other than the fact you can fix a computer, you don't list one positive thing about yourself. I would recomend changing that first.
Two questions... One: Who are you looking to attract? Two: Did you pick the "The Two of Us" questions, or are they randomly assigned to you? If you picked them, consider changing them. It sends a weird message if your first two questions have to deal with being caught masturbating and if your potential partner likes receiving pain during sex (unless, depending on your answer to question #1, you're looking for someone who likes receiving pain during sex).
Yeah man, that's the first thing I noticed. You present yourself as reasonably intelligent, articulate, and self-depricating, which is great. But too much self-deprication is going to kill it. Being poor as a young adult isn't a big deal if you phrase it the right way. Just say that you're a young professional, problem solved. Take out the low self-esteem flags even if that's how you really feel, you aren't giving yourself enough credit.
Serious advice, because putting yourself out there isn't easy: Quit pulling your punches. Your entire profile is distant and sarcastic, and that's not what online daters are really looking for. In person, with the right inflection, context and body language, this is all quite funny. Not so much online. It comes off insecure and unwilling to commit to the premise. A little sarcasm is good, but you want your essential pitch to be relatively earnest and straightforward; it's not like a messageboard where the only thing that matters is a laugh or two. The first paragraph especially, is weird; you don't want to begin with self-deprecating racial stereotypes, because they have a high probablity of alienating before you even get a chance to prove how awesome you are. Don't mention how broke you are. If she asks, sure, be honest, but putting it in the middle of your profile makes you seem like you're proud of it and you think strangers should know. Which might be true, but isn't doing you any favors, dating-wise. Ultimately, you get out what you put in. If you want to be weird and maybe eventually meet somebody who gets you, go for it. If you'd like to consistently go on dates and actually use the site an intended, take your tongue a bit out of your cheek. I think this is good. I feel like this is the sort of mildly self-deprecating detail that doesn't scream "I have low self-esteem." Plus, it's the kind of thing that women can use as an opening line (I'm up late a lot too! Isn't it so crazy how we're both up past 11pm? Do you like Conan or Jay Leno better??? My vibrator is shaped like a turtle!)
I've used both OKCupid and Match and found about the same amount of success (a date every two or three weeks), except OKC isn't a rip off. I deactivated both a few months ago, maybe I'll fire OKC up again so I'm not casting stones without offering myself up for criticism. Jimmy James - I'd start by finding a profile picture where you're not shoving shit up your nose. It's funny and maybe expresses your personality, but I wouldn't make it your featured photo.
Agreed, I was under the impression that one of the first rules of having a dating profile is to not post negative things about yourself. Your profile isn't terrible really, but the stuff about making poor financial decisions and having a messy apartment aren't going to help you. What you have on there has an overall feeling of Cynicism and sarcasm. Hey, I'm pretty cynical too, but it's not something you want to display about yourself when first meeting girls. Sarcasm is great too, but I would think it is only really good on a dating profile in a lighthearted, funny kind of way. That's just my $0.02. I'm not a chick and I've never used one of these dating sites, so take what I said with a grain of salt.
My friends made this for me. I have no idea if I'll even use it, but if something good comes along,that would be awesome http://www.okcupid.com/profile
At least all those strays aren't going to waste. Is this the kind of humor to not put on a dating profile?
Online dating sometimes gets a bad rap, but my thought is, why not? It's not like you'll stop going out and meeting girls in the more traditional ways. It's just an additional avenue. That said, fuck it: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SurfNTurf08/
Holy shit you're white!? This whole time I thought you were a sassy overweight latina with a flair for cooking and love to spare.