Have you considered doing the opposite of what you've been doing? I mean...if every interaction you've had online has been wrong, the opposite would have to be right.
An anonymous TiBber has asked me to post this profile for your review: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/UGASteven125" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.okcupid.com/profile/UGASteven125</a>
Either eliminate that sentence all together or at the very least remove the fact that you go to RenFest. Same reason as video games, most girls can accept it once they know you, but it's an automatic dis-qualifier for many women before the first date. Also, when I read your thing about having a cat but it lives with your mom, the first thing that came to my mind was that you were irresponsible. Unless you have a very good reason for having the cat stay with your mom I'd remove that part.
Alright, it looks like I'm getting a bunch of good suggestions from you guys that have made me re-evaluate my entire mindset here. Especially this: I've put a bunch of emphasis on my gamer interests because I've always thought that being a gamer is a showstopper for women - something they have to be cool with before any other considerations. However I'm absolutely not just looking for someone to sit around and play video (or other) games with. It'd be awsome if she was into gaming as well but really any potential date would just have to be cool with it and not look down on me for it. (Yes I know how pathetic that last sentence is but honestly I'm hugely insecure about my gamer interests so that's really how I feel.)
I threw a new one up there. I thought about the picture thing, and I honestly don't have that many pictures of myself. The ones I do have are because a girl took a picture of us together and sent it to me or tagged me on Facebook. I have a hard time taking pictures of myself and it not looking incredibly forced and awkward. I pick everything apart and end up hating it.
All of this IMO. This is more creepy than romantic or loyal. It sort of makes you sound like a doormat; perhaps a better way to phrase it is, "I'm very loyal to my friends/family." It has close to the same effect without making you seem like the kind of person who is easily whipped. Nope. Try, "when I get a chance to read" instead. It makes you sound busy rather than intellectually sluggish. Calling yourself handsome either comes off as vain or insecure. Neither one is very good.
I think dude is right, cut a few of the girl pics. Maybe the one with the girl in the witness protection program and the one on the futon where you look like a huge stoner (Im guessing that was taken freshman year of college). Your lead off is way too scatterbrained and the bolded parts are outright killers.
While I agree with you in practice, putting this in your profile makes you sound like a real tight ass, like you will chew her out if she is 30 seconds late for anything. I feel like this should be a trait they found out about after getting to know you. Also, can you leave the income part blank? Not trying to pick on you, but less than 20k a year can be a serious deal breaker if the girl hasn't already gotten to know you. Just... no.
Also, post more about your interests and hobbies, most of the emphasis of your interests seem to be food and watching TV.
I haven't been signing in much lately, and I haven't changed my profile in more than a year, but feel free to stop by. I'm pretty thick-skinned.
It's surprising that there's a lot of advice about how to describe yourselves. In my experience, which is embarrassingly extensive, the best tack is to keep personal details to a minimum, and instead show who/how you are. Below is the text of an ad I used on and off from 2003-2009. Perhaps I had other things going for me regarding looks, job, etc. or perhaps I just have very low standards, but the responses I got were more than satisfactory. Feel free to critique, or discuss whether you think this is a good idea. If you are one of the people seeking feedback on your own profile, and think this style may work for you, feel free to plagiarize.
Since I'm critiquing, I should post mine. Please note, however, that this is Serious Business to me and I am very sensitive.
Qualifications: I threw up a Plentyoffish page about a year ago to meet some college girls in my area for during breaks/over the summer and have met a handful of cute, cool girls. I have lots of nerdy hobbies and interests but I present them in an interesting way. Two of my first 'interests' are reading and killing zombies. In my experience most girls who join these sites and don't own 10 cats are bored/slightly boring. They want to see a zest for life. You need to show that while you love to meet new people, your life will continue to be awesome without them. No one wants to date a massive project, they want fun and energetic. Don't bother listing long, awkward paragraphs of intimate personal details. Present the best version of yourself and convey that you enjoy your life and that will reflect into your interactions.
Since it does seem that we have a lot of online daters here what are all your opinions on the various sites? I have a profile on OKC and Match and the profile format and matching on OKC seems a lot better than Match; however the women on Match are better looking. I was told EHarmony seemed much more focused on Christains looking to connect, which is hilarious to me in retrospect - I completed their personality survey or whatever it was and was told there was no one in their database that was a good match for me based on whatever criteria they used. I also got the impression that Plentyoffish was the ghetto among the dating services; I was filling out the survey profile and it asked me if I had a car. Maybe I misread the intentions of the question but it seemed to me that if whether or not I had my own transportation was important enough know before I even filled out my profile it made me question the types of people who were using the service.
I happen to like OKC and JDate. This has nothing to do with the layout and everything to do with the demographics.
I hate poor people with the passion that Crown Royal hates Glenn Beck. I signed up for Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, only to find that 90% of the women on these sites lived at or below the poverty line. I couldn't stand it. Everytime I found a girls profile I found decent enough, I came to find out she worked part time and made less than 20k per year. As a result of this I never found success with them. I ended up ponying up and paying for Match.com where I found many girls that I would gladly date. Apparently if you have to pay for a dating site, it means you have some kind of money in the first place. I went on dates with five women from Match.com before finally on settling on one I now proudly call my girlfriend. The most difficult thing I found with Match.com was that I had to call it off with a few other women I met there when I finally settled on one to date.