Hollywood lifestyle. Unless I'm forgetting a previous instance, the Don Peppe owner and his wife are the first starfuckers we've seen the gang have to deal with. The "get us a limo" line might have been the only laugh out loud moment of the final season so far. I'm still suffering PTSD from this whole Murphy/Lavin Group nonsense, and my therapist says I shouldn't mention Pizza Boy and his intellectually insulting "success" for fear that I might fly off into a real life Ari Gold rage. "Johnny's Bananas", the VF article, and the Chilean miner dog TV movie aren't helping, either. However, for the sake of full disclosure I have to admit that I really, really admire Scott Caan for bringing his "A" game to a "D"-list show.
Alright, so get this...episode 7 (the one that airs next) is on my on demand right now and I have the inside scoop as to what the fuck happens when it airs. I'm going to write it out, but spoiler it a couple times for awesomeness sake, read at your own discretion. Spoiler Be careful NSFW You asked for it...[rnsfw]E's gonna be a fucking Dad. Sloan's got a kid on the way and has only been with E since the breakup. She also said she doesn't want anything to do with E...which puts a spin on the movie being made. It looks like Turtle's Don Peppe's is going to work out because Vinnie is the fucking man and didn't sell his or Turtle's stock options in Avion Tequila which went public and made the boys a truckload of cash. Drama is going to make a Hallmark movie because of, again, how awesome Vince is; he basically bought out Phil's hate so the movie could get made. Vince looks like he's going to get the girl, which would be awesome. Ari, I don't know. He basically broke up with Dana to try to get back with Melissa (his wife), but there was no foresight as to that. That's about all I can figure out for the final two episodes, so there ya go.[/rnsfw]
This season continues to deliver, if you ordered disappointment with a side of ludicrous. El Tee, gonna have to disagree with you about Scott's character. The character sucks, though I'm sure the actor is good (I've seen him in a bunch of other things, and he was always good, so I have no doubt it's the writing, not the acting). He adds nothing to the show. You know a character's bad when I think "Wow, I kind of miss Dom." Yeah, I know. I still can't get over the Ari/Mrs. Ari (I refuse to refer to her as anything else) split. It made no sense when it happened, and no subsequent explanation has done anything to alleviate that major plot defect. Drama failing to cave in to get a job? Really? Where has this Johnny Drama been? You remember the former Drama, the one who would hit up anyone and everyone for a job of any kind. I miss that guy. "Hi, I'm Vince, and I'm a destroyed character." "Hi Vince." "Yeah, I used to bang lots of women, forget their names, sleep with their sisters, etc. I even dated a porn star. But now I'm hung up on a journalist chick that I met two seconds ago and I really really care what she thinks for no reason that is apparent to me or anyone else." "Hi Vince." "I'm also a recovering drug addict, though I partied in Hollywood for years, but inexplicably managed to beat all the odds and not develop an addiction until after my 20's and achieved widespread fame and fortune which I handled with seeming aplomb for the first six seasons." "Hi Vince." "Now I'm a producer, though I couldn't be bothered to read any scripts and in fact let my best friend pick them for me." "Hi Vince." "I'm Vince, and thanks for letting me share." "Hi, uh, who the fuck are you?" "Hi, I'm Lloyd. I'm still gay and theoretically still a character on the show." "Hi Lloyd." "Hi, I'm E, and suddenly have dispensed with all my morals and good guy stuff to bang my ex fiancee's step mom. Totally realistic change in character after seven years, right?" "Right, totally." I'll watch the last two episodes. I can only hope that in the last episode, Vinne wakes up next to Suzanne Plechett and Bob Newhart and says "Wow, I just had the craziest dream." That's about the only ending that will save this abortion of a season. I love you, Entourage, but like a child making poor choices, I can't save you from yourself.
I just watched the new season of Entourage right now, after two years of giving up on it because I had lost interest. Wow, you guys weren't kidding, it really has gotten worse... much worse. In its prime, Entourage was a fun, witty, quotable show with a glamorized depiction of being famous and a hint of wish fulfillment for male viewers; basically, Sex and the City for guys. Everything has already been said about how the writing is poor, how characters are acting nonsensically, etc. but I think that the current state of the show can be traced back to the Season 5 Finale. I think that's when the show really started to jump the shark. At the end of the Season 5, when Vince suddenly got a call from Martin Scorcese after Medellin flopped horribly, I knew that things would start going downhill. I just thought it was such a lazy way to end the season, it felt like a deus ex machina. Instead he magically becomes famous again and then we started getting all of these really tired, uninteresting plotlines.
You know, I don't disagree with you. I guess I'm so high on Scott (Caan) Lavin this season for no other reason than he (the actor) is at least trying to be funny and isn't disappointing me with uncharacteristic behavior. It also doesn't hurt that most of his comic moments come at Eric Murphy's expense. The rationale is sound (Ari has always been shown to put his job first), but the impetus was contrived. However, that sort of drama just doesn't fit this show, at least not the show we all started watching. And speaking of drama... Word. Motherfucking word. All true. And I'm sure I'd be more upset if I ever really though this show was about Vincent Chase. Pizza Boy has always been absurd, so I really shouldn't be as upset by all this as I am. But like I said, at this point I'm broken. "Entourage" has an awful lot of ground to make up to avoid being remembered as a shell of the show it once was and not a lot of time on the clock to do it. I suppose the post-mortem hasn't been written yet, but the rough draft has an awful lot of dried ink on it.
It is not helping itself out here with one episode to go. Spoiler First off, it's pretty obvious that they are working up to Ari walking away from his company to be with Mrs. Ari (I can almost guarantee a line like "I've got my own Entourage. It's time I started being there for them." to Vince). Turtle is pretty much wrapped up here, as is Drama. E is going to chase after Sloan and get her or not get her. I don't fucking care either way. Hopefully, he will die within 5 minutes of next week's episode. Vince is the confusing storyline. We've heard for multiple episodes now how shallow he is and blows through women like tissues. The writers have decided to give him long lasting love...which he gets in the final episode of the show. We have no idea how the relationship blossoms, or how Vince deals with it, but we just trust that this beautiful (yet horrible actress) is the one that tames him? The only thing that could make it work is a flash forward sequence as an epilogue (and nobody, I mean nobody, wants that cop out.
Holy Dues Ex Machina batman! Here's 20 million dollars for your restaurant with retard chef's Turtle!(given another season Im sure they would have burned that place down and never mentioned it again). This was the second stupidest thing this episode did after Sloan's surprise baby. Looking back over the shows plots on wikipedia I think season 3 was the last decent season of the show, by then all of the reoccurring bullshit was laid out but not yet repetitive. It's been a LONG time since Ive watched this show from the beginning and am wondering now if the shitburger it has become was a lot more evident than I remember.
As bad as this show has gotten, I am going to be livid if they have truly telegraphed this pass as badly as it seems they have. Vince doing more producing rather than acting like Mark Wahlberg as well as ending up with Sofia, turtle with his restaurant, E moving to NY with Sloan and thbaby probably horrible baby, Drama with Johnny Bananas and the chilean miner dog movie, and Ari leaving the agency to be with his family. I'm really only tuning in every week to see Dana Gordon's tits.
Why the fuck would Ari go back to his wife when he could bang Dana Gordon? One is a spoiled, manipulative little girl with lots of money and a selfish attitude, and the other is a logical, gorgeous self-made woman who actually respects his passion in life. This show has just gone from slightly watchable to rage-inducing.
The problem is, is that is has been as described, "A Sex in the City For Men." But instead of being focused towards men, where the dudes just bust on each other, fuck hot groupies, and make jokes at the expense of Hollywood (you know stuff men really like seeing). They truly turned it into a Sex in the City where the whole fucking show is based around their stupid fucking relationships. Seriously, every relationship story arch this season, E's undying love for Sloan, Ari's all out devotion to his wife and family, and Vince trying to convince a super intelligent woman that he cares for women, are ALL Hollywood typical romcom bullshit written for what they think women's sensibilities are. This show hasn't been written for men for a long time now.