The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so here goes...I have a maraschino cherry addiction. It's become impossible for me to drink basics like chocolate milk or orange juice without them. And not just one cherry, mind you, but five or six per drink. It's a matter of time before I add them to water. Best I could do:
I don't know about the rest of you but when I get stoned, I start looking around at my house and all of the things that look slovenly and get my cleaning on. I call it my mojo. It actually makes me more motivated.
I am exactly like this. I clean all the fucking time when I am stoned. When I would get high at work I would always do my cleaning then (I used to be a Porter). Also, I love to smoke and then go for a long hike or walk, especially in the woods.
A cocktail, by my definition, involves multiple ingredients, and is generally used in the process of wooing/fucking a female. A gin and tonic is not a cocktail. It's a fucking gin and tonic, with ice, and lime if I request it. A scotch and water is not a cocktail. It's a fucking scotch, with a splash of water to spread the taste around my mouth. Vodka club involves stoli or kettle one, a light splash of club, and a little lemon. It's not a fucking cocktail. Because "cocktail" involves the word "cock," and that makes me uncomfortable to say I'm enjoying one An appletini is a cocktail. A sex on the beach is a cocktail. A pina colada is a cocktail. Whatever the fuck martha stewart/chelsea handler drinks, is a fucking cocktail. (Please note: I'm generally against adding soda to crap. I like the taste of liquor. As such, I tend to avoid whiskey and cokes, as I'd prefer the whiskey straight. Same with vodka and sprite. Or tequila and orange juice. Exceptions are made for any drink involving an energy drink as a mixer, as since I don't do coke or other drugs, that's the next best substitute.)
Going for a run while stoned is amazing. Throw on your headphones and get lost in the music and you basically never get tired. Also, stoned showers are a trip. I also get a lot of reading done when I'm high too but not books, train of thought isn't long enough. Better to read nerdy blogs and such. God damn I wish I had some green.
I love that shit too. That's where I do all my weirdest thinking. Like Karma or God or Buddah or someone won't hear my thoughts over the sound of the water. Those thoughts of slapping the eyeballs out of the head of some customer/cockbag/idiot driver on the road before forcefully stuffing my used tampons into his empty sockets. Wait, what? I can't read books or even watch movies or shit like that because again, that dust bunny in the corner of the room will be mocking me and in the trip to take it to the trash can, I will invariably see 15 other things that must be done RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND. Then my ADD will take over and in taking something from that room to another, I will see 15 other things and so on and so forth. I must say, I have also gotten irrationally paranoid in my old age. It started at about 30 but that's a story for another time.
I outsmoke all you bitches. Can you say "buckets"? Booya. My daughter has invented this new ear-splitting shriek that can open a goddamn garage door. This is how she notifies us that she is awake. Think along the lines of the Everything's Okay Alarm. It's not a thing she does much, but you could probably hear her in the space shuttle. Eech. "Sew me into the couch!"
How do you even make it out of the house. On the very few occasions that I have been stoned, it may have seemed like a good idea, I may have even ventured up to get changed to run, but then I would get distracted by what I am supposed to put on, what music I would like to listen to, and phew that is exhausting so I probably need a snake and to sit infront of the TV for a while. And then I notice hours have passed. Hell, that is me on a good day. I don't need to add anything else into the mix.
I tried a fucking cocktail tonight. Holy sweet fuck a long island iced tea is alomost pure alcohol. Should I be ashamed to admit that afeter 2 of these I was feeling absolutely fucked up? I'm a little drunk so I couldn't quite figure out the picture focus between Van Damme and college basketball girls so I just grabbed a picture of some cheerleaders. Good enoiough for me. [attachment=0]
A long island iced tea isn't a fucking cocktail. It's fucking death. That's what you drink after your wife left you saying she prefers to fuck black guys. A long island iced tea is what you drink after you get fired from Waste Management. A long island iced tea is what you drink after your accidentally knocked up your college fuck buddy and she's all of the sudden against abortion. A long island iced tea is what you drink before you pull up the landing gear and shout "allah akbar." Feel no shame. That shit is straight death. In unrelated news, I just shot the fuck out of my trash cans with my .22, loaded with what was supposed to be hallow points. I hear that shit mushrooms and basically fractures upon initial hit. What a crock of shit. Went through both sides of the fucking trash can, and did jack shit to the tree I decided to take out in revenge. Fucking bullshit. I'm now wanting to get a 12 gauge pump, throw in a few slugs or buck shot, and see what that'll do to a fucking trash can. Before, the .22 and my weak-ass 20-gauge was for home protection. We live in a nice place, but when I'm drunk and feel like fucking shit up, this shit aint gone cut it anymore. Motherfucker I have a wife, and despite my protests, she gonna want to have kids in a few years. I need to get my firearms straight before that shit. Any advice on what to get (obviously, it must be affordable for someone that makes slightly more than average income), is much appreciated. I'm talking home invasion shit. What do I need? What's considered "overkill," because that's what I want. Someone give me a primer.
When I go to the Casino I always go to the nice bars in there and get a couple of Long Island ice teas at the bar so I can't taste the shit they bring you at the tables.
A) Unless I'm mistaken, shotguns are pretty good for home invasion type deals. They won't go through walls, and you don't need to be terribly accurate. Bear in mind that if you are actually going to be in a situation where you need to shoot someone, it's going to be dark, scary, and confusing, particularly since you don't have much formal training in shooting people in dark, scary and confusing situations. A laser beam you will not be. B) Perhaps the thing about the mushrooming and hollow points and destroying trees is that you're using a god damned .22. It won't mess up much more than a piece of paper. (I'm being facetious a bit here) C) There's a special on a 9-piece set of Paderno copper pots and pans: $200 for what would otherwise be $650. For comparison, a good copper frying pan typically costs at least $150, and that's included in the set. This set only has a copper base, though, it's not all-over copper. Should I get it? So conflicted. Maybe I should ask the cooking thread.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! We have our very first Toxx Clause! In the "Mom, do I have to eat with them?" thread, dixiebandit69 posted: What is a Toxx clause, you ask? According to the Urban Dictionary, a Toxx Clause is: It's been a couple hours and Dixie has not posted his awesome thread idea in the suggestion board. Since he may be thinking very hard about it, I will give him until 11:59PM Sunday night, Pacific Time, to post exactly one suggestion to the suggestion board. I will run the thread on Monday, with a poll attached. The poll will ask a simple question: Is this thread [ ] Awesome or [ ] Not Awesome. Here is what will happen depending on the outcome: Dixie fails to post a thread suggestion by the appointed time: Dixie is banned for 3 days. Dixie fails to follow the rules and posts more than one suggestion: Dixie is banned for 5 days. Dixie manages to post one thread idea, and less than 30% of the voters think his thread is awesome: Dixie is banned for 5 days. Dixie manages to post one thread idea, and between 30-50% of the voters think his thread is awesome: Dixie is banned for 3 days. Dixie manages to post one thread idea, and between 50-80% of the voters think his thread is awesome: It's a push, and we all enjoy Dixie's thread. Dixie manages to post one thread idea, and 80%+ of the voters think his thread is awesome: We all enjoy Dixie's thread, and he gets sole right to choose my forums title.
You better believe nobody who's been drinking will be able to understand all of those. So I just got home from the shoot now. I am dead tired. Blerg.
Apparently, 5.56mm is better if you're worried about wall penetration. It tends to fragment on impact, whereas shotgun pellets, slugs, or pistol rounds tend to punch on through without fragmentation.
So you want guns for drunken blowing off of steam AND home defense? Do us a favor and stick with a baseball bat and 911, you are going to make the rest of us gun nuts look bad. Seriously, if you make more than average income just go out to the gun ranges that rent out automatic weapons every time you need to feel like a man. Hell they let elementary school kids blast Mac-10s Im sure they'd let you stumble in drunk. I hear this guys gun club is always looking for recruits.
I tried to rep you over this shit but I guess you can'f rep the same person in a short period of time. thanks buddy, i got a little bit of my ego back. I laughed my ass off, now I'm going to try to pull a ballscak and fuck some 18 year old tonight to put these long island iced teas to good work ( for the record I have switched back to captain and cokes because I don't feel lik commiting suicide tonight.